Because I Care
by writingmonkey10
Summary: A fic very loosely based on my one shot "Asking" though you don't have to read it first. Set between IM 1 and 2. Tony is caught in his own personal hell and needs help finding his way back out. But he's not sure he can trust the one person he should.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh hai.**

**This is set between Iron Man 1 and Iron Man 2. Enjoy, ye wonderful people.**

**Chapter 1**

It was 3:25AM when her phone rang. Pepper shot up instantly and quickly slipped out from under the sheets before she answered. There was no need to check caller ID, there was only one person who would have the nerve to call at this hour.

"Tony, what is it?" she said, frustration seeping from her core.

_This is a programmed message_. JARVIS's cool voice spoke through as opposed to Tony's carefree though just as familiar voice. _Mr_. _Stark's health is currently at risk and your assistance is required immediately. Would you like to know his vitals?_

He was drunk, Pepper immediately assumed. She sighed, exasperated, and covered half of her face with her hand. "Yes, please," she answered JARVIS as she left the bed and prepared for another late night visit.

_Pulse – 49 beats per minute. Blood pressure – eighty-seven over fifty-two millimeters of Mercury. Temperature – Ninety six point four—_

_Jesus Christ_. Pepper was immediately filled with adrenaline as she rushed to put something decent on. This wasn't alcohol – it had never been this bad.

Something else was wrong. She could tell immediately.

For the first time she had woken up, her host on the other side of the bed, stirred, watching her jump from one place to another.

"Where are you off to, so early in the day?"

Pepper turned around, unable to return the casual smile he had thrown her way. "I have to get to work."

"At three in the morning?" he asked skeptically.

"I'll be back hopefully before seven in the morning," Pepper said quickly, not really paying him any attention.

"Your boss is a real character," he joked.

"Robert, this isn't funny," Pepper suddenly attacked. She spun around and faced him, daring him to say another word.

Robert's eyes widened, sensing dangerous waters. "Whoa."

Pepper sighed, rubbing the side of her face. "There's something wrong. Okay? I need to take care of it. Can you give him a break?" Already her mind was working – this had something to do with whatever it was he had been hiding for the last few weeks. She couldn't ignore the invisible wall that had suddenly risen between the two of them. He was retreating, and she desperately hoped it wasn't the cause of whatever she was about to find at his house.

She also sensed the exasperated aura surrounding her boyfriend. "Alright," Robert said simply. "I'll see you tomorrow."

There were two options – she could take care of this, what was happening right now in this room with Robert, or she could choose to deal with it later and focus her attention on the matter at Tony's house. And for reasons she didn't feel like dissecting at the current moment in time, she chose the latter.

Pepper grabbed her phone and left the room.

"JARVIS, call a hospital. Now."

* * *

Lying flat on his back, alone in his workshop with little else to do, Tony chose to back-track, and ask himself how he had gotten here. What sequence of events had led him to this very moment? To his current state of being and the way he had been living these last few weeks?

He started by comparing himself to others and how they felt and perceived the world around them. And the most obvious difference was that everyone else seemed to experience life along a general spectrum – a spectrum of emotions or events, and everything they felt and everything that happened to them fell somewhere between the ends of the continuum. But for whatever reason, for the last few weeks, Tony had lacked that continuum. Instead, everything he experienced found itself on the extreme ends – everything was either perfect or at its absolute worst.

When it rained, it poured, he supposed.

No, that was a lie. Not everything about his life these last few weeks had been like that. No need to exaggerate, Tony Stark. What would Ms. Potts, say? Or was the saying, "What would your mother say?" Yes, that was it. That made much more sense.

Now he was getting distracted – what was he thinking?

His mind was unraveling now, as he expected. He was forgetting things and hopelessly content with that. Granted, it had only been a few minutes (or a few hours – all the same), but it was an entirely new sensation for him; to have a mind that worked at such a dull pace. It made everything…less exciting.

Perhaps that had been the source of his weakness all along.

But this dull pacing – that was an extreme, was it not? On his spectrum of emotions and comprehensions? At least, it was for him.

But this extreme was different, because he had brought it upon himself. Everything else that had happened was not his fault. He was merely a victim, trying to make sense of what was happening, and even more importantly, deal with it. This was not the same – this was all him.

She would be disappointed. He hated her seeing them disappointment. What? That didn't make any sense at all.

* * *

It was difficult to surprise Tony Stark. He was, after all, a connoisseur of the art, able to dish it out faster than anyone else could possibly comprehend the news. And naturally, since he was able to dish it out so well, he had no problem being on the receiving end.

So when Pepper first asked him what the reactor felt like, resting inside his chest, he was more surprised to find out that he actually _was_ surprised. For some strange reason that seemed to elude him, he hadn't expected her to ask. Or perhaps, it was simply that he hadn't expected her to ask so bluntly and directly.

_What does it feel like_?

That was the question – and to his horror, he didn't have a predetermined answer. He didn't have an answer because he hadn't expected the question – a simple and innocent question. _What does it feel like_?

He remembered hesitating, for a terrifying second not sure how to answer, an internal war raging within him. He could blow it off completely, write it off as nothing, lightly ridicule her inquiry and return to less personal matters. And if it had been anyone else, that probably would have been the expected plan of action. But it most certainly wasn't an option for Tony – a man who wasn't exactly known for how well he avoided awkward situations. And Pepper knew it as well.

He could lie.

But that was just stupid. Why lie? And say what exactly? Fabricating a lie was more complicated than just telling the truth; which led to another interesting yet terrifying realization.

He didn't really _know_ what it felt like. Tony had never thought about assigning words or a direct sensation to something that now felt like a part of him, an extension – a second heart even. It was like asking him what his leg felt like. It was _there_, and that was all he knew.

But Pepper wasn't expecting an answer like that. She didn't have an arc reactor planted into the middle of the chest, and neither did anyone else. She wanted to know, to understand – and an answer like "I feel that it's there" wouldn't suffice for an inquisitive mind like Pepper's.

So Tony was forced to actually _think_ about it. What did it feel like?

They were in the shop when she asked, and she had just handed him his late night cup of coffee right before she left to go home. He was wearing a grease stained, long sleeved, black shirt – not entirely see through, but enough for her to notice the blue light seeping from underneath. And from there, the question followed, unhindered. She only had time to register Tony's hesitation before she realized what she had said.

Then it was her turn to hesitate. She shouldn't have asked that. Granted, that invisible line between boss and friend had been disregarded a long time ago but maybe this was too far. Maybe she was overstepping her boundaries. There were topics that were unapproachable, taboo subjects – the women he brought home, the years surrounding his parents' death; maybe this was one of them.

"I'm sorry-" Pepper hesitated, trying to back out of the mess she had unwillingly placed herself in. "I'll just-"

"No, that's not it-" Tony said, drying his hands on a nearby towel. He shrugged once, nonchalantly even. "I just never thought about it…or thought about you asking about it."

Her eyes wandered back to his chest and the blue light within him. It still fascinated her and she'd never really had the chance to just _look_ at it. Of course, there was that one time Tony needed her to install a new reactor into his chest but she had been more concerned with _not_ killing him and sending him into cardiac arrest than with the device itself.

He thought for a moment, wondering how to accurately phrase what the machine _felt_ like. It wasn't an important question, not really. But to him it was – the reactor was a part of him. He _should_ be able to define it. And he wanted to get it right the first time.

_What does it feel like?_ It was a simple question – so why couldn't he provide an answer just as quickly?

"It…hums a little," he tried. "But…I don't really think about it, it's like…" Suddenly the perfect analogy penetrated his mind and he went with it. "It's like living by the airport. At first the sound of the planes going by your house is as annoying as hell but after a while you don't even hear it, right?"

"Tony, I've never lived by the airport-"

"Yeah, well I never have either but work with me."

She rolled her eyes, smiling a little but nodded as if to encourage him to continue. And he did.

"It's like that," he told her. "It's…it feels like an arm or a leg, I don't really think that it's there anymore. Does that make sense?"

Pepper wasn't so sure why he was putting so much effort in telling her and making sure she understood, but she listened anyway. And she _did_ understand – or at least, understand that he didn't really know what it felt like at all.

That was two days after he told the press he was Iron Man. Three weeks ago.

And Tony hadn't been lying that day – when he had in more words than necessary explained that the reactor was _part_ of him. Just like how Iron Man was part of him, _was _him. But things were changing.

He could feel the reactor now. He could feel his chest clench uncomfortably. At times it was just a light throbbing, other times – it felt as if someone was gently tapping at his chest. No pain, not yet at least. But the sensations were there and it no longer felt like a part of him. It felt like a foreign object trying to take over his body in slow increments. And the sensations came at the oddest, most random times – when he was going 80 miles per hour in his Audi down the freeway, when he got a cup of coffee, just before he went to bed.

There was no reason for the feeling to suddenly appear now of all times. He had felt nothing but initial numbness when the reactor had first been implanted into his chest. And when he had returned, the piece in his chest was almost ignorable. But all of a sudden actual pain, despite how slight, was now apparent.

But why now? Why now when he was finally understanding everything, coming to terms with the weaponized suit he had invented, and being a part of something much larger than himself?

What had changed so quickly? Obadiah, press release, coming out as Iron Man – that had happened. But it still didn't explain what he was feeling _now._

Then, in the dead of night – his threshold was crossed. It wasn't just throbbing and numbness in his chest – it was stabbing, yanking, tightening pain. Pain that made him see white and refused to relinquish its grip on him. Pain that controlled him – completely and totally.

That first night, he had done nothing except for lay on his back, gripping the sheets and shaking uncontrollably. He wanted to move and find relief – a bottle of Tylenol, his hidden stash of painkillers, something to make the ceaseless aching stop. But even the simplest movement was an impossibility. So, for fifteen minutes, he writhed in agony. Alone.

The next morning, he consciously forgot about the entire event sure it had been a dream; until the pain gripped him again three days later as he updated JARVIS's software. And again, he could do nothing.

Fear followed soon afterwards; fear of a pain he didn't know he was capable of bearing and worst of all, incapable of understanding. That's what scared him – and he unconsciously found himself preparing in advance, leaving prescribed pain medications in the oddest places just in case. And as the fear consumed him, he retracted back into his mind.

It needed to make sense – as long as what was happening made sense, he could handle it.

What had changed?

The arc reactor had been implanted into the middle of his chest. Obadiah tried to kill him. He was responsible for the world's latest and probably most powerful invention. In one word, everything.

And as he spent his time thinking about what had changed and delved into the deep recesses of his own mind, he was forced to uncover the memories he had tried to forget. Memories of a cave, and a man with glasses who had given his life for him.

He was scared - of his past and of his future. And this basic realization, the source of his fear, did little to alleviate his fear of the pain that followed. The pain that _always_ followed.

Did it hurt because he was trying so hard to forget? Or did it hurt so much because he always seemed to remember?

His own mind was his new cave. And he was finding it difficult to find his way back out.

_Tony…Tony…_

He closed his eyes, as if it would shut out the voices echoing in his head. He was crazy. He was literally going insane now.

_Tony…_Tony?

He opened his eyes again and instead of fear, a new emotion took hold of him – confusion. Why was she here? Why did she come? What was she doing here?

But _she_ looked scared. Her eyes were wide open and she was running up to him, panic etched into her face. And Tony didn't understand, because he didn't know what she was seeing.

She saw her boss lying on his back on the couch in the workshop, empty prescription bottles beside him. His head was facing the ceiling but her eyes were following her, warily, as if he wasn't sure if he could trust her. He looked pale and his mouth was hung open at a grotesque angle. And, most terrifying of all, he was frothing at the mouth, milky white liquid dripping down the side of his mouth.

Pepper ran up to him, her heart racing inside her chest as she looked around, trying to make sense of the situation – trying to understand what she was seeing. A man she thought would never…

No. Not _her_ Tony – not like this.

_Why?_

She grabbed a prescription bottle and looked at the label. _Eszopiclone_ – sleeping pills. The other bottle was empty as well, once filled with painkillers.

Pepper looked back at him and Tony saw the fear in her sea green eyes. But when he looked at his reflection in her eyes, he saw nothing – just an empty, blank stare. Tony. That was _him_.

_That's me._

"Tony," she held his face, forcing him to look at her. "Look at me, Tony…"

He wheezed slightly, but the words he had successfully formed in his head weren't leaving his mouth. But Pepper interpreted his wheezing as a struggle to breath.

_God…_ "How many did you take?" Pepper asked.

No answer. Just a simple stare and an occasional blink. _Don't be mad_, he wanted to tell her. _I don't like it when you're mad._

She shook him again – hard. "Tony, how many did you take?" But still – nothing. She saw acceptance in his eyes. Fatigue, exhaustion. He was _tired_. But Tony saw fear and tears leaving the corner of _her_ eyes. And men with gurneys approaching the two of them from behind her.

What were they doing in his shop? They weren't allowed in here.

He passed out just as the strange men separated him from her.

**I know what you're thinking – this kind of reminds me of the beginning of "Help Me!" Are you just re-writing it? What are you doing, writingmonkey10? Or maybe you're thinking "God damn – I'm sick of the hospital scenes".**

**TRUST ME.**

**This is going to be **_**completely**_** different and I'm going in a totally new direction. Just…trust me, all right? HAVE FAITH. It just starts here. Love you.**

**Also, I'm trying to work on my writing style, not just **_**what**_** I write. So if it seems a little different, that's why.**

**Oh, and reviews would also be splendid. Tell me what you think/how I did/rant/complain/something.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh hai**

**Chapter 2**

He was awake, yet he kept his eyes closed, listening to the doctors tell Pepper about his condition and the procedures they had taken – they'd pumped his stomach and now, there was medically no reason to keep him there. And best of all, since the entire event had taken place so early in the morning, he could be easily discharged without the media catching wind of it. Tony was at least grateful for that.

Still, he refused to open his eyes and deal with reality. The uncomfortable truth that Pepper had seen him last night in that…situation. He hated that pure fear and worry he had seen on her face just hours ago. It terrified him, and it made him feel like a monster. He had done that to her.

Of course, that had been a few hours ago. When he woke up now, she would be angry. Angry and aggravated that he hadn't been careful and that he'd scared her like that. And she had the right to be so angry.

What excuse did he have to give anyway? Nothing decent enough. Nothing except that he just wanted it to stop hurting.

_I just wanted it to stop hurting. Is that so bad?_

It was his fault – ending up in the hospital and scaring the hell out of one of the few people who actually cared about him. He could apologize, but what did that change?

* * *

Except for the few tears she had shed beside him in the workshop when she realized Tony had swallowed an entire bottle of prescription painkillers and sleeping pills, Pepper hadn't cried at all. Instead, she remained in the waiting room, her elbows resting on her knees and her hand forming a fist under her chin as she tried to reason what she had just seen.

She didn't know how.

She had seen Tony vulnerable, drunk, even scared. She'd known the man for ten years and she didn't think it was possible for her to be surprised by anything he did. The last surprise had been Iron Man and she was sure nothing could beat that.

But she had just seen him lying on a couch, half dead – and empty prescription bottles beside him.

Yet, despite the evidence in front of her, she couldn't help but think to herself, _No. It's not that. It can't be_. Not Tony Stark – Tony loved life, all too much in her opinion. The Tony she knew would never…

But there he was. And she knew what she saw. Part of her didn't want to believe it. But still, somewhere tugging at the back of her mind, a single question threatened to take hold.

_What did I miss_?

Things like this didn't just appear out of nowhere – there had to be a reason. And whatever the reason, she had missed it. Was it Afghanistan? Those three months he had disappeared had scared the hell out of her, but he had never talked about what he had gone through and what had happened. No one knew anything about Afghanistan. What monsters did he try to leave behind in that cave? What was he trying so hard to forget?

It had to be Afghanistan – it was the only thing that had changed. And these last few weeks he had been so aloof, so distant from the real world. _Why_? What was plaguing his mind, forcing him into retreat? This wasn't the Tony she knew.

What was scaring him?

_What did I miss?_

Whatever the problem was, Pepper knew she should have noticed. The Pepper of six months ago would have. The Pepper of six years ago would have noticed – but for some reason, she hadn't. And this was the result.

"You're not his babysitter," a voice from behind said, as if reading her mind. She smiled haphazardly, recognizing her boyfriend's voice and waited for him to come around and sit beside her.

She looked at him for a while, trying not to look as scared as she felt. "I know I'm not his babysitter," she told him. "But I keep thinking…" she looked away. _How do I make him understand?_ "I missed something, Robert. He's been giving me hints, he's tried to tell me but I ignored him. And now-" She waved her hand towards his room and sighed sadly.

"You can't blame yourself for this," Robert told her.

Pepper shook her head, looking down at the floor. "Yes, I can," she insisted with certainty.

"No, you can't-"

"You don't understand, Robert," Pepper said suddenly, facing him again. "I've worked for him for ten years – I can tell he's in a bad mood because he doesn't even _look_ at the Hot Rod in his workshop, I know to give him coffee only _after_ meetings with board, the press or with Management. Any other meeting – he's fine with a Coke. He hates Starbucks and green tea, he's allergic to hydrocortisone, he thinks glass paperweights are an abomination and he _hates_ it when people hand him things. Yet, somehow I managed to miss the fact, that he was honestly considering taking his own life..."

Robert didn't say anything and Pepper took in a shaky breath as she sat on her hand and tapped her foot anxiously, looking straight ahead but focusing on nothing. "Robert…I should have noticed. And I did. But I didn't do anything. So it's my fault."

He said nothing at first, waiting for her to cool down. Then he asked, "What was there to notice?"

"Robert, I told you-"

"No – _tell_ me what you noticed. Talk about it."

Pepper sighed, her bottom lip curling. "He doesn't talk much anymore. He used to tell me everything and what he didn't tell me he at least dropped a few hints so I could catch on. But he's been by himself for a while. Like he's…running. I just thought he needed time. You know, after Afghanistan and Iron Man – I just thought he needed space. But now…" she shrugged slightly. "There was something else, I guess."

Robert just watched her for a moment, not sure what to feel. And he didn't realize the words had come out before he could stop them.

"Why do you care so much?" he asked.

Pepper looked exasperated, as if she couldn't believe what he was asking now. "Are you serious?"

Robert shook his head. "Never mind."

"No, Robert – I've worked for him for over a decade. He's not _just_ my boss."

"Oh, so your best friends now?"

Pepper glared at him. "We're there for each other. When it counts. And I wasn't there for _him_. That's why it hurts. And _that's_ why I care."

The two were silent for a moment and Robert twisted his lip to the side, quite aware of how badly he had just screwed up. "Virginia, I-"

"Robert, I'm not in the mood right now," she said coldly.

He stood up, understanding. He had to get to work. "I'll call you, alright?"

Still, Pepper said nothing, refusing to look at him and watch him leave. He kissed her cheek but she refused to respond and he left her, promising himself to talk to her later.

But Pepper had already dropped the entire subject, choosing to forget him; at least for now. Right now, her mind was preoccupied, trying to understand how she could have possibly missed something like this. When her parents had died, Tony was there, understanding her pain. When her last boyfriend had cheated on her, Tony had opened up her guest room for the week. They _were_ there for each other and they _were_ friends.

So how did she miss this?

Tears flowed for the second time that day.

* * *

The second time he woke up, Pepper was in the room and she had her back to him. Her Blackberry was held up to her ear. "Yes, Mr. Stark will be unavailable throughout the rest of this week. Next week Thursday works just fine…of course, I'll let him know. Thank you very much…"

She sounded hoarse and though she hid it well, Tony could tell she had either been crying, or was trying hard not to. _That's my fault. I did that_.

Still, a part of him tried to rationalize in order to lift the blame that fell on his shoulders. _She wasn't supposed to be there. Why was there? At four in the morning? What made her show up so late?_

_No. This isn't because of her. This is because of me. Because I couldn't handle it._

He hated that she had seen him like that – that's what was really devouring him now. He hated that at his absolute worst and most vulnerable, she had been there to witness it. Tony knew she would never use that night against him but it pained him nevertheless.

He was embarrassed.

A stupid emotion for something as grave and serious as last night, but that's what he felt. And he was ashamed that he felt embarrassed.

Then, another idea, took hold of him, and his embarrassment was abandoned.

She'd be angry at him, he suddenly remembered. Last night, she was scared. But hours had passed between then and now and she had probably taken the time to go through what she had seen and what had happened. And knowing his Pepper Potts, she would be frustrated and angry – angry that he hadn't called her sooner, angry that he had inconvenienced so many people because he was being stupid. He'd explain that he hadn't done it on purpose – that it was an accident. And her anger would subside as she understood, but he wasn't entirely fond of the initial anger that he was about to face.

He shifted in his bed and as he did, Pepper spun around to face him. Tony saw her red eyes and immediately cringed. _I did that_.

But she wasn't angry. Instead, she quickly walked up to him and hugged him.

_Something is wrong_. That was his first thought. And when she finally let go, he searched her eyes for the anger he expected. He couldn't handle surprises – not now at least.

"Hey, Tony," she said, trying to smile reassuringly. It wasn't working.

He blinked once, not sure what to say. Then, finally, he decided on, "Uh…hi…"

She smiled again, a real one this time. Still, he didn't understand. She was trying to look reassuring and he saw the relief in her eyes. Relief that he was fine? He didn't understand.

Why was it so difficult to just understand?

No, that look in her eyes was not solely relief. There was something else within her beautiful eyes like the sea – churning and always moving, masking the truths that could be found if he dove further. And what he saw beneath the waves of relief, were the churning waters of pity and fear. But absolutely no sense or whisper of disappointment; just pity – pure and hopeless pity.

But why show sympathy? There was no reason for her to be sympathetic, at least not quite yet. For all she knew, he had overdosed on drugs as opposed to alcohol – she was supposed to be confused, angry and disappointed. Shocked, maybe. Pity suggested that though she cared, she didn't know what else to do. Pity suggested that she had lost hope or wasn't sure where to replenish her dwindling supply.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, genuinely fearful. Yes – fearful. "Do you feel alright?"

Tony was still dazed, hastily attempting to connect the dots to a very fuzzy painting. "I'm—fine…I think, I'm…"

When he tapered off, she simply nodded, as if to reassure him that he didn't have to explain himself. "You'll be fine, alright? We'll…we'll figure this out and you'll be fine, okay?"

The meaning behind her words suddenly crashed upon him, like waves on a beach. He had been blessed with knowledge behind the truth – or the truth _she_ had created. What she truly meant – and now he finally understood.

She thought he had tried to kill himself.

He found himself speechless, immediately shocked and stunned into silence. And as she attempted to reassure him that all would be well, he continued to attempt to simply _understand_. Of course, now that he was in his right mind and could reflect on what had happened, he understood that it most certainly _looked_ like attempted suicide. Empty prescription bottles around him, one of which were sleeping pills…the evidence was definitely present.

But this was also Pepper Potts – _his_ Pepper Potts; the woman who had worked for him for over ten years. And for some reason she had thought he would honestly try to kill himself.

Didn't she know him? Had the last decade meant nothing? Had she learned nothing about him whatsoever?

Why would she think that? Tony Stark was many things but he loved life – almost to a dangerous level, and if she had learned nothing, she should at least know that Tony definitely believed that since he could only live once, he might as well live long and party hard – before Afghanistan, at least.

But now he had the Iron Man suits; a duty and a calling. Why would he give it up just like that? And for what? Why?

What would make her think _suicide_?

And as these thoughts flooded his mind, he was suddenly filled with uncontrollable rage; rage towards a pain that was preventing him from living – from thinking even. A rage directed towards a particular Pepper Potts whom he was sure didn't know him at all.

"You'll be fine…" she repeated.

He was suddenly filled with disgust – and he wasn't sure who was the object of this disgust. Was he repulsed with Pepper who seemed to not know him after all? Or was he repulsed with himself – who had _swallowed_ the pills and made the situation look like what it was not?

"Stop it," he suddenly murmured angrily. He wasn't even aware the words had left his lips.

Pepper hesitated, startled for a brief moment. "What?"

"Stop consistently repeating yourself and-"

Where was this coming from? "Tony, I-"

"Pepper," he said suddenly, in all seriousness, looking into her eyes. "Pepper, I didn't…I didn't try to…"

She knew what he was going to say – the claim he was about to maintain. _Tony, don't do this. Not now. We can talk later, we shouldn't talk about this now, you just woke up…_

"Tony, maybe-"

As soon as she uttered those two words, he knew he had lost. She had already formed her truth. And nothing would change her mind now – her stubbornness was annoying, but he couldn't help but admire it. But now, he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and scream. How could she think that? He trusted her – he trusted her to know him better than anyone else. And if she thought this, whom could he trust?

"You don't…think I did it on _purpose_, do you?" Tony checked. He had to check. Even now, so late in the game, he couldn't help but grant her the benefit of the doubt.

She sighed sadly and Tony was filled once more with rage – disappointment, anger, aggravation, sadness.

"Tony, maybe we should talk-"

"Why would you think that?" Tony yelled suddenly – a sound she almost never heard. When Tony was angry, he remained composed, speaking through tight lips and refusing to make eye contact – as if he hadn't the time to deal with you. But this obvious display of anger was different. And it frightened her.

"We can talk about it later-"

"What?" he exclaimed suddenly, as if he couldn't believer his ears. "What – no! No, we're going to talk about this now-!"

"Tony, stop," she begged, fearfully. She wasn't used to seeing him like this – so wound up. And it terrified her. Was this proof that she was right? Was he simply in denial?

Tony finally obliged and said nothing. Instead, he turned away from her, looking straight ahead towards the transparent doors. The next words he uttered were said in a tone Pepper could finally recognize – in a quiet hush through tightly drawn lips.

"You can leave now," he told her simply.

His eyes were dark – _black_ even, and she found it impossible to read them. But despite her hurt, she did leave, because she thought it was best; at least for now. She said nothing as she turned her back to him and left.

* * *

Happy drove the pair home just a few hours later. Naturally, he wanted to ask why he was picking them up from the hospital and not anywhere else but just as Pepper and Tony stepped into the back of the car, he could immediately sense the dense tension that filled the car.

Perfect.

"Pepper, why did you cancel the meeting at four tomorrow?" he had asked in that same yet terrifying hushed tone.

"I…cancelled everything for this week," she told him, as if that was reason enough.

"That's ridiculous, there's no reason for that."

"Tony-"

"Fix it," he demanded. And that was the end of the discussion.

But it wasn't for Pepper. She was growing frustrated and exasperated – perhaps she should have been more understanding or aware that maybe all he needed now was space, or at the very least, time. But she wasn't one to stand by on the sidelines and do absolutely nothing.

So instead she leaned toward him and angrily muttered, "Tony, what did you honestly expect me to think? Put yourself in my shoes and think, if you had seen _me_ like that, what would you have thought? What did you expect me to do?"

_I would have thought there was something I didn't know. Because even though I never know what day of the week it is or what time my next meeting is, I know _you_. And I know what you can, could and never would do. And I wouldn't accept any answer until I knew everything that had happened first. _

At least, that's what he liked to believe.

_I would have thought I missed something. I would have thought it was my fault because I never pay attention. I never know when my next meeting is and it took me three days to realize you had replaced the furniture in the living room. And even though I think I know you and can tell just by looking at you when you're angry, or frustrated, or disappointed, I would think that I had missed something. And that it was somehow my fault._

That was the truth. So why did he expect so much more from her? Simply because she was Pepper Potts – the one person he knew he could trust with anything?

But what had happened last night and what she had seen, or thought she had seen – they had crossed a new line into unknown territory. Maybe he needed to understand with _her_.

He didn't answer her question until they had arrived at the Stark mansion.

"I expected you to talk to me first before you jumped to conclusion," he answered honestly.

Pepper hadn't expected a true answer and was surprised to discover her simple question had been in his mind during the entire car ride. She dropped her purse on the table and looked at him, transparent honesty in her eyes. "Tony," she called and he stopped moving to look at her.

"So tell me," she said. "Tell me what happened."

They were finally getting somewhere – actually _talking_ instead of arguing and ignoring each other. Maybe they could get to the bottom of this and figure out what had happened. Together.

But instead of answering her this time, he simply shook his head. "No." And he turned to make his way back down to the shop.

"Why, not? Why won't you tell me?" _Why is he doing this? What does he expect me to think now?_

Halfway down the stairs, he stopped and faced her. "I can't tell you," and she instantly recognized his sincerity.

She hadn't expected that answer – maybe the truth or a lie or a mixture of the two. But not this. Not blatant reluctance.

What was he trying to hide?

She could have followed him downstairs – pursued him and forced the truth out of him. But instead, she chose to accept that there were some boundaries friendship dare not cross.

So she left.

**Thanks for reading and review please. :) **

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is late. I apologize – life has been crazy and I've been feeling terrible lately. Just started feeling better so I decided to go ahead and write! Hope you enjoy this though!**

**Chapter 3**

"It's like I don't know him anymore," Pepper said as she put in her earrings. She ruffled her bangs, noting just how desperately she was in need of a haircut.

"Uh huh," her boyfriend hummed behind as he fixed his tie, simultaneously searching the room for his left shoe.

"It just makes things even more awkward than they already are. Well…things were _already_ significantly awkward but in some sort of…" she paused, attempting to arrange the words in her head in a coherent manner. "I guess a strange…delicate balance that we both managed to deal with over the course of ten years. But this…this is just-" Pepper stopped when she noticed she wasn't receiving some sort of reply and watched him carefully from the dresser mirror.

Pepper eyed him, trying not to smirk at his predicament, as she applied the rest of her make up. "Your shoe is under the bed," she finally told him.

"I already checked-"

She laughed, closed the cap of her lip gloss and looked over her right shoulder. "Under _my_ side of the bed," she corrected with a raised eyebrow.

Robert glanced at her skeptically for a minute, but casually made his way towards her side of the bed. He stuck his foot under the bed and quickly kicked his shoe out into the open. This time, the expression upon Robert's face changed slightly and he tilted his head to the side before eyeing Pepper questioningly.

Pepper shrugged, as if innocent. "Don't ask me how it got there," she hummed. "I just know things."

Robert laughed once and checked his watch. "Yeah, well I've got to head out in about five. Do you want me to drop you off at Tony's or are you alright?"

Pepper rolled her eyes, having been reminded that she was supposed to be heading to _work_. With _Tony_.

"Come on, it can't be that bad," Robert assured her.

"You're right, it's not. It's _scary_," she corrected as she grabbed her purse. She shrugged once, looking at him. "I don't even know what to say to him. And it's weird. I've practically been living with him for the last decade."

"I'm sorry, what?" Robert asked sarcastically. However, a hint of truth escaped him and Pepper smirked.

She kissed his cheek. "Jealous, already, are we?" she asked him.

"Never," Robert denied, playing along fluidly.

She smiled and followed him out the door. But that didn't mean she hadn't quietly filed away this new observance – Robert didn't like it when she brought up Tony. He didn't like it at all. And after their last conversation about him, she had been careful to keep the her boss's name out of casual conversation. The problem was, Tony didn't belong in this new life she was creating for herself. Especially now.

There hadn't been a slight hint of exaggeration when she had tried to explain the "Tony Situation" to Robert. In fact, Pepper hadn't released the full truth concerning what was happening behind closed Stark doors.

She had told Robert that being with him was scary simply because she didn't know how to behave around him. But the term 'scary' made the entire situation seem temporary – as if everything could change with just a snap of her fingers. The reality was that the entire situation was _terrifying_. There was a new innate fear she held when she entered the Stark mansion. And what was terrifying was his new form unpredictability – he was unpredictably predictable and not the other way around. So now, all of a sudden, everything about him suddenly seemed…_ordinary_.

Maybe she had expected some sort of psychological breakdown from him. After all, with the little information she knew, Pepper was still convinced he had attempted suicide. But _he_ didn't believe that – he seemed so sure, so certain that she had the entire story wrong. Yet, he refused to _explain_ what had happened to her. And she had chosen to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if she didn't think she should believe him.

So what was she expecting? That maybe she'd just walk into the room and he'd finally tell the truth and say what had happened? That time would yield healing and maybe they'd be able to get back to that strange boss-employee relationship that they were so used to by now?

After ten years with a spontaneous Tony Stark, she wasn't quite sure if she could handle the change.

And things _had_ changed. That strange boss-employee relationship they once had? Vanquished, almost overnight. Now it was just…strange. She did her job – sign this, attend that, you're needed at this meeting, I'll cover you for these ones, etc. But there was nothing beyond that. The playful banter was gone. His insistent whining had disappeared suddenly. He didn't smile. His eyes were always melancholy – darker than usual. He _was_ always down in the shop which could have been proof that Tony Stark was still there somewhere. But she could tell he was down there for different reasons. The shop was supposed to be for release – because he enjoyed it. But judging from the lack of enthusiasm in his eyes, she knew he was down there to escape; to keep his mind busy and occupied.

And, probably strangest of all…he was _nice_. Well, maybe "nice" wasn't the most appropriate term. "Nice" would involve enthusiasm and a modicum of happiness – neither of which he currently possessed. No, perhaps "civil" was more fitting. Civil and considerate, even. He didn't send her up and down to take care of something he should have dealt with three days ago, and she found herself making fewer calls to the members of the board in order to fabricate an excuse concerning why Tony didn't attend a meeting.

Yet, for some strange reason, he didn't seem to like it when she behaved that way towards him. When she was civil or considerate or offered to do something for him, he always had the same answer. He'd let her speak her mind and talk and then say, "You don't have to do that."

It was his quiet and polite way of telling him to back off. There was never a sense of anger in his voice, though. His eyes would just be downcast as he fiddled with something in front of him, his attention drafted away by some sort of machine and his mind preoccupied. But the words held the same meaning and connotation each time.

"You don't have to do that."

It meant so much more. I'm fine. Stop worrying about me. Don't look at me like that.

Leave me alone.

It was his frustration and sadness, seeping out of him. Almost as if he wanted to talk about it – but for some reason, couldn't.

Why can't he talk about it?

Robert was trying to tell her something about a brother he had in Italy but she wasn't paying attention. Only nodding occasionally and humming every now and then. Her mind was really focused on her destination – and how she was going to deal with it for the next eight or so hours.

It wasn't until she finally stepped out of the car that she was forced to really pay attention.

"So tonight?"

"What's tonight?" Pepper asked, confused.

"Dinner at _La Cucina_," Robert asked, eyeing her. "Tonight, right?"

Oh, that's what he'd been talking about. "Oh – yeah, right, of course," Pepper quickly saved. "That's fine."

Robert sighed, tilting his head to the side for a moment, exasperated. "Pepper…"

"I'm fine, I swear-"

"Stop worrying about him," Robert interrupted. "He'll be fine, he's a big boy, I'm sure he can handle himself."

_That's what everyone thinks_, Pepper thought to herself. But she knew him. And she knew that despite the façade he spent his entire life carefully pinning up, he _wasn't_ always fine.

But she knew Robert didn't want to hear that. Or perhaps, more importantly, she knew Robert didn't care.

"Yeah," Pepper said instead as she closed the car door behind her and made her way towards the Stark mansion.

* * *

As soon as Tony heard the front door open, he made a mental note to keep in mind how long it took her to make it down to the shop. Any other day, or perhaps, more specifically, two weeks ago, she would have been downstairs immediately. After all, where else would he be? But ever since that day she had found him, the time it took her to gather the courage to come downstairs slowly increased. As of yesterday, it had taken her nearly half an hour to make it downstairs.

It wasn't her fault – he was well aware of that. She was nervous – unsure how to act, how to behave around him, what to say… It was as if she was learning how to interact with a completely different person.

_Because she doesn't trust me_, he told himself. _She doesn't trust me_.

And was that really her fault? She had asked him to explain what had happened and he hadn't. She wanted to trust him and believe him, but he had chosen to keep it a secret. And she was falling back because of it.

_It's because _you_ don't trust her. That's why you won't just tell her. _You_ don't trust _her.

That wasn't true. She was probably the only one he could trust. Especially now. But he was making the active choice to say nothing – to _not_ tell her. So what else could that mean?

The light, continuous click of Pepper's heels brought him to the present and he directed the majority of his attention back to his hot rod, checking the time.

Fifteen minutes. It took her fifteen minutes to make it down to the shop. And Tony filed that piece of information in the back of his mind, along with the nine hundred and ninety nine other things he wanted to ignore.

But Pepper didn't see that. She saw progress, noticing something entirely different – he was working on the hot rod. _It's progress. He's getting better_.

She stopped suddenly, her eyebrows furrowing as she realized something much more important. "Why are you here?" she asked suddenly.

Tony glanced up. "Last time I checked, I think I lived here. But that's just a wild guess-"

"You're supposed to be in an R&D meeting in ten minutes," Pepper reminded him as she stepped closer, her frustration slowly elevating.

"I know that," Tony said with a roll of his eyes. "Give me _some_ credit."

"So why are you here?"

"You just _said_ it was in ten minutes."

"Okay, fine," Pepper said, choosing to deal with the issue at hand at a later time – perhaps in _five_ minutes. "While you're here I need you to sign off on-"

"Do you know what we need?" Tony suddenly announced, finally standing up.

Pepper's green eyes widened, disbelief shining through as she wrinkled her nose. "What?"

"Nutella," he announced as he left the shop, licking his fingers on his way out. It was then she noticed the empty bottle of Nutella just beside the hot rod.

"Did you just eat _all_ of-"

"And peanut butter-"

"We _have_ peanut butter, Tony."

Tony glanced back at her as he made his way upstairs, that know-it-all smile dancing on his lips. Pepper noticed it; she recognized it immediately. Was that Tony? The Tony she knew? She quickly looked down at the stack of papers in her hand, sorting through them mentally.

"Ms. Potts, I wasn't aware that this was also your house."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pepper asked, her eyes still downcast.

"You said 'we'," he pointed out. "As in _we_ have peanut butter here and not that _I_ have peanut butter."

Pepper stopped and looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing, realizing that she _had_ said that. _Shit_. "Tony, I practically live here."

"I mean, I'd love for you to move in," Tony teased as he raided the kitchen cabinets in search of Nutella. "But I don't think I'd be comfortable with taking our relationship to the next level."

"Oh, please," Pepper said with a roll of her eyes and she held up a sheet of paper and a pen for him. His knees were on the kitchen counter as he checked the upper level cabinets. Tony looked down at her, that ridiculous smile still plastered across his face. But rather than look at his smile, she searched his eyes for the truth. If the Tony she knew was really back and everything was the way it was, then his smile would reach his eyes and she would see the twinkle in them. Not the cold and calculating undertone that had suddenly taken over.

The cold and calculating undertone that she could see now.

Her heart fell a little, but she managed to keep the exasperated look upon her face, still playing along. Tony took the papers from her and signed them, using the cabinet ledge as a makeshift table.

Tony wasn't back. He was _trying_ to come back. The playful banter, meaningless teasing and ridiculous requests were there. But that was Tony purposefully putting them there. His heart was still plagued with secrets. Secrets he refused to share with her.

_You don't have to do this alone, Tony_, she wanted to tell him. _Whatever it is – the truth – you can tell me._

He handed the papers back and she took them, her eyes downcast. "If you don't want to go to your meeting I can go for you," she suggested as she made her way towards the kitchen table to sort out the remaining papers.

"What's the catch?" Tony asked.

"You have to get the Nutella yourself. _Or_, I can get the Nutella and _you_ could go to the meeting."

"That's not a fair arrangement."

She couldn't help but laugh lightly, despite the knowledge that this game they were playing was all a lie. "It's completely fair," she said. But her voice died off near the end as she a bright spot of orange caught the corner of her eye. She turned and saw a prescription bottle lying innocently on its side. She glanced at Tony and when she saw that he wasn't looking, picked it up gently to read the label.

_Eszopiclone_. Sleeping pills. Dated three days ago.

"What I don't understand is why you can't go to the meeting _and_ bring Nutella on your way back," Tony argued, his back to her.

"Because I don't want to do both," Pepper said, trying to keep her voice light, but her throat felt constricted. How many times had he gone to get a refill since that night a few weeks back? No, maybe she was just reading to far into this. Maybe he _was_ just tired. He was an insomniac – always had been. But she couldn't deny the fact that this was still different. Despite the insomnia, he never needed sleeping pills. And after what she had seen that night, with the empty prescription bottles surrounding her passed out and half unconscious boss…this was scaring her.

What wasn't he telling her?

"That's a terrible excuse," Tony said back jumping down from the ledge. Pepper jumped a little, startled by his sudden jump and in her haste, she dropped the prescription bottle and it came clattering down onto the marble floor. She quickly picked it up and placed it back on the table, biting her bottom lip nervously as Tony's eyes bore down on top of her.

The two of them were silent for a few tense moments.

_He's angry. I just crossed a line. I shouldn't have looked at it…maybe the pills are something I should have just ignored. It's not my business…_

_She doesn't trust me. She thinks I'm sneaking a shit load behind her back. She thinks I'm going to OD. She doesn't trust me._

Then, after those tense moments, he walked towards her, grabbed the orange, menacing bottle and threw it into a drawer. She watched him walk away with the papers he had to get signed, now suddenly determined.

Pepper sighed as he signed the papers on the kitchen counter. "Tony…"

"Done," he interrupted, walking away. Just like that. And she was left with a few pointless papers with his signature scrawled across them.

"Tony," she tried again, her voice cracking. This time, he turned to face her and she walked up to him until she was just a few feet away.

"You can talk to me," she told him simply. "If that's-"

"I'm fine," he said, about to walk away.

She stopped him. "No! No, you're not," she exclaimed and he immediately turned around again to face her. "Tony…I _want_ to believe you, and I want to think that the night I saw you with the pills was...just a mistake. And even if it was, there's still something wrong; something that you're not telling me. And I want to help."

"Ms. Potts, you could be of greater assistance if you spent your time focused on the job you were assigned because at this rate, you're going to be late to that meeting in five minutes." And with that simple answer, he turned and made his way back down the stairs, leaving only his cold words behind.

She remained at the top step for a full minute, completely unmoving and saying nothing. Finally, she marched out of the house, taking her purse and her keys. If that was what he wanted, then she'd do just that. Her job and _only _her job since, apparently, he didn't really need her.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew he didn't mean it. He was angry and defensive. But it didn't stop her from silently crying on her way out of the house – crying because she knew she was slowly losing her friend. Because despite anyway she tilted her head or squinted her eyes, that's who he was – her _friend_.

* * *

He shouldn't have said that. Even as he was walking down the stairs away from her – away from the one of the few people who really cared about him – he knew he had messed up. Big time. And there was no excuse for it. He had only attacked because he was defensive. And he was defensive because she had finally chosen to brush her fingers against a sensitive topic: _that night_.

Tony knew he could have explained – he had passed up dozens of opportunities to explain. He could tell her that he wasn't starting to feel the effects of being trapped in a cave for three months until now. That coming back and dealing with Stane and building the suits had taken up so much of his time, there had been _no_ time at all to contemplate what he had gone through. For the last few weeks he didn't need to remember what had happened because he was occupied with so much work. But now with everything over, it was all coming back. The memories, the emotions – all of it.

He could have told her about the tightening sensation in his chest he would get every time he splashed his face with water in the morning. As if someone was dunking his head into a vat of water all over again, drowning him. He could explain that the nightmares were coming in full force now, and that the sleeping pills took the edge off. He could tell her that he had to leave a light on when he decided to go bed. That when he really paid attention, the reactor felt _alive_. As if it was eating him from the inside. And that once in a while, it felt so alive it took over and attacked him – controlling him and sending memories flooding into his mind. Memories he wanted to forget. Tony knew it was ridiculous – the reactor was a machine he had invented and it wasn't the one putting memories into his head. But it didn't help if that was what it felt like.

He could explain what _really_ happened the night he had swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping and pain prescription pills. Maybe then, he could earn her trust.

She deserved to know. At the very least, he could apologize for what he had said.

"JARVIS, call Pepper," he demanded.

_You've reached Ms. Virginia Potts. I'm currently unavailable-_

Straight to voicemail – her phone was off. Tony checked the time and sighed to himself. The meeting he had sent her to had already started. In the heat of anger, he had missed his chance.

**I'll try and update a lot sooner. REAL ASAP. :) Don't forget to review! They will be greatly appreciated and they'll keep me motivated. :) And as always, concrit is ALWAYS welcome.**

**kthxbai**


	4. Chapter 4

**Freshman year of college? SUCCESSFULLY CONQUERED! :)**

**Chapter 4**

"_Those are my guns, how did they get my guns?"_

"_Do you understand me? Do as I do!_

"_He says, 'Welcome, Tony Stark, the greatest mass murderer in the history of America'…he is honored…he wants you to build the missile. The Jericho missile that you demonstrated…this one."_

_Tony glances at the picture of his own missile, then back at the expectant men. A sadistic smirk on their leader's face._

"_I refuse."_

_The smirk disappears._

And then he can't breathe. He's out in the open, in the confines of his home, but it doesn't keep the suffocating sensation at bay as the shower head's steady stream splashes around him and the steam surrounds him. He can't see past the steam that fogs up the doors and windows and he it feels as if he's there again, being pushed under water until his lungs are burning and his head is on fire.

He finds the latch on the shower door and leans against it, desperate to find some sort of escape, thinking that maybe if he escapes physically, his mind will follow. And just as the latch gives way, he crashes onto the tile floor below, the shower still running behind him while its steam trails steadily behind him.

Tony lifts himself up, still struggling to command his lungs to accept the air around him and as he does, he finds himself facing the mirror, staring at his own reflection – a version of himself, six months ago, being forced underwater. It's like watching a soap opera, and Tony reaches out to touch the screen, head buzzing and reeling. And just as he does, the glass in the mirror shatters along with the scene he continues to relive.

He retracts his hand quickly and feels the sticky moisture leaving his fingers before he sees the crimson. It should hurt, he knows it should, but his mind is still stuck in the underwater world he escaped six months ago. His heart pounds relentlessly within the confines of his chest and the dizziness, as well as the bubbling sensation in his brain and the burning in his lungs and nose are all overwhelming. And what's worse – it _hurts_. It hurts twenty times more than it should, and even in his state of delirium and hallucination, he knows that.

_It's not real…it's not real…_

But the repetition of the obvious doesn't stop the pain, or the illusion of pain. And he knows it will get worse well before it gets better. But in that time frame, he would have done something stupid – and he can't risk that.

By some miracle, he manages to make it out of the bathroom, his bloodstained hands leaving their mark as he leaves. Tony rests his good hand on the wall, leaning and shuffling towards the bedroom as the entire house spins around him. His breathing is improving and he notices that the further away he makes it from the bathroom, the easier it is for him to breathe properly. But as a result, he starts to notice the pain more and more, until his vision is scattered with black dots and he feels as if pins and needles are being stabbed throughout his entire body.

But he is sane, at least for the time being, and he needs to take advantage of that. Determined, Tony lets go of the wall beside him and for a terrifying moment, he is unable to remain steady on his own feet. But after a moment he presses forward, stumbling into the bedroom. He notices a pair of pajama bottoms on the floor in the middle of the room but as soon as he lets go of the bedroom door, he collapses.

* * *

"Alright, see – no, give me _that_!" Pepper squealed, grabbing the sheet of paper from Robert.

"See _that_," Robert said, pointing at that paper now in Pepper's possession. "Is an accurate depiction of a wormhole."

"No, it's not – Tony explained this to me, see _technically_ – this isn't right."

"That's a wormhole!"

"No," Pepper said slowly, smiling. "You can't draw it like this – this just looks like a dumbbell. And the way you drew it, it's in 2D."

"I'm not artist, Virginia – _imagine_ the third dimension."

Pepper shook her head emphatically. "Nope – a wormhole has four dimensions, since it's through a space-time continuum so it's impossible to draw it. JARVIS created a decent depiction but-"

"JARVIS?" Robert asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's, Tony's computer-"

"He _named_ his computer?"

"Well…it's Tony's software – believe me, if you're around it, you'd think it's human too. But that's not the point-"

"Even if the wormhole had sixteen dimensions, I'm right about the time travel thing, right?" Robert checked.

"Kind of…I don't know if it would work in sixteen dimensions but-"

"Ah ha!"

Pepper laughed as she attempted to draw a more three dimensional version of a wormhole. "This is the part I don't get – apparently one end is supposed to be moving faster than the other, which is how the whole time travel thing is supposed to work."

"But that means you can't control how far in the past or future you go, then. Right?"

Pepper paused, thinking for a moment.

Robert continued, "But that means, wormholes are useless, if you can't control where and when you're going?"

_Good point_. "Well…I think it was…" she stopped when she caught her boyfriend looking up at her unconvinced, eyebrow raised. He shook his head slightly.

Pepper laughed again and rested her head on his shoulder. "It made sense a few hours ago."

Robert kissed the side of her head. "Honey, you're not making much sense right now, you know that?"

"_You_ asked about them, remember?"

"I honestly haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about," Robert said nonchalantly just as he nested his face in the crook of her neck. Pepper turned slightly and kissed him, falling further and further into him, her hands reaching the side of his face.

Then her phone rang.

She stopped suddenly, eyeing her purse in the corner. _God damn it, Tony_.

"It might be-" Robert started.

"It's just him," Pepper interrupted, ignoring it all together. "And it's not important unless he calls three times." And with that, she kicked her ringing phone out of her mind completely.

* * *

He had to get rid of everything – now that he was in his right mind. It all had to go – all of it. As soon as he was back on his feet, he immediately opened the drawers in his dresser, desperately searching and successfully finding – painkillers, sleeping pills. Anything that could work.

There were four prescription bottles in his room alone and as soon as he found them, he made his way back towards the kitchen, growing accustomed to the spinning sensation that never ceased. He grabbed the sink's edge and quickly opened each bottle, emptying its contents into the sink disposal. He winced at the subsequent grinding that followed and his teeth clenched as he stumbled out of the kitchen.

The drowning sensation swept through him again and he collapsed once again on all fours, gasping for breath that he knew wasn't supposed to be difficult to obtain.

_It's not real, it's not real…_

He was at home – safe and alone. So why didn't it feel like that?

The suffocation was growing stronger and he gagged – he knew there was no reason for him to feel like this, to be gagging, but his mind was stuck six months in the past. And from past experiences, he had learned that the perfect solution was always a mixture of pain-relievers and sleeping pills. But what if he panicked and didn't measure the exact quantities? What if he gave himself too much again, like last time? He couldn't let Pepper see him like that again.

There were more bottles downstairs – a hidden stash of pills, but he wasn't sure if he could make it there now. And he knew that even if he did, he wouldn't be in his right mind anymore; the pain and the memories would have taken hold long by then and he'd crack. He wouldn't think and as a result, he'd wind up taking all of them. Like last time. And she would see.

He didn't want to die – he had no intention of ending his life. But when he was completely taken over until there was none of _him_ left…there was no way for him to know what he might or might not do.

Tony remained on the floor, his fists clenched tightly until they turned deathly white. He rested his head on his fists, desperately wanting to simply ride out of the pain. But after nearly a dozen similar attacks, he knew there was no "riding out" – this wasn't a wave that came and disappeared almost instantly. It was an entirely new state of being; his werewolf phase. And he never knew how long he'd be stuck.

Pepper trusted him – no, she _wanted_ to trust him.

He could tell her; he could call her and ask for help and –

Tony shook his head, trying to suppress the idea. _That's what she says now – but she has her own life and her own things to take care of. Like that stupid, jealous boyfriend of hers…_

Yeah, he knew about _him_. He knew quite a lot about _him_. It was one of the reasons he chose to never bring _him_ up. Tony also knew that if he called and she came – which she undoubtedly would – their relationship would suffer. And even though he wasn't a big fan of _him_, he couldn't do that to Pepper.

Besides, what could she do to help him? She couldn't take the pain away. No one could, despite how hard he closed his eyes and thought of his happy place.

The pills – he needed them.

_No, I don't…it's not real_, Tony tried to tell himself. _I need to get rid of them…before I do something stupid._

Tony raised his head and lifted himself up again. All he had to do was go downstairs – that's it. And he repeated his task over and over again in his mind as he shuffled towards the stairs.

_It's not real, it's not real…_

The stairs seemed to be moving beneath him and Tony held on tightly to the banister, his eyes bulging from their sockets. And on the very first step, Tony realized he had miscalculated, stepping just a few inches off the edge. He slipped, letting go of the banister and tumbled down the stairs, headfirst.

He landed on his side, his head buzzing and he immediately touched the side of his head with his palm.

_Sir, your vitals are—_

"Shut…up…" Tony managed to mumble as he drew back his hand. When he did, he immediately noticed the blood that was now on his palm as well as his fingertips. The dizziness intensified as blood dripped down the side of his head.

_Sir!_

"JARVIS…!" Tony warned, trying to get up. When that failed, he crawled towards the door and lifted himself up, tapping in his code. Once he was inside, he remained on the floor, resting his head on his right knee.

_It's not real, it's not real…_

"_Shit_…" Tony muttered, breathing heavily. He didn't want to get up anymore. He was tired now, and the last thing he wanted to do was look for prescription bottles. Besides…he'd need them eventually...when the pain grew to be too much.

_It's not real, remember…._

Yes, it was. The pain was very real. And when it became too much, he knew how to fix it.

What was he thinking earlier – throwing all of it out? He would need it soon.

_Sir, I'm contacting Ms. Potts._

"No…stop…" Tony murmured, wincing. "Stupid…"

* * *

Pepper had long passed frustration by the time her phone rang for the third time in less than two minutes.

"Goddamn it, Tony, it's two in the morning!" Pepper screeched angrily.

_I apologize for the inconvenience, Ms. Potts._

"JARVIS?" Pepper immediately changed her tone. When JARVIS called, it was never good news.

"Is that JARVIS?" Robert asked, piping up suddenly. So this was the software Pepper had been talking about. "I want to talk to him!" Robert pleaded childishly, holding out his hand desperately.

Pepper left the bed, standing up quickly and remaining out of Robert's reach. Robert pouted for a moment. "At least put him on speaker," he pleaded.

"What happened?" Pepper asked JARVIS, ignoring her boyfriend's unimportant requests.

_It's Mr. Stark, Ms. Potts. His vitals are acting up again and they are considerably worse than the last time._

"Worse than last time?" Pepper checked, already looking for something suitable to wear. "When I found him?"

_No – his last attack was approximately three and a half days ago._

Pepper stopped for a moment, freezing. For a few seconds, she remained deathly still as the meaning behind JARVIS's words sunk deeper into her core.

"Virginia?" Robert called out, growing worried.

_Ms. Potts?_

She hesitated and turned around to look at her boyfriend. Maybe she was hoping to find some sort of reassuring look in his eyes, but he looked just as worried as she felt. "How many times has…this happened to him since his trip to the hospital, JARVIS?" She asked quietly, still struck by surprise.

_Four times included tonight's bout, Ms. Potts._

"_JARVIS….shut…up!_" someone muttered on the other line.

"Tony, is that you?" Pepper called into the receiver, gripping her phone.

"I'm fine….Pepper, fine…"

He was wheezing and struggling for breath, and Pepper wasn't so easily fooled.

_Sir, you're bleeding. And you just fell down the stairs._

"I'm fine-"

"What?" Pepper gasped. And suddenly, just like that, Pepper lost her sympathetic and worried tone. Her eyebrows furrowed and she sighed angrily. "You idiot," she spat. And without waiting for either Tony or JARVIS's reply, she hung up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

"You're wearing _that_?" Robert asked, raising an eyebrow. He wasn't angry in the least, Pepper could tell from his still playful and naturally inquisitive tone. But she wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"Robert, I have to go-"

"No shit," he replied.

She looked at him, a pleading expression upon her face. She walked back to the bed and sat down, if only for a few seconds. She sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, Robert, but I have to-"

"It's not your fault," he reassured her, resting his hand on her arm. "It's fine…I get it."

No, he didn't. He was just putting on a brave face for her, trying to hide how pissed off he was at this Tony character who saw his girlfriend more often than he did.

She wanted to say something to Robert assure him that he was still first in her life, but she wasn't ready to bring up a discussion she wasn't to interested in having. She nodded once, stumbling a little. But rather than make sure things ended well that night, she stood up and grabbed her purse and left his apartment.

* * *

The first thing she heard when she walked into the house was the water running in the bathroom. She assumed the worst and immediately ran inside, only to find it empty. Her panic slowly waning, she turned off the shower.

"Tony!" she called out. But before she left the bathroom, she noticed her reflection in the mirror and instinctively spun around.

The glass was shattered.

She frowned, her mouth agape as she slowly walked up to her cracked reflection that now resembled a spider web. Very carefully, she placed her finger on one of the mirror fragments and traced it to the center. It was there that she noticed the crimson red stain that had dripped down towards the sink. Her heart rate accelerating, she faced the door and noticed the same stain on the doorknob.

"Tony!" she called out, a little more desperately as she left the bathroom quickly making her way down to the shop. He was there, just on the other side of the door, resting his head on his right knee with his left leg outstretched.

"Tony, look at me, I'm here…" Pepper assured him, bending down to reach him. He looked up slowly, his eyes glossed over. But as soon as he made eye contact with her, he panicked, shaking his head as he eyes rolled around lazily in their sockets. "No…" he muttered. "No, you're not supposed to be here-"

She was suddenly angry again. "You stupid, idiot-" she stopped when she saw the gash on the side of his head and immediately, she remembered the bathroom. She grabbed his hand and cringed when she saw the sharp cuts along his four fingers. "Jesus, Tony…"

But he shook his head. "I'm fine…" He laughed once, disheartened. "What…I don't look fine?" he joked. Even now – still joking. "You worry too much…"

_You idiot_, Pepper repeated in the back of her mind. He was shaking and a cold sweat covered his entire body. "No, Tony, you're hurt…" she sighed. "I'll be right back, alright?"

Tony didn't really see her leave – he was too out of it to really process the event. But he was aware that she was gone. And when she left, he seized his opportunity and got on his own two feet, making his way towards his desk before the drowning sensation took over again. That seemed to be the demon plaguing him this time – drowning. But for some reason, it was just as painful as the others.

Once Pepper was back inside the workshop with a first aid kit and bandages, it didn't take long to find him again – the rattling was enough of a hint. She followed the sound and found him sitting on the floor by his desk, struggling to open a prescription bottle.

"Tony, no!" Pepper warned, approaching hysteria. Before he could even turn to face her, she was next to him; and she grabbed the bottle from his hands, eyes wide with fear.

His eyes were wide too, but for entirely different reasons: despair, frustration, and anger. And as those emotions surfaced, so did that terrible feeling of drowning. "Pepper, I just-"

"Tony…" she warned him carefully.

"It hurts!" he yelled suddenly, _angrily_. And it took everything in her being to not fear him at that very moment.

_This is Tony_, she told himself. "Then I'll wrap it up and it'll be fine and-"

"No!" he yelled again, but less forcefully. "No, it's not-" He shook his head and blinked, as if to focus his eyes. He tried to slow down his breathing as he felt the water rise towards his nose and reflexively, his breaths deepened. He closed his eyes just as the water rose over his head and swept over him and as soon as it did, he was lost.

He panicked – his heart pounded, his lungs burned and his brain buzzed. He was gone – he was there again, being dunked into the pool of water until he agreed to build their missile.

_It's not real, it's not real…_

"Tony!"

His name brought him back to the present and almost instantly; the rising water fell back towards the darker recesses of his mind. When he opened his eyes, he saw Pepper next to him, wrapping up his hurt hand wordlessly. His eyes focused and he watched her, exhausted. Still, she refused to meet his eyes as she patched him up.

Once she was finished, she looked at him and for a moment, he was worried about what he would find in her eyes – fear? Uneasiness? Horror? But instead, he saw the worried eyes of his assistant. And even though he didn't like seeing that worry, it was far better than any of the other options.

Pepper couldn't remove the image of Tony she had just seen, everything finally falling into place, all of it making sense. She thought he had tried to kill himself a few weeks ago but he was just trying to stop _this_ from happening. He just wanted it to stop hurting.

She dried his face with a washcloth, avoiding the gash on the side of his head that she had just cleaned.

He flinched at first and Pepper withdrew as soon as he did. Tony looked away for a moment, not sure where to rest his eyes and Pepper continued silently.

It was Tony who broke the silence first. "It's not usually like that," he finally told her, eyes downcast. "That's the first time since…"

"It's ok," she told him. "You don't need to say anything now. It's fine."

He laughed dryly. "You wanted to know."

She shook her head. "I just didn't want it to be what I thought it was."

"No," he said instead. "It's worse."

Pepper shook her head again. "Nothing's worse than what I thought. At least you're dealing with it and not giving up."

"Pepper," Tony said, taking her hand away from his face. "This is me giving up. This is me hoping that maybe I can just ride it out for as long as it might last and then move on."

"That's not giving up," she told him.

Tony nodded, frowning just slightly. He sighed and rolled his eyes, hanging on to his desk as support as he stood up.

Pepper stood as well. "At least…see someone. A doctor or-"

Tony laughed sarcastically and looked at her simply. "No way." He took a step and as soon as he did, his knees buckled and held on to the desk again. Pepper grabbed his free arm, silently panicking and desperate to clock her boss in the head for his stubbornness.

When he was stable, he looked down at her. "This does _not_ prove your point," he quickly added.

She wanted to argue but she just nodded. "Okay, Tony," she said, exasperated. She helped lead him towards the couch and once he was seated, she sat next to him, absolutely silent.

Tony sighed – he could read this woman like a book. "I hate doctors," he said.

Pepper didn't say anything at first. But after a few moments, she finally added, "I know."

"You don't need to worry about me. I can handle it," he tried to tell her.

She closed her eyes, counting backwards from five. "Tony, no one should be forced to deal with something like this alone."

"Yeah, well, I don't have much of a choice, now do I?" he said spitefully.

Turning to face him, she said, "You can tell _me_. You know that."

He _did_ know that. So why was he so desperate to keep it all a secret? To share it with no one? "You have your own life. You're not my babysitter," he said callously.

"Could've fooled me," Pepper answered swiftly.

Tony laughed and looked at her – _honestly_ laughed, complete with a smile that reached his eyes. Pepper's heart swelled at this instantaneous return of her boss and looked away, finally content. But when she looked back, his smile had disappeared and instead, he was staring straight ahead, deep in thought. Pepper's small smile also disappeared but the hope rising within her refused to die down.

"They wanted me to build the Jericho missile," Tony said suddenly, still staring straight ahead. "And I said no…"

He could stop here. He could change his mind and pretend that was it. But if he said anymore, then there was no turning back – Pepper would know. And she'd need to know everything from this point forward, all of the memories he had failed to suppress, every single one that rose up again.

Tony looked at her. She deserved to know. She wanted to _help_. He looked away again.

"So they buried my head under a foot of water until I changed my mind."

There. He said it.

It sounded so insignificant now – so they had attempted to drown him. _Big deal._ He should have been able to handle it. Why couldn't he handle it? "It's not a big deal..." he tried to amend. "But when I remember it's like it's happening all over again and I-"

"It _is_ a big deal, Tony," she told him, silently wishing a thousand horrible deaths to the men who did this to him.

He nodded, obviously unconvinced. "So now what, Dr. Potts?"

Pepper stood up and for a moment, Tony thought that was it. _Now she goes home, that's what._

"Now I go make breakfast," she said instead.

"At two in the morning?" Tony checked.

"Did you eat dinner?" Pepper retorted.

Tony hesitated. "No."

"Then breakfast it is."

**Super long chapter due to the wait. No exams, no finals and no studying = hopefully faster updates. :)**

**Leave your mark on the review page por favor! Grazie. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The first thing Pepper noticed when she was finally dragged into the conscious world was that the real world was _freezing_. It was never this cold in her apartment – or at Robert's.

No, not Robert's apartment.

The events from the previous night came flooding into her mind – Tony, the shaking, the pain - _that's_ what had happened.

And as she remembered, she started to ask herself another question, _Where exactly am I now?_

She opened her eyes slowly, immediately noticing that she couldn't see anything – nothing except for the bright blue light from Tony's…

Oh, _shit._

Her eyes widened as she realized where she was. She was _on top_ of him.

Well, not entirely. But she might as well have been. She was right next to him with her face buried in his chest and her arms…where the hell were her arms?

_Shit_. That was the first word that popped into Pepper's head once she realized exactly where her arms were – one was folded underneath her head fast asleep while the other was wrapped around his waist, pulling him even closer. _Shit, shit, shit_. Despite the numbness in her arm, she pulled herself back a little, trying to escape without waking him up. No doubt, he'd have a whole list of excellent comments if he found out about all of this. Still, despite the obvious indecency of the entire situation, she couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked asleep. And her head bent to the side as she watched him – his mouth was open slightly and he snored ever so lightly. It was Tony _resting_, the only time his brain ever chose to shut down.

_Stop it, Virginia_, Pepper warned herself and she forced herself to focus on anything _except_ her boss's sleeping. She needed to get up. Pepper slipped her left arm away from his waist and placed her other arm underneath her as she shifted, but as soon as she did, Tony shifted as well. His eyes cracked open slightly and Pepper held her breath, expecting some sort of snarky remark. But instead, his eyes just closed again and he closed his mouth completely, ready to sleep again.

_Thank God_, Pepper thought to herself. And she shifted again, trying to get up. And as she backed up, she noticed a relief of pressure on her abdomen. Something had been pressing against her stomach earlier.

"Sorry," Tony muttered, still refusing to open his eyes.

Pepper looked down at him, silently wishing she could disappear. He was awake? "It's…wait, why are you sorry?" she asked, suddenly confused.

He winced, as if unwilling to explain himself. "It's…the morning," he muttered back.

She frowned at him, not following his thought process. But when she finally moved again, and the pressure on her stomach shifted again, she realized _exactly_ what he was talking about.

Pepper sighed and closed her eyes, mostly to keep herself from looking down. "Goddamn it, Tony…"

Tony opened his eyes immediately. "No, don't curse!" he quickly interrupted. He sat up on his elbows with the most serious expression Pepper had ever seen on his face. "Dummy's just a child."

"Jesus Christ," Pepper huffed, getting up. Pepper wasn't sure which was more awkward – the situation she was in or the fact that Tony obviously couldn't give a damn about it. He simply grumbled something and turned to face the other direction.

"JARVIS, what time is it?" Pepper asked.

_10:23, Ms. Potts._

"Shit!" Pepper exclaimed and quickly turned around, looking for her purse.

"You cursed again," Tony whined back.

"We have a meeting in an hour and…I need to call Robert-"

Tony didn't mean to groan, but he did – obnoxiously. _Him._

But Pepper thought he had groaned because of their upcoming meeting. "You have to get ready, get up—and," she sighed: mostly at the tent in his pants. "Can you please just cover up!" She finally added, tossing him a pillow.

Tony frowned childishly; ignoring the pillow she had thrown him. "Well, if you don't like it, then don't look," he pouted.

Pepper laughed dryly, picking up one of the blankets from the floor. She turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised skeptically. "Don't flatter yourself."

"I believe you're providing the flattery all by yourself, Ms. Potts."

She rolled her eyes and turned around, her back facing him in her attempt to conveniently hide her flushed face. _This is so inappropriate._ "Coffee, then?" she asked. But rather than wait for his answer, she left the room and made her way towards the kitchen.

Once she had left, he collapsed back on the blankets underneath him and commenced snoring. _Every goddamn morning…_

* * *

Pepper had half an hour to take a shower, get dressed and make it to the meeting. She knew calling her boyfriend should be somewhere in that list but she had quickly made the decision to prolong that particular event until further notice. She knew Robert wouldn't give her a hard time, but she wasn't looking forward to facing those trusting and imploring, blue eyes of his. And she was dreading having to explain everything that had happened last night with Tony, primarily because she didn't want Robert to judge him.

She felt like a fool now that the truth was out in the open between her and Tony. The things Tony had gone through back in that cave…they _had_ affected him. When he had first come back he seemed unfazed. But those memories had stayed with him, and now they had come back from the dark recesses of his mind, haunting him.

It hurt her to see him like this, and even the memories she now held from last night frightened her. Her boss, her _friend_ – broken.

But he was still the same Tony she knew – like the unfortunate events from that morning, just moments ago. Only Tony could play it off the way he had. He wasn't gone, he wasn't missing. He was still _there_.

Pepper was ready for their meeting forty-five minutes later and by then, she had received her first call from Robert. Her phone vibrated lightly on the dresser and she made the instantaneous decision to deal with the inevitable. As she tied her hair back into a professional ponytail, she held up her Blackberry up to her ear with her shoulder.

"Hey, Robert," she answered evenly.

"Morning, Virginia," he greeted just as civilly. "How are you?"

"Don't you mean '_where'_ are you?" Pepper corrected. But as soon as she said it, she closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to get defensive."

"No, you were right – that's what I really meant to say. So one point for you."

Pepper laughed, calming down a bit.

"I'm guessing you crashed at Tony's, then."

Her smile immediately disappeared. "It was worse than I thought, that's all. He just needed someone, I'll talk to you later about-"

"You mean he needed help. And from the sound of it he _still_ needs help."

"Robert, can we please-"

"Virginia, this isn't over for him."

"Leave it, Robert," she demanded quickly. She didn't want to get angry or frustrated. Not this early and definitely not because of him.

Robert sighed, and the sound crackled lightly in her ear. "Virginia…I understand if you feel…protective of him-"

"Robert, I asked you to-"

"I don't want to see you get hurt, Virginia," he interrupted again. And for the first time, Pepper was silenced. "I love you too much to see you get hurt. _That's_ what's worrying me."

In that moment, all anger toward him disappeared and she wished she could see Robert's tender face. "I'll be fine, Robert. I promise."

"Alright," Robert whispered, and Pepper could immediately tell that a burden had been lifted now that he knew she understood what he was feeling: that he was simply worried for her. "I'll see you at lunch?"

"Hopefully," Pepper said as she picked up her purse, one hand at the doorknob.

"I love you."

A small smile found her lips. "I love you too," she answered before hanging up on him. It was then, as she hung up, that she heard a continuous crunching and grinding sound, no doubt coming from Tony's kitchen. She frowned and opened the door, wondering what on Earth Tony could possibly be doing to the blender that would cause it to make that god-awful sound. But when she opened the door, she found him standing at the sink, the blender tucked safely away in the corner, far from his reach. And next to him was a trash can.

Warily, Pepper walked towards him, curious as to what he was attempting destroy using the sink's disposal system. But when she saw him through an orange prescription bottle into the trash can, she stopped, immediately understanding.

She watched him empty each bottle from a safe distance, at least four of them. And when he turned his head to the side to kick the trash can back to its original location, she noticed his charcoal-like eyes and his lips set in a thin line.

Pepper sighed sadly, desperately wishing she could understand the turmoil going on behind those dark eyes. But instead of silently hoping, she walked up behind him, and rested her hand on his back so he would know she was there. He immediately turned to face her and she could see the impenetrable darkness in his eyes disappear, replaced by something softer.

But she chose not to look into his eyes and instead, her hand dropped down to his bandaged fingers instead. "Alright, Tony," she hummed, mostly to herself. "Let's take a look at the damage, then."

"Pepper, it's fine-" he interrupted.

She ignored him, unwrapping the bandages until his soft yet hardened hands from years of working in the shop were before her. The slices across his fingers didn't look nearly as bad as they did the night before and she can tell that they are slowly healing. Which reminded her…

"I'm going to have to call someone to take care of the mess in the bathroom."

Tony frowned, eyeing her suspiciously. "What did you do?"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Not _my_ bathroom," she told him. "_Yours_. From…last night." She added the last part hastily, not entirely eager to bring it up.

Tony twisted his lip to the side and hummed once. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Ever." She looked up at him sheepishly, as she threw the bandages away. "It makes me nervous."

Tony smirked. "Well, in that case, Dr. Potts…"

"And don't call me that-" Pepper demanded instantly, growing frustrated already. Tony raised an eyebrow questioningly and Pepper sighed. "You're _fine_, Tony. There's nothing wrong with you."

He laughed quietly, about to turn around. "Keep fooling yourself," he answered.

But before he could leave, her hand was holding onto his arm. "Tony, I'm being serious-"

"So am I Pepper," he told her, holding up an empty prescription bottle. "That's why I did this." He tossed it into the trash can behind her and added, "I decided that if worse comes to worse, alcohol is an excellent pain reliever…and sedative."

"Tony!"

He immediately sensed the fear in her voice: pure fear and sheer terror. And for some reason he hadn't expected that. So he added a hasty alteration to his statement. "I'm just kidding," he added, trying to walk away.

But she wasn't ready to let him go quite yet. "Tony…I'm proud of you," she told him. "For doing this, for getting rid of all of it. And…I want you to promise me that the next time this happens, you're not going to go to the alcohol first. That you're going to call me – no matter what time of the night or day it is."

"I can't promise that," Tony told her honestly.

"No, you _will_ promise me that."

"This means nothing," Tony said spitefully. His eyes were getting darker again – black. "Throwing everything out doesn't change anything, Pepper. This isn't over for me."

_This isn't over for him._ That was what Robert had told her on the phone – that what was happening wasn't something they could just get rid of. It was something Tony would have to learn to either ignore or live with. He couldn't erase those memories.

"So you plan on doing this alone?" Pepper asked him.

"You want to call a shrink, Pepper?" he asked, almost hatefully. "Because you can do that - but I can assure you, I will _not_ show up."

"I didn't ask you to call a shrink. I'm asking you to call _me_."

"This isn't like a board meeting, Pepper," Tony tried to tell her, and she noticed his growing aggravation. "There's no set time, no rescheduling. This can happen anytime from once a week to once every other hour and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I just need to cope with it, and you can't help me with that."

"That's your plan, then?" Pepper spat angrily. "To…learn how to just _cope_ with it? You plan on living like that?"

"I've got nothing," Tony said, his palms pointing upwards as if to surrender. "That's the best plan I've got. I just need to make it work."

"You're being selfish," Pepper accused.

"How am I-"?

"I'm not going to watch you disappear, Tony. Not anymore. These last few weeks…and I mean well before you OD'd on the painkillers – that's what _I've_ had to deal with. I've had to watch you slowly disappear day after day, not knowing why you were so quiet, not understanding why you looked so hopeless and dejected. And now that I know, I'm not about to let you deal with all of this by yourself." _I care about you too much to watch you do this alone._

Pepper didn't say that – not out loud anyway, even though that's what she really meant. But she did have his attention. "So…for the last time…I want you to promise me that you _will_ call me when you need me. Whenever this happens again."

_She doesn't need to feel guilty_, Tony thought to himself. That was Tony's perception of her heartfelt speech. She was feeling guilty for not have realized the truth so long ago, and now she wanted to make up for that time. To be there for him _now_; now that she understood what the problem was. And he understood that guilty perfectly, even though he knew it wasn't her fault.

"Alright," Tony agreed quietly.

"Tony-"

"I promise," he told her and finally, Pepper's mind was at ease. She let go of his hand and nodded once, trusting him.

He scratched his forehead, desperate to escape the guilt gnawing at him. "So…meeting in ten minutes?"

"Right," Pepper quickly added with a nod, gathering her things. "Happy's outside right now, we should get going."

He followed her out, choosing not to mention a small detail concerning his promise to Pepper.

He had lied.

* * *

"You look rested," Robert noted with an immature smirk as he drove Pepper back to Stark Industries. They had gone out for a quick lunch earlier and now she had to make it back in time to take care of business.

Pepper eyed her boyfriend. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Robert knew that look. It meant, _answer carefully._ "I mean just that, Virginia," he said with a laugh. "You look rested – from what I hear about Tony, he's just as much of a handful as a dozen teenagers. You just look like you _actually_ slept."

Pepper purposely hadn't revealed the exact details concerning her sleeping arrangements the night before. That she had woken up with the arc reactor outlined in the side of her face and that Tony hadn't batted an eye when she'd realized his morning glory was perfectly alert.

Instead, she chuckled as well, pinching his shoulder lightly. "You don't give him credit, you know."

"Hey, I get all my stories from _you_, remember?"

She sighed. "I suppose post-traumatic stress makes people like Tony easier to handle," she said sadly.

Robert looked shocked. "Is that what it is?"

"Of course it is," Pepper told him. "I don't know what to do though."

_Take him somewhere – to see someone._ That made perfect sense to Robert, but it wasn't the answer Pepper wanted to hear.

"I know you want me to just…get him to see someone," Pepper started.

"I didn't say anything."

"…but I feel like that would be abandoning him. And I can't do that either."

"Pepper, that's not abandoning him. That would be _helping_ him."

"He won't see anyone. He hates doctors."

Robert said nothing for a while, thinking to himself. Then, "What did Tony say?"

Pepper sighed. "He won't see anyone. He told me that if I wanted I could set something up but he wouldn't show up."

"So he's willing to put it all on you?" Robert asked angrily.

"No," Pepper told him. "He doesn't want me involved either. He wants to take care of it himself. Says he can handle it."

_Well, let him handle it!_ Robert thought. If Tony wanted to deal with all of this himself that was fine by him. Problem solved. But as he drove, he glanced at Pepper, and he could tell that it wasn't fine by her. And suddenly, Robert was filled with a jealous anger.

What did Tony ever do to earn so much of her affection? If Robert was in the same situation, he knew Pepper would be there for him, that she would do the exact same thing. But _that's_ what frustrated him: that he was on the same playing field as Tony. If Tony was simply her boss or even a friend, she'd just call a shrink and her responsibility would be fulfilled. But instead, she was going this far to help him. And for what? Why?

Robert looked at her again and noticed how morose she looked. During lunch she'd been as happy and light hearted as ever. But as soon as Tony had been brought up, all of that lightheartedness escaped her eyes.

Robert sighed loudly, exasperated and Pepper looked at him. "What's the matter?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he lied, trying to convince himself that there was no reason for him to feel so jealous. Tony and Pepper had known each other for well over a decade after all. They _were_ good friends and it was completely normal for her to feel attached – for her to want to help. There was nothing wrong with that. He didn't need to compete for Pepper's affection, because he knew he already had it.

And as if to prove that he was right, Pepper placed her hand on Robert's upper arm, concerned, just as he pulled up in front of Stark Industries. "I'll see you tonight," Pepper told him.

"I hope so," Robert answered.

Pepper smiled sadly, understanding with him. She kissed him lightly on the cheek before leaving the car.

**Well…there's that. **

**ALSO, I've finally got a premise for a potential third installment for the "Help Me/The Road to Happiness" Series. So if any of you happen to be interested in it, let me know. I mean, if no one wants it, I might as well do something a little more constructive…like write a different Ironman fic (lol). **

**And reviews are always nice and helpful. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

When the area around his arc reactor starting to burn like fire and itch like mad, the only sensation, apart from annoyance and pain, that gripped him was surprise. Surprise that it had taken two days before a routine activity triggered a memory in the back of his mind: something as simple as shaving.

He remembered Yinsen shaving just as he woke up from the "surgery". The surgery that had ultimately led to the soft blue light bulb implanted into his chest.

Tony's second surprise that night was the complete lack of pain – at least, physical pain. Of course, his fingers were still numb from the cuts from a few nights ago but other than that there was nothing. The burning sensation in his chest had disappeared; there was no dizziness, no choking sensation. Just nothing.

Nothing except the memories playing over and over again in his mind. And once he realized that was all, he attempted to ignore it and resumed upgrading his latest Mark suit. No need to get distracted if there was no physical manifestation.

Too bad that was much easier said than done. And almost an hour later, he quickly realized the pure memories were just as bad as pure pain. At least then there was some sort of an outlet. Now it wasn't just his concentration that was suffering – but his mind on a much deeper level.

It was worse now because he could fake functionality. He could function so well, a complete stranger wouldn't even suspect he was battling with events from months past. But although his fingers were as dexterous as ever and there wasn't a single bead of sweat upon his brow, his mind was lost – occupied with memories that continued to replay in his mind. And as a result, he could accomplish nothing.

_Sleep_, he finally decided. _That's what I need, I just need to rest._

Again, easier said than done. It was amazing, how difficult it was for sleep to come when his mind was preoccupied with events he would rather ignore, or even better, forget completely.

For the two hundred and fifty ninth time, he rolled onto his stomach in bed, staring blankly at the windows JARVIS had taken the initiative to tint now that he was trying to sleep. Still, wide eyes open, he groaned. He shut his eyes, clenching his lids tightly. With his eyes closed, the images flashed across his mind rapidly. Lying down on a table, a man with glasses above him holding a surgical knife. Blink. Noticing, for the first time, the car battery attached to his chest by two wires. Blink. His weapons on display deep in an Afghan desert. Blink.

This time, he kept his eyes open. He didn't want to see more. He rolled onto his back _again_ and stayed where he was – sheets rumpled and the light from the reactor shining onto the ceiling.

"JARVIS, what time is it?"

_Three in the morning, sir. And now that you ask, I'd like to remind you of your meeting in just six hours._

"Yeah, you can forget that," Tony mumbled to himself as he sat up.

Now what?

Sleep was impossible. He could go down to the shop and try to work on updating the latest Mark suit. It had taken a real beating recently and it was about time he fixed and upgraded the entire system. But he knew that once he was down there, his concentration would be lacking. And even though he knew what he had to do, he'd find himself staring at the work in front of him, not sure how to do it. The memories were too much of a distraction and even if they weren't physically painful, they still _hurt_.

He kicked the sheets aside and left the bed, following his feet blindly.

What was wrong with him? Why was it so difficult for him to just let it _go_?

_It's getting better. It doesn't _hurt. He had to look on the bright side. It wasn't hurting him the way it used to just days ago. Maybe Pepper was right. All he had to do was talk about it. Tell someone.

Like he had promised her. _Promise me that the next time this happens, you will call me._

Tony tried to convince himself that he wasn't breaking that promise. It didn't hurt like it had that night. He was stable and he hadn't fallen down a flight of stairs (yet). He was fine. The only real problem was that he couldn't sleep and that was hardly a good reason to call his assistant at three in the morning. For a moment, he was even angry with himself for even considering calling her. That was insensitive.

Blink. Car battery.

That was stupid – calling her at three in the morning.

Blink. Yinsen dying.

Selfish even.

Blink. A terrorist threatening to put a hot piece of coal in Yinsen's mouth.

Stupidstupidstupid.

Blink.

"Shut up!" Tony groaned aloud.

_Sir?_

Tony rolled his eyes. "Shut up," Tony mumbled again, this time to his AI.

He sighed, his feet leading him down to the shop. It used to be his own personal safe house; somewhere he could run off to when he was avoiding a meeting or one of Pepper's death glares. He could _think_ here as he worked. Music blaring obscenely loud, JARVIS providing him with information that pertained to whatever project he was working on and _only_ that project. No distractions. Now, he felt just as trapped downstairs as he did in his own mind.

Stupidstupidstupid. Blink.

"JARVIS, bring up the files from the suit as well as a report of the damages."

His computers instantly fired up at his command and the information he requested appeared as Dummy's robotic arm twisted slightly, as if it was startled.

_Report completed._

Tony turned to see a holographic display of his latest suit, the damaged outlined in red. His eyes widened, realizing the full extent of the damage. "Ah!" he shrieked, surprised. _That's a lot, _he thought to himself as he went through the damages individually, picking and choosing the ones JARVIS could take care of himself and planning the preliminary procedures for the rest.

At least, he would have _liked_ to do that. But now facing the mountain of work ahead of him (a mountain of work that had been child's play a week ago), he was lost.

_Now what?_

No. This was stupid. He knew what he had to do. Which ones were just a simple patch up job? Those JARVIS could take care of easily. Pick those first. One at a time…slowly…he could do this. This wasn't rocket science.

_Yes, it is. _

Shut up. Not funny.

Blink. It was Yinsen's idea to buy them more time before the attacks.

Tony exhaled loudly, his brain on its way toward a permanent meltdown. _For God's sake, Tony. Think!_ He lifted up his arm hesitantly, his eyes scanning the numbers, markings and letters JARVIS had left him. It was as if he couldn't even read them, let alone understand it all.

_What's wrong with me?_

Blink. Someone grabbing his hair and forcing him underwater.

He couldn't do this. Not now. He couldn't _think_. "JARVIS, pack it up," he instructed, walking out of the shop.

This was worse. So much worse than before. At least he had an excuse before – he was in pain. Stupidstupidstupid. He couldn't update a goddamn system. His suit. It looked so complicated. Or maybe it was just the distraction of the memories; most likely a combination of both.

Sleep. I need sleep.

No, he couldn't. Because that just led to another problem. He couldn't _sleep_. Even sleep was impossible because his brain couldn't shut down. What sort of torture was this? To have a mind that couldn't stop running but couldn't function either?

Again, he followed his feet blindly and moments later, found himself facing the wine cabinet – a cabinet he hadn't opened since he had come home from Afghanistan. _Months_ ago.

He hadn't promised had he?

_"I decided that if worse comes to worse, alcohol is an excellent pain reliever…and sedative," Tony said, playfully even._

_"Tony!"_

_He immediately sensed the fear in her voice: pure fear and sheer terror. And for some reason he hadn't expected that. So he added a hasty alteration to his statement. "I'm just kidding," he added, trying to walk away._

_But she wasn't ready to let him go quite yet. "Tony…I'm proud of you," she told him. "For doing this, for getting rid of all of it. And…I want you to promise me that the next time this happens, you're not going to go to the alcohol first. That you're going to call me – no matter what time of the night or day it is."_

Okay, so he _had_ promised he wouldn't do _this_. There was no way he could talk himself out of it.

Blink. Car battery.

Stupidstupidstupid.

He didn't so much as sigh as he picked a bottle randomly. _You promised._

_Who cares_? a much more pronounced portion of his brain screamed back. You're Tony Stark. You don't keep promises.

If he was going to go back, he might as well go all out.

* * *

After the first bottle, the memories weren't haunting him. Once he threw in some scotch he didn't even remember why he had opened the bottle to begin with and by the time he popped open the third, he was euphoric.

It usually didn't take him this little (though three bottles of wine and a decent amount of scotch wasn't considered "little") to send him over the edge and to the bathroom to piss. Six months ago, three bottles meant bedtime. Now…well, now he just felt sick.

But that didn't stop him from bringing a wine bottle with him to the bathroom.

_Sir, I think you've had quite enough for one night_.

Tony laughed stupidly. "JARVIS, don't be a party pooper," he chuckled to himself as he stumbled toward the bathroom, his stomach rumbling angrily. "No one likes a party pooper."

_Unfortunately, the only person in attendance is you._

At that moment, Tony lost his balance and landed squarely on his ass. Sweat rested gently on his brow but it didn't stop the fit of giggles and intermittent hiccups. "I didn't program…sarcasm…" he reminded JARVIS. However, his words were hardly audible thanks to his own laughter.

_That was not sarcasm._

Tony attempted to get up but after deciding that was a lost cause, he lay on his back facing the ceiling of the living room. "I haven't binged like this since…" another fit of laughter interrupted and rolled on his side laughing.

_Sir, this is hardly a binge if we're using your past experiences with alcohol as a standard. However, your tolerance has fallen significantly since then._

"JARVIS, you're not funny at all…" Tony pouted, attempting to open the next wine bottle with his teeth.

_I don't think that's wise…_

"Where did I put it-" Tony muttered to himself as he looked around the room for the corkscrew, smacking his lips lazily. He spotted it on the edge of the table and made his way toward it. At least, he _thought_ that was it – there were two of them side by side fading in and out so he was really just guessing.

Despite how drunk he was, he was very capable of maneuvering the opener and with a loud pop, his next drink became available.

_Sir, you are swiftly on your way toward alcohol poisoning._

Tony rolled his eyes as he put the bottle to his lips. _Blah, blah, blah. _"Goody two shoes."

_I'll be calling Ms. Potts._

Tony's eyes widened. "No!" he sputtered quickly, making a mess.

_I will if you continue, Sir._

Now, Tony might not have been in his right mind and he _was_ profoundly drunk. But he wasn't so of out it that he didn't realize he was arguing with his own computer.

"I'll switch you off first," Tony shot back, trying a little harder to get on his feet.

_With all due respect, I'd love to see you try._

Tony frowned and grimaced as he took one more sip from his drink, as if to test JARVIS. Needless to say, his AI was right. The only way to leave JARVIS offline was to do so from the shop. And if it was such an effort to make it to the bathroom he wasn't so sure if he could make it down the stairs.

_Have we reached an agreement?_

Tony would have argued were it not for the creeping feeling in the back of his throat. He tasted bile and his lip twitched.

He _really_ needed to get to the bathroom.

* * *

_**8:00 AM**_

Pepper grabbed her keys and held the handle of her purse in her mouth as she put her hair up, making her way towards the door. As soon as her hair was fixed, she held on to her purse and yelled on her way out, "Honey, I'll see you for lunch, yeah?"

Robert mumbled something in his sleep, raising his arm just above his head to show that he had heard her. Pepper laughed to herself and left the apartment, smiling. It was Saturday – his day off and he was probably going to stay in bed until eleven.

As soon as she was on the other side of the door, she switched into work mode and made her first call of the day. A call dedicated to making sure Tony was alive, awake, and aware of their meeting in an hour.

Naturally, it was JARVIS who answered for her. But not to fear – that was expected. It was only on extreme occasions Tony would answer the phone himself at eight in the morning.

_Good morning, Ms. Potts_.

"JARVIS, make sure Tony knows about our meeting at nine and more importantly, make sure he's ready for it." Obviously, JARVIS couldn't force Tony to do anything, but persuasion was always an option.

_Mr. Stark was made aware of the meeting a few hours ago. However, it may prove difficult to ensure that he is fit for it._

"An explanation would be excellent," Pepper sighed, not looking forward to it.

_For starters, Mr. Stark has only been asleep for two hours and twenty-seven minutes._

Pepper rolled her eyes as she started the car. Perfect. This was just what she needed – Tony exhausted was fifty times more difficult to deal with than childish Tony. Or even drunk Tony. At least if he was drunk she just had to put him to bed.

Or…was it more serious? Was it the memories again? Did something else happen? Immediately, her heart leapt.

_He promised he'd tell me if it happened again. He promised he'd call._

Wait…did JARVIS just say "for starters"? There was more?

"I'll be there soon," she answered just as she hung up.

* * *

Just fifteen minutes later, Tony awoke to the familiar sound of clicking heels. Very slowly, he opened his eyes and as he did, the sound of her heels seemed infinitely times louder and the light in the bathroom was unbearably bright. "Shit, JARVIS…"

The lights dimmed instantly.

Wait…the bathroom?

Oh. Right. _Now_ he remembered. Kind of. Halfway through that last bottle he'd reached his breaking point – and had thrown it all up. That would explain why he had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor as well as the now completely empty wine bottle in the corner. Tony would have laughed had he not been so hung over. So he had finished the damn thing anyway. Better get rid of that before Pepper…

Suddenly the clicking heels sounded a _lot_ closer.

Shit.

And shit was right. Pepper noticed that the cabinet door that had been closed for so long now was now was wide open. That was her first clue. The remaining clues were scattered across the living room and kitchen. Two empty bottles of wine, another near empty one of Scotch.

But for some reason, she refused to believe it. _He promised_.

"JARVIS, where's Tony?" she asked calmly. Calm and collected – so much so it was terrifying.

_In the bathroom._

"Is he decent?" she asked as she made her way towards his room.

_Clothed, certainly. But not decent._

That was answer enough. And when she opened the door her speculation was replaced with reality.

"Turn it off, it's too bright…" was his greeting. He shielded his eyes, remaining on the floor in his feeble attempt to go back to sleep anyway.

Pepper didn't move at all for about five seconds. She just stared at him, not sure what she should be feeling but battling between disappointment, sadness and anger. In the end, she accepted a conglomeration of the three and slammed the door shut, leaving her boss alone inside. She pulled out her cell phone.

"Yes, this is Ms. Potts, Mr. Stark won't be able to make it to the nine o'clock meeting and neither will I…"

She was sure to be extra loud and particularly obnoxious. Tony picked up on that. It was a little difficult not to when she spent her time collecting empty bottles he had scattered everywhere and emptying them into the trash where they could crash into a million pieces. She ran the water, the disposal and made sure he could hear _everything_ she was doing.

But by the time she was finished and decided to go back and find him again, her approach shifted. Her shoes were off to avoid the sound of her stilettos hitting the floor and she left the lights off, bringing only a glass of water with her back to his bathroom. Still saying nothing, she sat down beside him, her back resting against the wall.

"Tony…?"

He grumbled something unintelligibly. Then, "What?"

"I cancelled your meeting, do you want to get to bed? I've got-"

"Go. Away."

Pepper closed her mouth instantly, nodding even if he couldn't see her. But she refused to leave, despite his request. This wasn't the first time she had heard those words, but it was the first time he had said it like _that_. As if he truly despised her.

A few tense moments followed. Finally, Tony turned his head towards her direction. "You're still here," he said plainly. His message was simple.

"Yes," Pepper answered him quietly.

"Why?"

"Because ten years ago you made me sign a piece of paper that said you're my boss. And I agreed to do whatever it is you needed me to do despite what you thought about it at the moment."

"Then this is your boss telling you to leave," Tony spat angrily.

Pepper glared at him. _If looks could kill…_ "And this is your friend telling you to go to hell," she answered back.

He looked at her again, and despite the darkness, Pepper recognized something new in his eyes. But she couldn't place her finger on it. Was he surprised at her response or at the fact that she refused to leave? Was it surprise at all or was it just annoyance?

Pepper sighed, her hands resting in her lap, eyes focused on her thumbs. "You promised to call me. Remember? The next time it happened you said you'd call me."

"What makes you think anything happened?" Tony answered back smartly.

"Because even if you don't want to admit it, you've changed. And unlike six months ago, you'd need to have a hell of a good reason to drink this much again." She looked up at him. "You also promised you wouldn't do that. That you wouldn't drink like this. You promised you'd call me."

"I lied."

"I noticed." She said nothing, waiting for his next rebuttal but none came. So she told him what was really bugging her about the whole thing.

"You lied," she repeated after him.

"I just said-"

"That's the first time you've ever lied to me."

That kept him quiet. He glanced at her, squinting slightly. "I lie to you all the time…"

"No, you don't. You _ignore_ me and you don't listen to a word I say but you never lie to me."

She was right, even if he wasn't ready to admit it. "It was late…" he mumbled, trying to think of a reasonable excuse. And that one happened to be true. "Nothing hurt. And it wasn't even that bad."

Pepper took the half empty bottle beside him and lifted it up, swishing the liquid inside. "Really? Because this doesn't sound so good either."

"I just wanted to sleep."

"And then you accidentally lost count," Pepper said, ending his story.

"Something like that."

"Hmm," she hummed to herself nodding. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Tony answered swiftly.

"Do you want me to leave?"

He hesitated this time. Then quietly and reluctantly answered, "No."

Pepper nodded again to herself and said nothing. Gently, she put down the wine bottle she had picked up, sighing. "Ok, Tony," she hummed softly as her hand caressed his shoulder. "Ok."

**Long wait, I'm aware. Hope you liked it anyway. :P Don't forget to leave a review! They keep me going and let me know that there's someone out there who wants this to continue. :) 'Preciate it.**

**xoxo **

**me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Pepper tried to pay attention during dinner – she really did. After all, Robert had taken her to her favorite sushi bar and judging from the expression on his face, he was trying to tell her something important. But her mind kept drifting. It was nearly nine thirty – what was Tony doing at this time? Was something wrong? And if there was, would he call her? Or would he choose to leave her out of everything _again_, only for her to find out about it the next morning? Should _she_ call _him_?

"And then I gave a six year old a jet pack and the two of us went flying through space-"

Well, that didn't sound right. "You did what?" Pepper asked, perking up instantly.

Robert sighed, tilting his head to the side in mock exasperation. "What happened this morning?" he asked.

She considered explaining, but she quickly changed her mind with a wave of her hand as their food arrived. "It's not important…"

"Virginia-"

"No, seriously, it's not. What were you trying to tell me?"

"Absolutely nothing," Robert said. "Not until you tell me what's on your mind. What did he do?"

"What makes you think it has anything to do with Tony?" she asked sarcastically, with a roll of her eyes. Not angrily – just exasperated.

"Because he's the only one that ever seems to be on your mind recently."

Pepper's tongue instantly cleaved to the roof of her mouth at his words and she felt her throat constrict. She knew what he said was true – Tony really had been on her mind for some time now, especially after he had landed himself in the hospital. But for Robert to bring it up especially with that particular phrasing meant more. Was he suggesting…

Moments too late, Robert realized his mistake and winced. "I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly.

"Uh-" was all that escaped her lips, still not sure how to respond.

"I'm not saying that it's anything else, I understand why you're worried. I completely get it, alright? I'm just…pointing out that you worrying about him has reached an all time high as of late."

Pepper nodded, now, for the first time, desperate to drop the subject entirely. "No…I get it, I-" she started to say, then, shaking her head, she switched tactics. "I'm just worried. I know it seems like I'm looking for excuses to spend time with him but I've known him for almost ten years now and now I'm just watching him unravel."

"What happened today?" Robert asked, honestly interested.

"He was hung over. He couldn't sleep the night before so he just drank all last night," she explained. "I know it sounds like him but ever since he got back I thought he was different. That he had changed but-" Pepper stopped suddenly, looking into her boyfriend's eyes. "You don't want to talk about this."

"Wait-"

"You don't, Robert, it's fine. It's as if every other conversation we have somehow ties back to Tony and it's not even your problem."

"If it's _your_ problem, it's _my_ problem by default."

She smiled slightly, her first honest one of the night, and tried, "How was work?"

Robert shook his head quickly. "No, why are _you_ worried? What's the problem now?"

_I'm worried about what he's doing now…if he's doing anything. _"Nothing," she lied, wincing internally. Robert was just trying to understand – it wasn't that he particularly cared or was just as worried as she was. If it were all up to him, Tony would probably be in a psychiatric ward. But instead, he was trying to feign thoughtfulness on her behalf because that was what she wanted to see. He was lying. So, naturally, she would lie back. "Nothing," she repeated softly.

And even as she said it, she couldn't help but compare how easily they could lie to each other, but how impossible it was to do so to Tony.

"Nothing."

* * *

"JARVIS!" Tony called out as he walked through the front door. He had spent the last hour at Stark Industries, transferring the last of Obadiah's files.

_Welcome home, Sir._

"Well, if you're online why don't you turn on the lights?" Tony spoke under his breath. Still, the darkness remained and Tony rolled his eyes.

"'I am Iron Man'?" came a voice hiding somewhere in the darkness and Tony frowned, for the first time noticing the looming figure standing by the window. "You think you're the only superhero in the world?"

"JARVIS, you can't just let random people into the house," Tony muttered under his breath. "I thought you were smarter than that."

The figure by the window turned around but still, Tony couldn't make out his face. "Mr. Stark, you've just become part of a bigger universe."

This time, Tony addressed his uninvited guest. "Who the hell are you?"

The man stepped out of the shadows. "Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD."

"Oh." _Well, that explains everything, Mr. Eye-Patch, _Tony thought to himself sarcastically.

"I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative."

Tony nodded once. Then blurted, "What, right now? Because, It's almost midnight…and I was hung over this morning so if I could take a nap first-"

Up until this moment, Tony had deemed the phrase "if looks could kill" complete bullshit, unless Pepper was involved. Now, he was surprised to learn that the phrase worked just as well when discussing a one eyed man with a terrible attitude.

Tony's lip twitched slightly. "Or, yeah, Initiatives are pretty cool too."

Eye-Patch nodded once, as if pleased Tony had answered correctly. "Let's start with the suit…"

* * *

_**9:30 AM**_

In the end, she hadn't called Tony and had eliminated him from her and Robert's conversation entirely. If Robert didn't want to talk about him, or even hear his name, there was no point in bringing him up. So last night, they had chosen to talk about nothing important.

"Mr. Stark?" she called out as soon as she entered his home. "Tony?" she tried again, though she knew doing so was pointless. He'd never answer her and it only made sense to check the shop first. So with a tired sigh, she made her way downstairs, a few documents in her hand.

She only rolled her eyes when she realized Tony wasn't in his shop. He wasn't still sleeping was he? That was unlike him – despite how lazy and irresponsible he could be, he never slept in past seven…unless he was hung over.

Pepper rolled her eyes again. _Perfect_.

"JARVIS, is Tony asleep?" she asked.

_No, Mr. Stark left the premises at ten thirty four last night._

Pepper stopped in her tracks. He'd been out _all night?_ "Did he say where he was going?"

_He left with the Director of SHIELD. All searches concerning the agency seem to be heavily blocked and I haven't been able to procure a name for our stranger. _

The name "SHIELD" should have allowed her to calm down – it had been SHIELD who had taken care of the problem surrounding Obadiah and even though Tony had ended up ignoring the cards they had given him, they had done what they could. But Pepper panicked anyway, especially when she realized that this all meant Tony had been out of the house _all_ _night_.

"Can you find him? Track his phone? Where is he now?"

_I am unable to locate Mr. Stark._

Pepper exhaled slowly. "Okay…okay, that's fine." There was nothing to worry about. There weren't any meetings Tony had to attend and the papers in her hand could always wait until tomorrow. She decided that if Tony didn't show up in the next half hour, this could be her self-appointed "work from home" day. The two of them were heading to New York in two weeks for a board of directors meeting. She could start planning for that at least.

* * *

Three hours later, Pepper found herself sitting on the couch and frantically drafting a speech Tony had to give in a month. Time after time again, she reminded herself, _I don't need to be here_, but it never gave her the motivation to go _home_.

She stood up and left for the kitchen to fill up another cup of coffee, sighing as she did. _I don't need to be here_, Pepper told herself again but still, she continued to pour herself another cup.

"Pepper?"

Pepper jumped suddenly, nearly spilling coffee all over herself and the floor. She whirled around, eyes wide only to find herself staring at Tony. He was at the steps that led down to his workshop, staring back at her questioningly, black grease smeared across the side of his face and his hair standing up on ends. He looked like he had just left a war zone.

Tony blinked, a little surprised. Then his eyes furrowed. "How long have you been here?"

Pepper blinked in response. "Have you been in the shop…this whole time?"

He looked offended. "I've been out," he said simply and was about ready to leave it at that had Pepper allowed him to.

"Where have you been?"

Tony frowned, thinking for a moment. Then decided on, "Road trip."

"JARVIS had no idea where you were," she quickly pointed out.

"Are you keeping tabs on me?"

Pepper rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Tony, keeping tabs on you is part of the job description."

"But you seem to be keeping very _special_ tabs on me."

"I had no idea where you were!"

"You do realize," Tony said plainly. "That we don't _actually_ live together."

"I need to know where you are."

"Are you even listening to me?" Tony asked, looking surprised.

"No, you're not listening to me, that's just it-"

"Wait-"

"You don't ever listen to me, never – to a single damn word I say-"

"Stop!" Tony yelled, finally silencing her. When she huffed annoyingly and stayed silent for a full moment and a half, Tony finally said, "Did I miss a meeting or something, because before I ventured out on this trip I took the time to check to avoid this from happening and there was nothing on the books. Pepper, for the first time, I'm in the clear. I should be getting praise not a lecture."

Of course, he was just playing dumb. He knew exactly why she was hysterical and out of her mind – it was because of all of his recent stunts and sudden display of despair. Yes, he understood quite well why she was in this state of mind.

But that didn't mean he liked it. So he did what he did best.

He retaliated.

"Tony my point is-"

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" he asked simply.

That silenced her. Instantly. And she felt as if she'd been attacked in the chest with a baseball bat. "What?"

"It's a simple question, Ms. Potts," he returned.

_Ms. Potts._ Not Pepper – he had _just_ moments agocalled her "Pepper", for the love of God. He was retreating. Already.

Well, if he wanted to play the professional game, he had chosen the wrong opponent. "Tony, who I choose to have a relationship with is none of your business."

"But, that's just it, isn't it?" Tony answered back, his tone growing cold and his eyes growing dangerously darker. "Who you choose to have a _professional_ relationship with is completely my business and I'd prefer ours to remain professional. Which means your unnecessary concern can take a step back and you can take the rest of the day off."

Tony - 1, Pepper – 0. And it was at this score that Tony decided to leave the game. He made his way towards his room and slammed the door behind him, refusing to wait for a reply or even glance at her heartbroken face.

Pepper jumped slightly at the harsh slam of the door, and for a few moments, she refused to move. So Tony didn't want her around. Was she too pushy? Too forward? Had her worry come out as something else? As needy or frightened? She hadn't meant for that to happen but obviously it had. And now he was, in just a few words, kicking her out of the house; almost like he would a dog or one of those tramps he used to bring into the house every other night. Though, she supposed, that had been _her_ job – to send the women out.

That's what upset her the most: that her worry had come across as needy as one of _those_ women. Or was it just his bruised ego? Maybe she should leave him – even if it was just for a while. Robert was right – there was no need worrying for him so much. Tony certainly didn't think he needed it. Still, Pepper wasn't quite ready to leave him alone. Maybe Tony knew he was fine, but she didn't; and she had to be sure.

So instead of packing her things, she sat back down at the table, and continued to work. She could be professional, she could be horrifically and unbelievingly professional – so professional he'd tear out his hair and later on, _beg _her to come back as Pepper, and not _Ms._ Potts. She'd stay out, by staying _in_ – aloofly so.

But already, Tony was biting his lip and regretting his words in the confines of his quiet bedroom. He'd been far too harsh and unfair. He'd crossed lines: insulting her concern and tossing her out of the house. That was cruel.

And it was unlike him.

He wasn't cruel. He wasn't heartless. He was a jackass, an asshole, and a selfish and narcissistic billionaire. But he was _not_ heartless. And what he had just said to one of the few people in the world who gave a damn about him, was just that – heartless.

Tony knew the right thing to do was to run out of the room, chase her down and apologize. But the narcissistic and selfish part of him was kicking in, and he decided a phone call was just as good. So he went to take a shower.

_Stupid Mr. Eye Patch_. That's right – find someone else to blame.

* * *

"JARVIS, give me an exploded view of the right hand's repulsor," Tony muttered to himself, still wallowing in self-pity. She had left, just as he had suspected. When he had left his bedroom, she wasn't there and neither were her things. He had driven her away. So Tony did what Tony did best – he chose a distraction. _At least I'm being constructive_.

_Sir, the repulsor is intact. What exactly are you looking for?_

"Nothing," Tony explained. "Just trying to make it better. Our visitor last night made it abundantly clear that I should have more than one of the suits lying around. Might as well add a few upgrades while I'm at it."

_Energy efficiency?_

"I was thinking more along the lines of a portable suit, but let's throw in energy efficiency and see where we-"

Tony stopped suddenly, his head still down but listening intently. For a moment, he had thought he had heard the familiar tapping of his assistant's stilettos approaching the shop but as soon as he started to listen for it, the sound disappeared.

He sighed. _You, Mr. Stark, _Tony thought to himself. _Are pathetic. Just call her, apologize, and get it over with._

"I've finished drafting your speech."

Tony perked up suddenly, startled – even, scaring Pepper for a second. Once he got himself together, he maintained his iconic apathetic expression, refusing to make eye contact with her and trying to suppress how grateful he was that she hadn't left. He took the draft in her hand, glanced at it for a moment, then tossed it aside, focusing his attention on the holographic display in front of him. "I thought you left," he told her.

"I was in the guest room," she answered back swiftly.

"But I told you to leave."

"You suggested I leave to maintain professionalism and I decided I could remain just as professional here as opposed to anywhere else. I understand your concern and I assure you it won't happen again. Can I get you anything else, Mr. Stark?"

Tony raised an eyebrow, looking at her. Her eyes were still downcast, browsing through her Blackberry and judging from her stance she hadn't even looked at him once. Finally, he was at a loss for words. Tony – 1, Pepper -1. Her score sealed perfectly with her last line, "Can I get you anything else, Mr. Stark?".

"I'm fine," he answered back. _No, I am absolutely not fine._

She nodded once, curtly and turned on her heels, about to leave the room.

_So_ _apologize for being a heartless asshole_. What was so hard about it?

But, then again, why apologize? She was his assistant, and he had done nothing more than remind her of that, granted in an unnecessarily merciless way, but still. She was his _assistant._

Bullshit. She was much more than his assistant and he knew it.

"Pepper-"

"Yes, Mr. Stark?" she turned around again, but her eyes remained downcast. This time shuffling with a stack of papers in her hand.

And finally, he understood.

The papers, the Blackberry and even the goddamn draft were her distractions. Distractions she had designed for him in order to divert his attention from the tears sliding down her face.

He stood up suddenly and immediately, Pepper knew her distractions had failed. She unknowingly took a step back, trying to come up with some flimsy reason to disappear. "If that's all I'll just—I need to finish, I need to send something you can just call me if-"

"Pepper-"

"If you need anything," she quickly ended, opening the workshop door and disappearing up the steps.

Tony was speechless as he watched her leave, his heart clenching in his chest. He hadn't meant for that to happen, to _hurt_ her. He hated to see her cry and worst of all, he knew it was his fault.

"I'm sorry."

But his apology came too late. She had already left.

* * *

Robert could immediately tell there was something on Pepper's mind. Of course, for the last few weeks – someone was _always_ on Pepper's mind. But today there was something else; something that went deeper than the usual worry and anxiety for her boss, but bordering hatred and animosity.

And to be quite honest, it frightened him.

At least Tony was the object of Pepper's newfound animosity. Robert was in the clear; and at that moment, he decided that maybe this was a good thing. Finally, Pepper would back away from Tony and give him his space, realizing there was no point in worrying for a man who's only gift was to be a complete asshole.

Naturally, as soon as he had thought those words, he felt terrible. He shouldn't be wishing for Tony to hurt Pepper. He didn't want _anyone_ or anything to hurt her. He loved her.

But he also couldn't ignore the pangs of jealousy he felt whenever she brought up Tony, the way her eyes glistened, just slightly, when she tried to explain what he was going through. Robert empathized with Tony's situation, but definitely not to the extent that Pepper showed. But now that Tony had shown his true colors, and had effectively returned to his asshole status, Pepper would come back to him. And Tony would just be what he was meant to be – her boss.

He just hadn't expected Pepper's animosity toward him to evolve into sorrow. And to see her sorrow was much more painful than he had imagined.

She was sitting in bed, typing frantically into her Blackberry – most likely double checking dates and events to make sure nothing clashed. Robert sat down beside her but she didn't even spare him a glance, focusing her attention on the device in her hand.

He kissed her cheek. "You need a vacation."

She shook her head slightly, still not offering her full attention. "I just need to send this in before deadline at six tomorrow morning…I completely forgot."

"Hmm," he hummed, watching her for a moment. Then, "Are you alright?"

Pepper finally looked at him, her eyes distant. "I'm fine."

"You've been quiet all day. Something happened."

She smirked sarcastically and rolled her eyes. "Nothing. It's not a big deal."

"What did he do?" he asked, pressing on.

"Nothing," she said, growing cold and icy. "Nothing. He was just Tony…you were right. No point in worrying about someone who doesn't give a damn about anyone else."

"I never said that."

"But it was implied." She smiled sadly, but wove her hand through his hair and held his cheek. "Don't worry, I'm not upset. You were right." She then retracted her hand and raised her eyebrow warningly. "But if you even think about trying his stunts on me, I'd cut off your most valuable asset."

Robert winced. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

Pepper smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. Robert's fingertips lightly grazed her cheek, pulling her towards him. And during their kiss, Robert asked her the question he had been meaning to ask for the last few days.

"Move in with me…" he suggested lightly.

She immediately stopped and slowly pulled back to look at him. She frowned, not understanding. "Robert, what are you talking about – I practically live here already-"

"Yeah, about four days out of seven."

"You want me to leave my place completely?" she asked dangerously.

"I…I understand if you still want to keep it."

Pepper frowned, thinking about it. "But what's the point of keeping my place if I'll be here?"

"You could sell it," he suggested carefully.

"Yeah, but what if-"She quickly stopped herself before she said the words in her head. _But what if we don't work?_ Quickly, she changed her strategy. "What if we get in a fight? Or I get angry – that's where I go to cool off. Sometimes, I just need to cool down and-"

"If we get in a fight, we can talk about it – take care of it together."

She didn't say anything at first. But the truth was echoing relentlessly in her mind. _I'm not ready. Not yet. I still need my place, more than you know._ "I-"

"No, it's fine you don't need to make up an excuse or anything, I understand," Robert interrupted. "If…if you're not ready that's fine. We can talk about it later, ok?"

She nodded, feeling terrible, even though she knew she had no reason to. "Ok," she repeated. "I'm sorry, Robert, I-" she stopped realizing something else. Why now?

"What?" Robert asked, and Pepper realized she had said her thoughts aloud.

"Why now?" she repeated. "Why do you want me to move in now?"

"As opposed to…last week?" Robert asked, eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Yes, as opposed to last week. Or last month. Or two months from now."

Robert blinked. "I don't-"

"Robert," she said slowly. "There is _nothing_ happening between Tony and I." She noticed his lip twitch and she immediately knew she had hit the right pressure point. This was it. This was what had been on _his_ mind. "You know that, don't you?"

"I…I know that," he hesitated. "No, I know that."

"So is that what this is really? To test to see if I'd rather spend all my time with Tony or with you? To see where you stand compared to him? The ultimate way for you to determine who I really love?" She was growing angry and frustrated, and Robert knew she had every right to be.

"That wasn't it, I was just-"

"You were _jealous_ of him? Robert, for the love of God, he came back from three months in the middle of a desert in a cave! And you're _jealous_?"

"You spend so much time with him, Virginia, what was I supposed to think?"

"I was worried! I told you that over and over again."

"Virginia, when someone is worried about someone else, they call for back up. Let a professional know about the problem. They don't move in with them!"

It took all the self-control she had to not slap him across the face. So instead, she threw the covers aside and went digging through her things in search of her pants. "You're being ridiculous," she spat angrily, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks for the second time that day. "You're making everything more complicated than it is. This isn't complicated. _None_ of this is complicated. He's my boss, he needs help, so I help him. That's _it._"

"So now it's all in present tense, right?" Robert taunted. "I thought you'd given up on him because he'd hurt you. But you're still going to go back to him, am I right?"

Pepper chuckled angrily and looked at him. "This is why I still need my own place," she said. And with that, she grabbed her purse and left the room retreating to the one place she had left. _Her_ home.

* * *

_**Next morning, 7:30 AM**_

Granted, it was a little early to call Pepper, even for Tony. But it was better than waiting for her to show up. At least this would show that he _was_ sorry, though it probably wouldn't change anything.

"Hello?" came the voice on the other end of the line. A _masculine _voice. Not Pepper.

Tony grimaced slightly. _Him_. "May I speak to Ms. Pepper Potts?"

The voice on the other end hesitated. And Tony heard him mutter under his breath, "Pepper? Who the…" Then his tone changed. "Oh, you mean _Virginia_."

"Yes, please," Tony raised an eyebrow questioningly as he poured himself a cup of coffee. It had never occurred to him that she would _actually_ go by "Virginia". Everyone at work called her Pepper, though if he recalled the origins of her nickname, he realized everyone only called her "Pepper" because he did.

"She left her phone at my place," he explained. "But she'll probably be back to pick it up soon."

"Excellent," Tony answered. "Do let her I know I called." _If only Pepper could see me now_, Tony gloated_. She'd be so proud of how polite and patient I am. I haven't even said anything mildly derogatory yet._

"Wait, is this Tony Stark? Virginia's employer?"

Tony closed his eyes. _Employer? That's…different._ "Yes, it is."

"Actually, if you happen to have a moment, I'd like to talk to you about a particular issue I'm having…" Robert started. It was about time he gave this asshole a piece of his mind.

**Long wait but long update so you people better not complain :) Teehee. I hope you liked it anyway. Don't forget to leave a review! I'm really busy despite this being my summer vacation so more reviews give me more reason to make time to finish this story!**

**xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Harry Potter is officially over – I watched it at midnight and was thoroughly depressed for the full 24 hours after it – then I watched it again. Lolz. WAH.**

**Oh! And I've started reading comics! X-23, Iron Man: Extremis and just finished some Astonishing X-Men (1-24) and working on some Cable and Deadpool. This makes me happy. :)**

**So that's what's going on in my life. Not that it's important. Moving on…**

**Chapter 8**

_**9:30 AM, Stark Mansion**_

"Sorry I'm late," Pepper quickly sputtered as she entered the house. Dropping her things on the kitchen counter.

Tony, for the first time, happened to be _upstairs_ when she arrived, and was making himself a sandwich with God-knew-what in it. Pepper frowned a little, not sure what the purple thing sticking out of his sandwich was. With his mouth still full, Tony checked one of the wall clocks. Then asked, confused, "You're late?"

She said nothing at first. "I usually show up around eight-thirty or nine, Tony."

He frowned, checked the wall clock again, and shrugged. "Oh."

"I left my-"

"You're phone was at your boyfriend's place," he interrupted. Dropping the rest of his sandwich on a plate to take down to the shop. "I called but he answered."

She nodded, trying not to look surprised. Robert hadn't mentioned that. But then again, she'd been at his place for a whole moment and a half; just long enough to pick up her phone and head out again without so much as a single glance his way.

"Ok…" Pepper hummed, ready to drop the entire subject. She handed him a thick file and when Tony didn't take it, she dropped it on the table. "The Army and Navy are interested in the suit-"

"They want the suit?" Tony interrupted.

She raised an eyebrow, warning him to shut up. "_No_" she said slowly. "They're interested in the technology behind the suit. That's their proposal- " she nodded at the file on the table. "—and they want to meet with the board of directors ASAP. I can set up a conference-"

"I never said the suit was for sale."

"The _technology—_that's what they want-"

"Neither of them are for sale," Tony interrupted again. He glanced through the file and Pepper watched him silently.

"So, that's it?" she checked. "No negotiation whatsoever, you're just not going to talk to them?"

Tony nodded, still glancing through the files. "Yeah…that's the plan," he said nonchalantly. Then he suddenly closed the file completely. "I refuse to read this."

Pepper sighed, but in the end, decided to humor him. "Why?"

He thought quickly. "I've been thinking about going green."

"Okay," Pepper said after a moment. She'd put the issue on the backburner for now. "Right, Mr. Stark, and-"

That did it – the way she said 'Mr. Stark' was enough to send a cold shiver down his spine. God damn it, how did she do that? "Alright, listen," Tony interrupted, not too interested in whatever she was about to say next anyway.

She sighed again and said nothing, waiting for him to continue. And he did. "About yesterday-"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Pepper said, changing her mind – she _didn't_ want to talk about this. She grabbed the file Tony had ignored and brought out another file full of papers on the table. "I'll need you to-"

Tony closed the file with his the pads of his fingers before she could open it. Pepper looked at him, eyes wide with surprise. "I was completely out of line yesterday and there was no need for me to attack you just because you were worried. This is me apologizing."

With everything that had happened these last few weeks – Tony's memories resurfacing, his admission into the hospital, even waking up next to him while he was sporting morning wood – Pepper knew there was no reason for her to be surprised. _Ever_. Yet, for some reason, an apology was enough to catch her off guard.

"Uh-"

"I get it if you're still pissed but-"

"No," Pepper told him. "No, I'm not upset-"

"Pepper, give me some credit. I'm not stupid," he smirked. "Insane and slowly losing my mind, maybe. But not stupid. Not yet."

"Tony-"

Well, at least she was using his first name. Still, he wasn't a fan of the tone she was using: that exasperated and pitiful tone.

"You're not insane," she said quietly.

"Unless "insane" is a term of endearment, you've got a lot of explaining to do. The way you've been using the term around me these last ten years made me think it was my middle name."

"You know what I mean."

Tony didn't answer her, his silence sufficient enough. _Yes, I am insane._ "So…are we good?" he said instead.

Pepper nodded, hesitantly. But Tony jumped at the opportunity, beaming. "Excellent!" he exclaimed as he grinned, grabbing his plate with the sandwich. He then glanced again at the paper on the table as he left for the shop. "Still not reading that, Potts."

"Tony, but-"

He shook his head as he left. "Going green!" he yelled over his shoulder. And even though he couldn't see her, he knew she was smiling.

Tony's first task of the day was now successfully complete. But he still had things to take care of downstairs; like the wine bottle under his desk.

He'd only had a glass, just before Pepper had arrived but he knew he would get "the lecture" for drinking so early in the morning.

* * *

_**Two hours earlier**_

"Hello? This is Robert."

Tony grimaced slightly. _Him_. "May I speak to Ms. Pepper Potts?"

"Pepper? Who the…" Then his tone changed. "Oh, you mean _Virginia_."

"Yes, please."

"She left her phone at my place," he explained. "But she'll probably be back to pick it up soon."

"Excellent," Tony answered. "Do let her I know I called." _If only Pepper could see me now_, Tony gloated_. She'd be so proud of how polite and patient I am. I haven't even said anything mildly derogatory yet._

"Wait, is this Tony Stark? Virginia's employer?"

"Yes, it is."

"Actually, if you happen to have a moment, I'd like to talk to you about a particular issue I'm having…" Robert started.

"Shoot," Tony answered, trying to keep his tone light though he knew _exactly_ what Robert wanted to talk about. "As long as this isn't an interview. I've been warned to avoid those."

Robert ignored the joke. "I know this isn't really my place and it's really none of your concern but I'm worried…"

_That's right, Smart Guy_, Tony silently taunted. _Change tactics_. Robert must have remembered that even though he didn't like Tony, the man still had the assets to make any unfortunate event look like an accident. And not a single person would question what had happened if Tony said not to.

"Right…" Tony prompted, his tone making it seem like he was busy working on something else.

"Virginia just seems distant," he finally said, getting to the point. "I'm just worried and I'm not sure if it's work…"

Tony was impressed. Not that Robert had really said much but the man had balls to confront him. Or maybe he was just stupid. Or jealous.

Oh. That explained it. Jealous people did stupid things like call their girlfriends' bosses and tell them to back off.

"And I've noticed she's been spending a lot of time at…'work'."

Tony could practically see the quotations around the word "work". "So this is a social call," Tony checked. "You're just checking up on Pepper? Because I don't spend nearly enough time with her to have a list of her loyalties. But I have known her for almost ten years and I can assure you, she is the most trustworthy person I've ever met. Still, this seems more like a conversation you should be having with her as opposed to me-"

"She just seems distant," Robert mended, realizing his mistake. "And I'm not sure if I-"

That was Tony's opportunity. As soon as Robert mentioned "I", Tony had won. All he had to do know was flip the tables – completely. "Oh, _now_ I get it…you want to see what I can do from my end. Well, if you needed help you just had to say so…"

"Actually, I-"

There was that word again. "I'll tell you what," Tony said, enjoying this all too much. "I'll see what I can do from my end-"

"With all due respect, Mr. Stark, I didn't call to be played with. I'm worried and I'm giving you a simple warning. That's it."

Tony said nothing. Now he _really_ hated this guy. And he knew quite well that he didn't have to listen to this psycho go on about how Tony was trying to steal his girlfriend. He had better things to do and he nothing to prove. But just as he was about to hang up on him, he realized something else.

If Robert was this ticked, so was Pepper. Of course, Tony had known all his late night calls for help were putting a strain on Pepper's relationship; even if most of those calls were made by JARVIS against Tony's wishes. If he helped patch things between the two of them, she'd be happier. And even though Tony didn't give even a little damn about this Robert character, he cared about Pepper.

So he had a choice.

Meanwhile, Robert realized he had just crossed a line. A very dangerous line. He shouldn't be surprised if he woke up the next morning with an empty bank account and a note taped to the back of his shirt that read: _Love, Your Friendly Neighborhood Iron-Man. Enjoy homelessness._

"Listen-" Robert tried.

But Tony interrupted. "From what I'm hearing, it sounds like _you_ really screwed up." Tony was sure to emphasize that word – you. This had nothing to do with Tony. "After work, I suggest you get her a double chocolate chip frappuccino. _Double_ chocolate because that's how badly you've messed up. And _after_ work – not for lunch. Let her have the shitty coffee at the office for lunch – she'll appreciate the Starbucks more. She's going to be skeptical because of the calories so tell her you put in soy milk. It obviously doesn't do much in the big picture but it usually keeps her quiet. And don't even think about not paying the extra two dollars, just getting skim milk and then lying to her about it – she can taste the difference. Then for the next hour or so, shut up. Don't say anything – including an apology. Don't talk unless completely necessary-"

"How do you-?" Robert started to ask skeptically.

Tony ignored the outburst. "Are you paying attention? You can only apologize after one or two hours and be _gentle. _And don't expect her to say much when you apologize. If she doesn't say anything, that usually means you won and you're in the clear. And don't take her out to dinner either – she'll feel bribed. Are we done?"

Robert didn't like that he was taking advice from Tony – especially since his intention was to warn _him_. So instead of being grateful, he opted to say nothing at all.

"Now, Robert, I'm going to only say this once," Tony said carefully in that voice he reserved for a particularly persistent reporter or that member of the board he just could not stand. "If you ever attempt to contact me in the future, I will ruin you in every legal and illegal way possible. I advise you note that I possess the assets to do whatever I want to whomever I want. And when annoyance is involved you'll find my motivation increases exponentially."

Tony hung up, tossing his phone aside. "JARVIS, I'm going to need you to do me a wonderful favor."

_Something legal, I hope?_

"Is tampering with phone records legal?"

_According to—_

"Don't answer that. If I get in trouble I can claim to have not known."

_That argument rarely works in the court of law._

Tony ignored him. "JARVIS, I want you to go tap into Pepper's phone and access her call logs. The conversation I just had…make it look like it lasted twenty three seconds."

_Twenty-three, Sir?_

"Sounds innocent enough. Actually, make it twenty-three point one seven seconds. That sounds innocent."

_Anything else, Sir? Perhaps a restraining order on your new friend?_

"You can do that?"

_No, Sir._

Tony seemed disappointed. "Oh."

_This guy better not be as big of an asshole as he makes himself out to be,_ Tony thought to himself. If he was, then he'd have no problem clearing his bank account and giving the cash to charity. But Tony decided to give this Robert character the benefit of the doubt – he couldn't be that bad; he was just pissed off now.

"Bring up the sketches for the portable suit," Tony instructed, ready to take his mind off things. But distraction didn't come so easily and for the first time, he realized just how well he knew his assistant.

How on Earth had he known what coffee to get her, when to talk to her if seeking forgiveness and how to play his cards? Had he, all this time, actually been paying attention?

Impossible – he hadn't remembered her birthday once in ten years. That wasn't exactly an indication of observance.

But he did know that she had a sweet tooth, especially when she was stressed. And he knew from experience _exactly_ how to play his cards when apologizing; he got himself into major trouble on average twice a week – and that was on good days.

To be honest, Tony was already starting to regret helping the ingrate. He hated Robert – but he liked Pepper. And he liked her enough to make sure she was happy. And if "Robert" was attached to Pepper's "happy", then so be it.

Because the fact of the matter was, despite what she had said months ago, Tony was _not_ all Pepper had - even though the reverse was true.

Tony stopped what he was doing for a moment, frowning as the truth of that statement dawned on him.

He remembered that day – months ago, though now it felt like a lifetime ago.

"_Pepper, how big are your hands?"_

"_What?"_

"_Hands, Pepper – how big are your hands?"_

"_I don't-"_

"_Never mind, just get down here. I need you."_

Tony chuckled to himself as he went through the plans for the suit.

"_Hands, let me see them." Pepper lifts up her hands hesitantly. "Oh wow. They are small. Very petite. I just need your help for a second."_

"_Oh, my God, is that the thing that's keeping you alive?"_

"_It was. It is now an antique and I just ran into a little speed bump…it's nothing, just a little snag – there's an exposed wire and it's causing a little bit of a short."_

"_Is it safe?"_

"_Yeah, it's like Operation, you just don't let it touch the socket wall or it goes 'beep'."_

"_What do you mean, "Operation"?"_

"_Never mind."_

"JARVIS," Tony called out as he did the math for the new suit, laughing at the memory. "Do we have "Operation" lying around?"

"_Operation", Sir?_

"You know – the game? Board game? Operation? Where is that?"

_Sir, my capabilities are numerous but, unfortunately, I do not have a compiled list of games in this household. I can, however, order one._

"Yeah, do that actually. It's easier than looking for the game," Tony said, his mind drifting again.

"_There's pus!" Pepper whines, wrinkling her nose as she pulls the wire. "It smells!"_

"_Yeah it does…now make sure that when you pull it out you don't – there's a magnet at the end of it! That was it. You just pulled it out. Okay…I was not expecting – DON'T put it back in!"_

"_I thought you said this was safe!"_

"_You gotta switch it out really quick. Right now, okay?"_

"_Tony? It's going to be okay. I'm going to make this okay."_

"_Let's hope…Okay, you're going to attach that to the base plate…yeah, see? Was that so hard? That was fun, right?" He grins, almost maniacally at her fearful eyes._

"_Are you okay?"_

"_Yeah, I feel great."_

"_Don't ever, ever, ever, ever ask me to do anything like that ever again."_

"_I don't have anyone – but you."_

"Not anymore," Tony spoke under his breath, now trying to focus on his work. Stupid memories. It was as if all his best memories were now tainted. _You're alone, Tony._ His mind taunted – not that he didn't already know that.

But to his surprise, the pain that followed the realization didn't linger. It didn't linger because he had already accepted this truth long ago.

Still, he needed a drink.

* * *

_**6:30 PM**_

Usually, Pepper didn't mind calling Robert to pick her up from the office and drop her off at Tony's so that she could pick up her car. Happy usually drove her between the two places during work hours – at least, when he wasn't boxing/wrestling with Tony. But he'd gone home early today, leaving her stranded. And now she was stuck calling her boyfriend for help – and her ego didn't like it.

Robert drove by just minutes after she called and Pepper refused to even look at him, pouting instead.

"Hey," Robert greeted.

"Hey," she half grunted back as she shut the door behind her. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted it – sitting peacefully in the cup holder.

She frowned at him and took it anyway. "Double chocolate chip?" she asked, skeptically.

"Uh-huh," he answered, fearing her answer.

"That's too many calories."

_This guy is good_, Robert thought to himself. "I put in soy milk."

Pepper frowned again, eyeing him carefully – but Robert was focused on the road. She took a quick sip out of her drink. Satisfied, she added, "This doesn't mean I forgive you, you know."

Robert smiled. "Alright, Virginia."

"It's not funny," she warned him.

"Right. My mistake."

**Review prease. Thank you prease.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I wonder how long these fast updates are going to last…**

**Chapter 9**

Tony was disappearing.

Of course, for a full week, she hadn't been the least bit suspicious. But, naturally, he went out of his way to ensure Pepper knew nothing and suspected nothing. So it wasn't until she kept quiet, stood still, and allowed her mind to reflect upon what had happened these last few days that she began to realize that something was missing.

He wasn't difficult - not even a little, and at this point there was nothing she wanted more than a sense of normalcy – even if that meant a simple, surface argument: just a little one. He attended all his meetings without a single reminder on Pepper's part, signed every sheet of paper handed to him (as long as it was she who presented them) and had even drafted an entire speech. The last time he had drafted a speech was – actually, now that she thought about it, there had been no such time. And there was only one valid reason for his sudden responsibility.

He was avoiding her – trying to keep his distance from her.

She almost dismissed the notion as soon as the thought penetrated her mind. But she quickly realized she had no other ideas to follow. Yet, this only triggered another question: Why? Why would he avoid her?

It was this subsequent question that probably explained why she was standing in the corner of his shop – spying on him.

He would never notice she was there. He was too wrapped up in whatever it was he was doing. And she hadn't chosen some obscure place to hide herself; she was standing in plain sight and quietly watched him talk to himself – or perhaps, more accurately, to JARVIS.

"JARVIS, are the mechanics stable for the portable suit?" he asked.

Portable suit? Why and when on Earth would he ever need a portable suit?

_The suit is stable. Shall I produce a render?_

"Might as well make yourself useless."

_Do you mean "useful"?_

"Don't be cheeky."

_The render is complete, Sir._

Tony turned to look at one of his computers and frowned. "Not bad. I kind of miss the gold, though. The silver looks too peaceful."

_Sir, the suit's primary purpose is its portability and adding the gold-titanium—_

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't _ask_ for an explanation, JARVIS. Not adding the gold was my idea, remember?"

_Of course, Sir._

"You're being cheeky again."

_Shall I begin fabrication?_

"Knock yourself out. And while you're at it shoot Fury a message, let him know I'm done with his homework assignment. Do you need anything?"

When JARVIS didn't answer, Tony asked again, "Do you need anything?"

"Pepper!"

She jumped slightly and Tony turned around, spinning a little in his chair and wiped his greasy hands on a nearby rag. "Do you need anything?" he repeated, his eyes looking expectant.

Pepper lifted up a few sheets of paper. "I need your autograph," she told him.

Tony seemed to like that, and his eyes gleamed slightly as he smirked. "My autograph?" he asked as she handed him the documents. "Hmm…I like that. It makes whatever I'm signing seem that much more important."

"Whatever gives your ego a momentary high," Pepper muttered as she eyed him, waiting for him to sign.

But his mind had already wandered off. "How long until the suit is complete, JARVIS?"

_Approximately five hours, Sir._

"Why is it going to take so long? This isn't why I pay you the big bucks."

_It will take three and a half hours without the red paint, Sir._

"But then it would be all silver – and I have a different suit in mind for that."

_Unfortunately, you cannot eat your cake and have it._

"Is that a challenge?"

_Shall I continue the fabrication with or without the paint, Sir?_

Tony stopped signing and frowned at Pepper. "He always does that," he accused as he reported his AI to his assistant. "He always changes the subject when I'm about to make a point."

"He gets it from you," Pepper said dryly, teeth clenched. But the truth behind her monotonous tone and aggravated scowl was a flame of jealousy. And it wasn't long before frustration arose as well. She was _jealous_ of Tony's goddamn computer; or more specifically that Tony had a longer conversation with JARVIS than he did with her.

"JARVIS, paint it."

_Of course, Sir. Would you like fries with that?_

"You really are getting cheeky-"

Pepper sighed obnoxiously, wrinkling her nose. Was it JARVIS she was angry with – or Tony for hanging on so tightly to him? _It's a goddamn computer_, she thought to herself. "Rhodey called," she said, hoping that was enough to grasp most of Tony's attention.

It worked. Tony signed the last sheet of paper and looked up at her, eyebrow raised curiously. "Did he really? Where is that moron anyway?"

"He's been in Afghanistan," she reminded him. "Your trips to Gulmira had to be covered by officials. So they called him in."

"Oh," he said, almost sheepishly. "JARVIS, can-"

"Jesus Christ, Tony," Pepper spat suddenly, grabbing her things.

Tony's eyes widened. "What?"

"Nothing – just, do you have to depend on JARVIS for every little detail-"

He was silent. Then, with a nod of his head, answered, "Yes! Pepper, I can't remember by own birthday unless someone gives me a heads up-"

"Exactly. _Someone_," Pepper said, stressing the word.

"Pepper, where is this coming from? I'm-" he raised his eyebrow and nodded slowly, wincing as he understood and as the meaning of her words became apparent. "Oh…"

She nodded, rolling her eyes. "Right," she muttered to herself. "I'll just be upstairs – doing what I have been doing for the last ten years and being completely ignored for it."

"Pepper…" Tony whined, realizing that it wasn't like her to throw a fit over something so insignificant.

Tony honestly thought she wouldn't notice the gap he was creating between the two of them – the intentional rift now forming. He was doing it on purpose – there was very little Tony did that wasn't for an underlying reason. She was moving on – she had a boyfriend, the potential for a family. While in his case, _she_ was the only family he had left. And if Pepper was bound to suddenly disappear someday, he might as well start getting used to the notion now. He would be alone, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it if she just disappeared suddenly.

So he might as well start practicing now.

And now she was sulking, angry that she was being ignored. "Pepper," he called again.

"What, _Mr. Stark_?" she spat back.

Tony bit his lip to keep himself from laughing – nevertheless, a small giggle escaped him and Pepper's eyes _became_ flaming pits of fire.

"Ms. Potts, are you _pouting_?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"No," she spat again.

"You're _jealous_ of JARVIS?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow. "JARVIS, what do you think about all of this?"

"I don't _want_ to know what JARVIS thinks!" she yelled back as she left the room, the sound of her stilettos touching the floor echoing after her.

_Sir, I do not think that was the wisest course of action._

"Don't worry. She'll be back."

_And what makes you so sure?_

At that exact moment, Pepper walked back in, a pout still upon her face. She refused to look at Tony, however. Instead, she grabbed the few documents she had left behind and stalked out of the room again.

Tony sucked in his lips to keep from laughing at her childishness. "I still love you," he said. Then, almost as an afterthought, he hastily added, "And everything you do."

Pepper didn't say anything, but he noticed the crease along her forehead disappear. Still, she left the room without a single glance his direction.

Tony laughed as she turned around in his chair, spinning back around. His smile remained with him.

* * *

_**4:00 PM, Three hours later**_

"So I heard you tried to kill yourself," came a familiar voice at the door of the shop. Tony smiled, not bothering to turn around – quite certain of whose voice it was. "I also heard you made a portable suit. I'm more interested in the second one because the first one sounds like complete bullshit."

"How was the Middle East?" Tony asked, still refusing to turn around.

"Hot," came his answer. "How's house arrest?"

"Ha-ha."

"Mmm," Rhodey hummed, peeking around for something new, different and/or exciting. There was usually something lying around he could mess around with for a full five minutes. "So where's the new suit?"

"JARVIS is still working on it."

"Can I see it anyway?"

"JARVIS doesn't like being rushed," Tony said, finally turning around. "He gets defensive and cranky."

_Sir, you didn't program either of those emotions into my computing system._

"See what I mean?" Tony explained.

"So…I can't see the suit?" Rhodey checked – just to make sure.

"Unless you plan on waiting around for the next two hours, then no."

"You got any beer?" Rhodey asked. "Or any of that pizza left from New York? That was good-"

"I hate beer-"

"I didn't ask your personal opinion," Rhodey pointed out.

"And why the hell would I have pizza from New York?"

"Obie brought some. You know – before he went-" Rhodey pointed to his head with his index fingers and drew a few circles in the air.

"That was two months ago," Tony reminded him.

"So do you have it?"

"When did you get back?" Tony asked suddenly, getting up to follow his friend out the shop.

"About two hours ago," Rhodey answered. "Which reminds me - Tony?"

"What?"

He stood still, eyeing his friend. "Don't ever blow shit up in _my_ active war zone ever _again_. Do you know how much goddamn paperwork I had to take care of? And the press wouldn't get off my back, the Air Force wouldn't back me up either-"

"No, it's fine, I'm not heading down there any more-"

"See, what I mean – you still don't get it. I don't want your suits flying around in Gulmira-"

"I won't be in Gulmira-"

"-Or anywhere my birds are, you got it?"

Tony shrugged once and his lip curled downward. "No flying unless I tell you first. Deal."

"Jesus, Tony…"

"Alright, I won't do it again," Tony answered hastily.

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "Yes, you will."

Tony shrugged. "Yeah, I will."

"So…can I have it?" Rhodey asked hesitantly.

"Have what?"

"The suit. The new one – the portable one."

"No!" Tony exclaimed. "I've been working on it for a while. It's my project and it's due today."

"The last time I checked you were physically incapable of keeping to a delivery date," Rhodey said, grabbing some gadget on Tony's table as they left the shop and made their way upstairs. His fingers prodded it for a while and when he decided he didn't know its purpose he handed it back to Tony. "Wait – are you serious? You're making the suit for someone else?"

"Something like that," Tony answered, sticking Rhodey's abandoned toy in his pocket.

"Tony?" Pepper called from upstairs just as Tony and Rhodey reached the floor. Her back was towards the stairs and her things were already packed. It wasn't until she grabbed her purse and her keys that she finally turned around. "The Jackson Pollock, Tony. Larry's offering a second one. I need an answer and I need it now."

"Did I ever buy the first one?" Tony deflected instead.

"Yes or _no_?" Pepper questioned again, raising an eyebrow threateningly as she approached them.

"She looks pissed," Rhodey whispered in Tony's ear.

"That's because she is," Tony muttered back. Then to Pepper, he answered, "Sure, why not."

Pepper nodded to him, not entirely interested in whatever else he had to say beyond this point. Instead, she focused her attention on Rhodey and smiled. "Hey, Rhodes, I didn't even hear you come in."

Rhodey beamed, grateful enough that he wasn't within radius of Pepper's wrath. "I came in through the garage."

"How have you been?" she asked as she hugged him tightly. "How was Afghanistan – everything go well?"

Rhodes laughed. "It was fine."

"That's not what you told me," Tony piped in. But his only reply Rhodey elbowing him swiftly in his gut.

It was then that Tony realized something else. "You're leaving early."

"Tony, you just can't shut up, can you?" Rhodey seethed.

Tony looked lost. "What did I say?"

"Oh, so you don't really care about what time I show up but you keep up with when I leave, right?" Pepper muttered.

"I never _said_-" Tony started with a gentle roll of his eyes.

"It's okay," Pepper said, smiling obnoxiously. "JARVIS can you keep you company."

Rhodey just about snorted at Pepper's comment. When Tony growled menacingly at him, he quickly sucked in his lips and tried his hardest not to laugh. "JARVIS is cranky," Tony tried to explain. "Almost as cranky as you nowadays."

"Do you need anything else?" Pepper asked quickly, obviously in a hurry. And Tony noticed immediately.

"Where are you trying to fly off to? Why are you in a hurry?"

"I have plans."

"Wait a minute…" Tony paused, thinking to himself as he did the math. "It's not your birthday is it?" Then to himself he muttered, "Of course it's not your birthday…that was about five months ago…it can't be your birthday-"

"I just have plans!" Pepper interrupted.

"I don't like it when you have plans."

"Hmm," she hummed back in reply, eyes still cold. "Goodbye, Tony," she added and ignored his protest after her.

"What did you do?" Rhodes asked, curiosity taking over.

"It's none of your business," Tony mumbled back – but his heart wasn't in the argument anymore. He just didn't understand why – or _know_ where is heart was.

It was his fault Pepper had plans. This is what he had wanted, wasn't it? This was all his doing – ensuring that Pepper made up with that asshole – he had planned this.

_This is what I want_, he reminded himself.

* * *

Robert was taking her out to an early dinner tonight – he had a late meeting to go to so he had set aside some time just for the two of them. And during their dinner, Pepper noticed it was the first time she was able to focus on every word that left Robert's lips. Not once did Tony Stark's name arise during conversation and it was almost as if the two of them had never even had their fight just a few days back.

But that didn't mean her heart was necessarily there.

She couldn't help but think that something was missing – there was something she used to have, just a few weeks ago, that she lacked now. And Pepper couldn't place her finger on it.

What was it? What was she missing? Isn't this what she wanted? For her life at work to reach some sort of placid stability, for Tony to recede towards the back of her life and for her to be able to focus on her future – her personal future?

_This is what I wanted._

She sighed to herself as Robert asked for the bill. Maybe she was just so used to his spontaneity and recklessness, that it had become a part of her life. And now that those aspects of him seemed to have disappeared, she didn't know what to do anymore. He was so…quiet now, much more peaceful than he'd ever been. He had a longer conversation with JARVIS than he did with her. She used to feel _needed_; more than Tony's assistant. Maybe even a friend. Where was that now?Even his recent problems with his memories of Afghanistan-

Pepper perked up instantly as worry took over. His memories…the attacks, had they happened again without her knowing? No, they couldn't have – she would have noticed. JARVIS would have told her, even if Tony tried to keep it all a secret. No – those had to have stopped. He was fine…

She began to relax again, sighing quietly. As long as Tony was fine and healthy, then she was happy. She certainly didn't miss the influx of memories that had arrived earlier; and the sooner they disappeared the better. But that still didn't explain why she suddenly felt an empty void in her soul. What was she missing?

_This is what I wanted._

No. No it wasn't. She was missing something. A friendship – and she had to go find it.

**This one was pretty short (or, at least, shorter than most of the other ones). Hope you like it anyway. **

**Don't forget to leave a review please? Thanks, loves.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, there.**

**Chapter 10**

"Now, that's not fair!"

"It's perfectly fair," Tony argued back, going through his files at Stark Industries. For the fifth time that minute, he considered programming JARVIS into the Stark Industries' current software – then quickly realized he would rather keep technology like JARVIS to himself.

"But I'm your friend," Rhodey said, defending himself.

"I don't see what that has to do with anything. The point of the matter is that you're with Air Force."

"And so?"

"What do you mean 'and so', that's the whole point of this conversation."

"But that's separate."

"No," Tony said shaking his head without looking at him. "You're part of The Air Force, which makes you off limits."

"I swear if you give me the suit, I won't take it to the army."

Tony rolled his eyes and grimaced to himself as he shut down the computer and grabbed his keys. "I already said no, Rhodes."

"But you promised!"

"Bullshit," Tony muttered to herself as he walked toward the garage. He was stopped on the way, handed a full stack of papers to look through. Tony reluctantly accepted them, knowing quite well Pepper would be the one to peruse through the documents labeled "URGENT".

"I won't tell anyone."

"Rhodey, your priority is The Air Force. Always will be. What do you think they're going to do once they find out I decided to give you a suit as your Christmas present? Forget it. You can play around with them but you're not taking any-"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Stark," someone-or-other's secretary greeted as she walked past him.

"Hi-" Tony answered back cordially. But back to Rhodey he said much more harshly, "And why are you still following me?"

"Mr. Stark-"

Tony's ears perked up at the familiar voice directly behind him. He whirled around and she nearly rammed into him but he didn't seem to notice. "Ah, excellent! These are for you."

He dropped the heavy stack of papers into Pepper's hands, but she didn't seem perturbed.

"Meeting at three," Pepper rattled off, as if reading from a notebook.

"When is that?" Tony asked.

"An hour ago," she answered smoothly.

"I assume you were there, then?"

"I've already e-mailed you the minutes, JARVIS should have printed it out by now – they're on your desk at home. Also, ABC, CNN and CNBC are all requesting interviews-"

"Not interested-" Tony interrupted offhandedly, not even looking at her as the three of them approached the main exit towards the parking lot.

"As well as Ellen and _The Rolling Stone_-"

"Ellen?" Tony seemed to perk up, slowing down just slightly.

"So I'm going to…decline the first three and absorb and deflect for Ellen and _The Rolling Stone_?" Pepper checked, making a note on her phone.

"I think you just read my mind, Potts."

"That's what I'm here for," Pepper sighed back, the words coming from her mouth like a memorized script. "Also, I know you're not interested in sharing the reactor technology but The Air Force _really_ would-"

"Ah ha!" Rhodey exclaimed, pointing out Tony. However, Tony suddenly wasn't as friendly as he was five minutes ago and instead of rolling his eyes or telling him to shut up, he glared at him threateningly.

"I'm not meeting with-"

"It's out of your jurisdiction now, the board's already agreed to a meeting which means you'll be attending," Pepper interrupted, handing him a sheet of paper. "Next week Tuesday and I can't cover for you."

"Is that it?" Tony asked, as if ready to be rid of her. He scanned the sheet of paper before folding it twice and stuffing it into his right pocket.

"That's all, Mr. Stark," she answered quickly before breaking away from the two of them and disappearing down a hallway.

Rhodey frowned after her, then at Tony. "What did you do?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" Tony asked, not even bother to look at him.

"What was _that_?"

"You're not being very clear."

As they approached Tony's car, Rhodey stood by, still demanding some sort of explanation. "You skipped the last board meeting," he instantly deduced. "Didn't you?"

"What makes you think that? And I _didn't_ skip that meeting," Tony added. He _remembered _that particular meeting. Well, he remembered almost falling asleep during the last five minutes.

"The Great Wall of China was probably less obvious than whatever you two are mad at each other about."

Tony ignored him, knowing quite well that what he was saying was true. _Two weeks in the making_, he thought to himself. In just two weeks, he'd managed to push Pepper far enough away that their longest conversation lasted about three and a half minutes and was completely devoid of eye contact. This gave her much more time at home with Robert-what's-his-face and meant he had longer conversations with JARVIS.

Which was all right, he supposed. Still, it took a little getting used to. He missed smiling at her. And talking to her about anything other than work.

"So, I'm right, then?" Rhodes checked, with a raise of his eyebrow.

Tony nodded halfheartedly. "Sure, Rhodes," he answered before getting into the car.

"So can I get the suit?" Rhodey asked again, knocking on the window on the passenger side.

Tony smirked at that, shaking his head as he drove off, on his way back home. Alone.

_This is what you wanted_, he reminded himself, just as the sorrow started to crush him once more.

It was better this way anyway – he didn't fit in her life anymore. Despite how much he despised her boyfriend, Robert was _her_ choice. _He_ was the priority, and Tony was just getting in the way. She would move on and she would be happier. _This is what I wanted – no, this is what I _want_._

Besides, now that she wasn't with Tony as often, she didn't know about the nightmares that he still had. Granted, nightmares were a significant improvement from the attacks he used to get almost twice a week. Nightmares he could take care of himself as long as he had a glass of wine as soon as he woke up. And she didn't know about those either – no need to call her back in again just as she was beginning to move forward.

_This is what I want._

* * *

_**Next morning, 8:30 AM**_

"I'm going to be late for work," Pepper giggled childishly between his kisses.

"Well, so am I then," Robert answered, ignoring her rationality.

"We can't _both_ be late-" she explained, though she wasn't putting much effort into tearing herself away from him either. "Idiot," she added as an afterthought.

Robert pouted. "That's not very nice."

"Stop…stop!" she squealed, holding his hands at her hips. "It's time to go. And you're not helping!"

"Alright, fine," he agreed, leaving his hands on her waist, but remaining close to her.

"You're going to have to let go," she reminded him.

"I don't think that's necessary."

"Oh, it's very necessary-"

"You sure?"

"I'm positive – because if you hold on to me I might have to call for a restraining order."

"I'm afraid you can't do that," Robert said offhandedly.

"Really?" Pepper asked, raising an eyebrow. "And why not?"

"Because…" he leaned closer so he was right by her ear. "You still have yet to agree to move in with me."

"Robert!" she exclaimed, pushing him away and grabbing her purse before he could stop her. She rolled her eyes, grinning. "You've been asking all week!"

"Well, you haven't said 'yes' yet!" he answered back.

She laughed, waiting for him by the door. "So…?" she pouted.

"Is that a 'yes'?" Robert asked, twisting his head to the side.

"That's a 'maybe'," Pepper answered.

He shook his head once. "Nope…not good enough. Not even close."

She pretended to think about. Then quietly told him, "Why not?" before bounding out of the apartment.

"Wait…is _that_ a 'yes'?" Robert called after her.

She turned around, smiling broadly and nodded. "Yes!" she yelled back and watched her boyfriend do a hopelessly uncoordinated happy dance by the door.

Pepper laughed again walking towards her car in the lot. She found herself still smiling even as she drove out of the driveway.

She could picture a life with Robert – a permanent one. He was good for her, even if she didn't know quite what that meant. But what they had now was working, despite their latest argument two weeks ago; and probably their worst ever. Still, if they had made it out of that one, then they _must_ have something going for them…

Her smile faded slightly though as she set her mind on her destination. Going to Tony's was never something she dreaded…well, not usually. But as of late it had just been…well, "boring" wasn't exactly the best word she could think of but it was quite accurate.

He just seemed…a little off, desperate to be alone. She could tell just by looking at him, and noticing that he didn't ever look back and that all their conversations ended with "Mr. Stark" or "Ms. Potts".

So she had decided that the best way to preserve their friendship was to give him the space he needed. For the last few weeks, his personal space always had her in it, especially after his admission into the hospital. But now that he was better, she decided now was the best time to leave him be.

Unfortunately, that plan had backfired and now she was nothing more than his assistant.

She sighed, deciding to ignore the entire subject. He'd be fine – he always was. And in time, she'd get to the bottom of it all. But for now, she needed to think about renting out her place.

* * *

It was brilliant.

Bringing it back – after almost 40 years, bringing it all back.

The idea had occurred to him at about five in the morning after a stupid nightmare that was really a complete recap of his three months in a cave. After that, he'd gone down to work in the shop, unable to get back to sleep. That was when he'd found one of his dad's old notebooks, stashed underneath a pile of God-knows-what, right next to the Sort-These-Out-Later pile. Notes on an event that had taken place about two years before his passing.

Notes about a particular expo that had been held in Flushing, New York.

Brilliant, really.

Of course, just moments after the idea had popped into his head, he had realized putting all of it together would require work. And meetings. He shuddered.

It would be enough to take his mind off…well, everything, really. And the idea was truly perfect – to put together the long forgotten Stark expo: a new reign, led by Tony Stark, The Iron Man. Not Tony Stark, the usually drunk, genius billionaire. His new legacy: to give a little something to mankind and to leave his fingerprint on the world.

Egotistical? Maybe. He wasn't quite sure. But nevertheless, it sounded like a damn good idea.

And he'd been on it for the last few hours – ordering JARVIS to bring up data from the last few expos and adding up estimations for costs. And once the numbers had finally been crunched, sometime around nine in the morning, he realized that if he worked efficiently and if everything was approved – he could get it all going in a matter of months.

It was his new project – and he knew it was worthwhile. And needless to say, it was a bit of a challenge. He needed one, especially now.

"Mr. Stark…what on _Earth-_" Tony half turned around at Pepper's voice.

"Hi, Potts, what's up?" he greeted before his focusing attention back on the screens in front of him. He understood her surprise – the place was a mess.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not sure which piece of paper or which monitor to look at in order to get the information she needed.

"Nothing, it's not important-" he quickly said.

"What's this?"

He turned again to find her holding up a half empty wine bottle.

_Oops_, Tony thought to himself. He'd forgotten to move that. "I…had a snack," Tony answered.

"Okay…" she hummed, placing it back where she found it. She said nothing else, watching him as he scanned a few papers. And as he did so, she noticed something that she hadn't seen in some time now. His eyes…they seemed brighter, warmer…maybe even hopeful. Whatever he was working on, it was important to him.

So she quietly left him to his devices and was sure to let Ellen DeGeneres's secretary know that she'd contact her as soon as Tony was out of his meeting.

Tony didn't even process her departure. Instead, his mind was working at lightning speeds. This was feasible…he could do this. This was _possible_.

He had a few calls to make.

* * *

Pepper noticed the pattern immediately. Whenever he was downstairs, working on that new project of his, he was at peace. He wasn't necessarily happier than usual, nor did he smile more often, but she could tell that he believed in whatever he was trying to piece together. And judging from the many documents lying all over the place, it wasn't anything mechanical. She could only hope his new project wouldn't require a lawyer in the end.

But as soon as he was back upstairs or at Stark Industries, he was gone again – back to normal, or whatever "normal" was nowadays. A withdrawn and almost possessed Tony, who answered everything practically in monotone and whose eyes were as hard and cold as steel.

She wanted the other extreme. Two years ago, she probably would have prayed for Tony to calm down, to become less destructive and impulsive, but she craved that man now. She missed him. Desperately – and now she felt like a stranger in her own house.

Wait, _what_? _This isn't your house, Pepper_, she reminded herself. _This is where you work. _

And so? Why couldn't work be a little more impulsive…like before?

Where was Tony?

She noticed him when he was upstairs once: he'd brought one of the many documents in the shop with him and was looking through it. When she glanced at the sheet of paper, she saw it was a long list of numbers and immediately knew he was adding them up in his head. She smiled to herself…his mental math always seemed to amuse her

But then Pepper looked back at Tony, and saw his cold eyes. And her smile vanished. "Mr. Stark?" she called to him, hesitantly.

He hummed at her, holding up his finger to indicate that he couldn't answer her yet. His eyes darted at the numbers for another half minute before he looked at her. "Yes?" he asked, sounding tired.

Now that he was paying attention, she realized she didn't know what it was she wanted to say. What was she supposed to ask, anyway? In the end, she quietly and hesitantly said, "Are…are you alright?"

He frowned, his steel eyes melting slightly. "What?" he asked.

"Are you okay?" she repeated.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Just…is there anything I can do?"

Tony didn't answer at first. He just looked at her, stunned.

She faltered under his scrutiny. "I…are you okay?"

Still, he said nothing. Then, after a brief moment, he slowly nodded, as if unsure he could handle the simple movement. "I'm fine, Pepper," he told her, still nodding mechanically.

"Alright…" she said, not sure how to address him. Calling him Tony suddenly seemed…out of place. And she hated that. "Tony," she decided anyway. "Alright."

He was still looking at her, as if analyzing her expression. Pepper, not sure what else to do, took the sheet of paper, he'd been looking at and glanced at the numbers. But instead of focusing her attention on those, she checked the subject. _Stark Expo – Partial Logistics and Financing_.

The words meant nothing to her, so she looked back at the numbers again. "Did you just add them all?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered.

"What was it?"

"About twenty five million," he told her.

"No, the exact number."

Tony had to think back, even though he had just crunched the numbers. She had distracted him. "Twenty four million six twenty-two thousand and one and hundred and one. And seventeen or seventy one cents, I don't remember."

Pepper smiled to herself, eager to run down to the shop and ask JARVIS if Tony was right. "That is so cool…" she muttered to herself as she made her way downstairs.

Tony smiled, laughing at her astonishment and when Pepper turned around to look at him, she saw that his smile had, for the first time in weeks, reached his eyes – though it was just for a moment.

Maybe that was all there was to it. Asking, that is.

**End of this chapter, my pretties.**

**Don't forget to leave a nice/mean/interesting/humorous/critique-ing/whatever review before you leave! You know they mean oh so much to me. **

**:P**


	11. Chapter 11

**My muse is on a motherfucking roll (mind my French).**

**Chapter 11**

Pepper swallowed her last bite of her hamburger, licking her fingers as she rolled onto her back. "You know," she said, once she had swallowed her piece, remaining on the floor. "We're really bad at this packing thing."

She and Robert were at Pepper's apartment. They had planned to pack most of her things and take them over to Robert's but in the end, they'd filled up one small suitcase and had spent their time making hamburgers and watching terrible horror movies.

"What are you talking about?" Robert asked, his mouth full. "We're the best there is – we should start a bloody company."

"Right," Pepper said with a roll of her eyes. "Fastest movers on the coast. Just don't feed us."

Robert chuckled. "It sounds like a sign at the zoo. 'Look at all the pretty penguins. Just don't feed them…they go ballistic'."

"I don't remember zoo signs ever saying that," Pepper said.

"Well, you've obviously never been to the best zoo on Earth."

"And where is that?"

"Well…last time I checked, I think they moved off grid…"

"Off grid?" Pepper taunted.

"Something like that."

"So…not on Earth?"

"Well…essentially."

She laughed again, standing up and reached for Robert's plate. "Are you done? How about dessert?"

"Pepper, I just ate three of these-"

"It's apple pie."

"I think I'll just serve myself," Robert quickly decided, changing his mind as he got to his feet.

Pepper nodded to herself as he left before her. Still smiling she said, "That's what I thought."

* * *

_**10:30 AM, Next Day**_

As soon as Pepper entered the shop, she decided that her most important task of the day would be organizing the absolute mess in Tony's shop.

It looked as if World War III had rampaged through the garage – and then a tornado had stuck shortly after. More papers than she cared to keep up with were strewn across the floor; every working monitor was up and running and there was even a holographic display of what looked like an entire city…

_No lawyers,_ she prayed to whoever was listening, _And no lawsuits. Please, please, please…?_

"Tony?" she called out, quietly enjoying the sound of his name. It had been a while since she had even uttered his first name and now that the two of them were suddenly on speaking terms again, she was sure to use it to her heart's content. After a moment of silence, she tried again, "Tony?"

Pepper circled the area and spotted him fast asleep on the couch, his hands crossed tightly over his chest. "Listen, I need you to-"

Her feet skidded across some papers on the floor and she slipped, shrieking. Her foot rolled under her but she managed to catch herself before any real damage was done. With a roll of her eyes and her heart still pounding, she angrily bent down to grab at the papers on the floor, stacking them up in no particular order and slammed them hard on one of the tables. But when she turned around, to her surprise, Tony was still asleep.

Pepper frowned, walking towards him but paying close attention to whatever was lying on the floor. Tony was a light sleeper – an unfortunate bonus that went along with his insomnia, and yet he was still out cold. It was reason enough to start panicking.

Unless, of course, he was pretending to be asleep so he didn't have to sign anything.

She nodded to herself, deciding that was the most likely explanation and repeated his name again to wake him – but still, no answer.

"It's not funny, Tony, I'm in a hurry and I-"

As soon as she was just a few feet away from him, she was silenced. Despite his deep slumber, he was frowning, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a taut line. And a heavy sweat was seeping through his loose, long sleeve shirt. As she took just one step closer, she could see the same sweat forming on his brow and dripping down the side of his face.

And he wasn't breathing.

She panicked when she noticed, just about to scream his name and shake him awake but he suddenly exhaled through his nose and took in another sharp breath. Again, about four seconds later, his awkward breathing cycle repeated.

Pepper's eyes were wide as she watched him, not sure what to think.

_This isn't supposed to be happening. He's not supposed to have a nightmare._

He was better – cured, she thought. The few times they had talked about it should have…he was fine up until now…he had said…they had talked…

_No_, she told herself; he _hadn't_ said anything. And they had certainly never talked about what he was going through, not properly anyway. It was always Pepper finding him accidentally, or JARVIS calling her in the middle of the night because he was on the precipice of death or a coma. She was there for the aftermath.

It must have just gotten…well, not necessarily better. He wasn't better – it had just become tolerable enough for him to handle it by himself. And her finding him today, again it was all just an accident. He wasn't supposed to be asleep at three in the afternoon, anyway. It was just all these stupid papers keeping him up all night that had probably instigated a quick nap that had turned into…this.

Unable to watch his agony, she reached toward him, ready to shake him to consciousness - but not before he revealed something else.

When she looked carefully, she could see that his lips were moving, ever so slightly. He was talking – in his dream, or nightmare. She couldn't make out what he was saying, and she wasn't sure she even wanted to know.

"Tony…" she took his shoulder and moved him a few times, but still, he refused to respond. "Come on, wake up…" she begged.

Nothing.

But his mumblings did get a little louder – she still couldn't understand what he was saying, but any fool could tell he was growing desperate: begging.

She couldn't take it anymore. "Tony!" she yelled again, much louder, and she shook him violently.

Tony's eyes suddenly opened, darting in every other direction frantically as his pupils dilated. His breathing intensified, his arms quickly unfolded and he reached for the back of his head. But his movement had been so sudden; he hadn't realized he'd accidentally slammed his fist into Pepper's jaw.

She backed away quickly, holding onto the side of her face as he hyperventilated, still in the mindset of his dream. He looked lost, confused and, worst of all, terrified. But what she didn't understand were his hands – holding the back of his head as if he had a terrible headache. What did that mean?

And his hands stayed there for a few short moments too until he realized he wasn't thousands of miles away, stuck in a cave. He was at home. Safe.

He calmed down and as he did, his hands slowly left his head and remained on either side of him, as if ready to prop himself up. Tony looked around lazily until he spotted Pepper, still holding the side of her face with eyes that looked just as lost and confused as his own.

He initially misinterpreted her gesture as surprise. _Shit_, he thought to himself. _Shit, shit, shit…_ Now, how was he going to write this off?

"Well…that wasn't embarrassing," he muttered to himself, sitting up properly and immediately, the cold air from the garage hit his back, chilling him – he was sweating all over the place. _Perfect, Stark. Real smooth._

"You know," he continued when she said nothing. "We could always pretend this never happened and happily move on with-" he stopped immediately; finally understanding that it wasn't just surprise that had taken over her.

"Did I _hit_ you?" he asked quickly, dropping his "I'm fine" façade immediately.

Pepper hesitated, then withdrew her hand from her face. "Y-no…yes, a little…" she mumbled helplessly. "I'm fine, it's not-"

He cursed under his breath again when he saw it: a bruise was already forming.

"Damn it, Potts!" he grumbled to himself, standing up quickly. He rushed to the medicine cabinet in the garage and raided the area for an instant ice pack.

"Sit," he instructed on his way back to the couch, breaking the bag inside the ice pack. She did as he said, gingerly touching the area he had accidentally smacked. Nothing felt broken or fractured.

He squatted so he was at her level and grimaced again when he saw the bruise. Yes – he'd hit her – hard.

"Pepper…" he sighed, exasperated as he gently placed the ice pack on the side of her face.

"I'm fine, Tony," she said, accepting it.

"Why'd you wake me up?" he asked suddenly. He'd rather endure his nightmare fifty more times than have to see her come to work every day with a bruise he had given her. "I was having a peaceful nap and dreaming about seagulls and the beach."

She was supposed to laugh – that was the point. Tony Stark, breaking the ice and easing the tension. But she didn't buy it, not for one minute. "No, you weren't," she said seriously.

"A certain particularly attractive red head was there too," he continued.

"It's not funny."

He sighed, his lighthearted tone disappearing. "I know," he said quietly, his eyes losing contact with hers. "I just hoped you would take the hint." He looked back at her. "And maybe we could drop it?"

Pepper shook her head. No, there was no "dropping", not while she was around.

"Tony, you-"

"I…don't-" he shook his head, implying that he'd rather not talk about any of it at all.

Maybe later, Pepper thought to herself – maybe some other time. "I thought it was getting better. Nothing's happened these last few weeks so I thought you were getting…better…"

"I _am_ getting better, Potts," he explained. But she slowly shook her head 'no', disagreeing with him. He sighed. "It doesn't…look like it, but I am. This _is_ better, Pepper. And I didn't think it was necessary for me to call you every time I…" he drifted on, not willing to actually _say_ the rest of it.

"But..._why_?" she asked, failing to comprehend. "You have no problem calling me at every odd hour when you need…something…" she trailed off, realizing that he actually _didn't_ call at every odd hour. Not anymore, at least. It used to be his signature – shooting her a text in the middle of a meeting because he felt like eating a burger for lunch, calling at five in the morning because he couldn't remember the name of the guy he had talked to two weeks ago at that really boring meeting, do you remember, Ms. Potts?

"You don't…" she said slowly. "You don't…call anymore, do you?" Was it part of the silent treatment she had endured for the last few weeks? "Why?" she asked, suddenly angry.

"You _want_ me to call you at two in the morning?" he checked.

"Well, no…"

Tony shrugged. "I don't understand the problem here."

"You used to."

"Yeah, but-"

"Why?"

Tony shrugged. _So you could live your life._ "Because you don't like it? Pepper, what does this have to do with anything?"

"Nothing," she mumbled under the ice pack. For a moment, she took it away from her face, the cold beginning to sting. Tony took her hand gently to examine the bruise – damn thing was only getting larger. He winced again before placing her hand back.

"It's not your fault," she assured him.

"Yes, it is."

"It was an accident."

"No – I'm just mental."

"No, you're not!" she barked suddenly and Tony nearly jumped. "You're not."

Tony said nothing for a moment, refusing to agree with her. "Do you need anything?"

"_I'm_ supposed to ask that," she answered instead.

Tony smiled but said nothing, nodding to her and prompting her to ask for herself.

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?" she mumbled, feeling rather unprofessional.

"That'll be all, Ms. Potts," he answered before taking her hand and standing up with her. He sighed, ready to be rid of this entire memory…well, most of it. It was nice to talk to her, even if he didn't reveal much.

"I need to change," he said. And with that short explanation, he excused himself.

* * *

_**6:30 PM**_

"Alright, Virginia…" Robert called out as soon as he heard the door close. They were both back at Pepper's place again, in hopes that they'd _actually_ get some packing done. "We've got chicken alfredo made by yours truly. However, the alfredo sauce seems to have lumps the size of golf balls in it so…I'm thinking pizza delivery?"

Pepper laughed as she locked the door behind her. "It smells wonderful though."

"Doesn't taste as good. The consistency is…questionable."

"Let me see," Pepper said as she walked into the kitchen, getting her own spoon.

"I mean, look at it – what happened to your face!" he shrieked suddenly. "Are you alright?"

Pepper looked up suddenly, trying to act as if it wasn't a big deal. "Nothing happened," she tried to explain. "I had an accident at work."

"I don't believe you," he said suddenly, _angrily_. No, he was just scared. "The only thing that can cause a bruise that big is walking into an open door – _sideways_. And with your head tilted backwards."

"And that's exactly what happened," Pepper told him.

"What happened, Virginia?"

He looked frantic, honestly worried for her. "Calm down, it's not a big deal," she said.

"That's just it though, I know it's a big deal because you won't tell me."

At that moment, she knew that the best answer was the truth. The only problem she faced now was making sure he didn't wind up hating the accidental culprit. "Tony… accidentally…clocked me one."

"How the hell did he accidentally-?" It was the first time in weeks since Tony's name had even been mentioned. And bringing it up now during a conversation about the bruise on her jaw wasn't the best way to introduce her boss back into the house.

"He was asleep!" she defended. "He was asleep and I tried to wake him up and…I startled him. It was a complete accident."

Robert nodded, still not pleased, but beginning to calm down. "Do you need me to take care of it?" he asked, referring to her jaw.

"No, it's fine – he got it."

He nodded again, but his demeanor had long gone sour. And mention of Tony wasn't helping matters.

"Why do you hate him so much, anyway?" she said suddenly. "He hasn't done anything to you."

"I don't trust him," he said, tossing the alfredo sauce into the disposal.

"And why not?" Pepper argued. "He's never _done_ anything to you! You've never even met the man or talked to him and you still can't give him a break!"

Robert felt a twinge of guilt at that, but it soon disappeared. "He was always calling you at odd hours which meant he had absolutely no respect for you-"

"That's not true, Robert!" Pepper seethed. "He's eccentric and insane, and that's why I like him. And that's why I'll _keep_ working for him."

"Then why was he always-"

"_Was_?" Pepper quickly interrupted. "You said 'was'. As in the past tense – he doesn't anymore, does he?" She thought back, realizing that she had told Tony the same thing just a few hours ago – that he wasn't as eccentric as usual. That he wasn't as wild and impulsive as before – he always gave her the space he thought she needed.

"He doesn't do any of that anymore, you've noticed haven't you?" Pepper asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking worried.

"You know what I mean! He doesn't bug me as much as he used to, does he? You got what you wanted, then – so why do you still hate him?"

Robert sighed slowly and tightened his jaw. "I'm fine with him. I just want him to stay where he is now. At _work_."

"Robert…" she said slowly, trying to understand with him. "You _can_ trust him. This…" – she pointed to her bruise – "…was an accident. And you don't have to think he's going to…try a move on me or anything, alright?"

"I'm not jealous, Virginia…"

And that was his ego kicking in. _God_, she thought to herself. He was just like Tony and he didn't even realize it – except for the anger. Tony never _yelled_ at her like he did. Tony gave her the silent treatment and refused to talk to her when he was angry – he didn't yell at her.

"I just don't like him. And I don't understand why you're so attached to him either."

Pepper nodded once. "Fine," she said, deciding she'd had enough. "Well, when you decide to be civil you can come back."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means _leave_, Robert."

He said nothing, just looking at her unbelievingly. Then, "No."

Pepper's breath caught in her throat. "Robert…" she warned, trying to keep her voice from wavering.

"Try and put yourself in my shoes-"

"I _am_. Really, I am – but that's not our problem. The problem is that _you're_ not trying to understand with _me._ If you did, you'd know that he's my friend and you'd understand that there is nothing you can do about it. If you want 'us' to work, you need to understand that my friendship with Tony isn't up for negotiation. You don't ever have to talk to Tony if you don't want to – and I'm fine with that. But don't try and control who _I_ talk to."

"That's not fair, I'm not trying to control…"

"Tony and I have known each other for over a decade. I can't ignore that, Robert. Despite how much you might want me to."

"And exactly where in that decade of "professional" friendship did you start using his first name on a daily basis and did he start giving you pet names?"

Pepper hesitated – but not necessarily because she was caught off guard, though that much was true. But because she couldn't believe he had gone that far. Her head tilted to the side, ready to tear him to pieces and only one word left her lips, "What?" Her tone was low and her lips were set in a firm line. It was more of a direct threat rather than a question.

"You heard me," Robert persisted, not catching the hint. "'Pepper'? I hate it. And I suppose you call him 'Paprika'?"

"You…" Pepper started slowly, her eyes cold. "Are _not _honestly dragging my friendship with Tony into our relationship." Another threat.

Robert sighed, rubbing the side of his head with his thumb. "Virginia, work with me-"

"Get out," she said – again, in that even, low tone.

"Virginia-"

"I want you to take your things, and get out of my apartment. Right now."

She hadn't raised her voice, not like he had and she stayed where she was, waiting for him to follow her directions. Robert sighed again, deciding he'd lost this one and walked right past her, taking his keys. She didn't move until she heard the door slam loudly behind her.

Pepper turned around, faced with half of a pot of lumpy alfredo sauce.

At that moment, she knew she was going to have to choose. So which relationship was more important to her? Her friendship with Tony? Or her relationship with Robert?

And how exactly did Robert even _know_ that Tony called her 'Pepper'? Had she mentioned it once? Maybe…that was always a possibility…

She ignored the thought, deciding it wasn't even important. What was important was what she decided to do now, and whom she chose.

**So…who is it going to be? Is it our ever favorite Tony? Or the boyfriend? The possibilities are endless…well, not really. I mean, we only got two choices here so…you've got a 50% chance. Lol. **

**BTW – I've finished writing this fic. Completely. So I'll be posting the remaining chapters quickly…hopefully. :) I haven't even been near a computer in 48 hours because of work. Yikes.**

**Review please anyway! I'd love to hear from you. Thanks a bunch! xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

**Look what I brought! A REALLY long chapter!**

**Chapter 12**

For two full days she refused to talk to Robert. Despite the many voicemails he left on her phone, she wasn't appeased.

The two of them couldn't continue – relentlessly arguing about her boss and never reaching some sort of stable agreement about it. He seemed bent on making sure she and Tony were nothing more than employee and employer, refusing to understand that his hope was impossibility. Did he not care about anything she said? That the two of them had perhaps the most eccentric and strangest relationship on the face of this Earth, but nevertheless it worked?

Or maybe she was the one who was being selfish. Pepper tried to place herself in Robert's shoes…she supposed, if he spent a significant amount of time at work…

She sighed, hating herself. Granted, if the roles had switched she would have been a little skeptical about his boss just as he had been initially. But surely she would learn to trust him. Sure, a childish jealousy might perk up every now and then, but she'd learn to understand with him – because she loved him enough to understand.

So what exactly was the problem here?

Pepper rolled her eyes as she stabbed her fork into the ice cream container, too frustrated to bother getting a spoon. It didn't matter – she sure as hell wasn't going to come groveling after him. She was better than that. If Robert didn't come back because he was too busy pouting, then she wouldn't even have to make the decision – he would have made it all by himself.

* * *

It was three in the morning when her phone rang. Pepper groaned lazily, reaching towards the nightstand, eyes still closed. When her hand gripped her phone she sat up, leaving the lights off, and grumbled, "Hello?"

"Pepper?" he sounded anxious, as if already wishing he hadn't called.

"Tony?" she grumbled again, still groggy. "What is it?"

"Hi…uh…I'm sorry, I know it's late…"

As soon as she heard him say that, sleep instantly left her. Now she knew it was important. If he were calling to ask about something miniscule or unimportant, he would have just asked. He was only this considerate when there really was a problem.

"What is it?" she repeated.

"Um…I…I messed up. I need help and I can't do it myself."

"What happened?" she asked again, her heart pounding within the confines of her chest."

"I…had an accident," he said, phrasing his words carefully. "It's…pretty bad…"

There was no way he'd actually answer her question in a straightforward manner. For some reason, in his psychotic twisted mind, he was certain she would worry less if he left these foreboding and ominous hints as opposed to explaining what had actually happened. "I'll be right there. Don't move, okay?"

Tony _actually_ laughed. "I'll try not to."

She hung up and dove out of bed and within minutes, was in her car on the way to Tony's, imagining the many different scenarios that might explain his phone call. What could he have possibly done? Blow up the garage? He didn't sound in pain – just anxious.

And that only made her rush faster.

* * *

_**10 minutes later**_

She didn't bother calling for him – he never answered anyway. So instead she made her way downstairs towards the one place he could ever be at three in the morning.

"What happened?" she asked nervously as she closed the shop door behind her. She found him sitting in his chair, facing the door and from where she was, she couldn't tell what was wrong. He was hunched over and his hands were tightly clasped together.

"Tony, what-"

As soon as she went around the corner of the desk, she finally saw what the problem was. He was clutching his wrist tightly and despite the lack of light in the room, she could make out the sticky red slipping past his fingers and staining his nails.

"Oh my God-"

"Don't panic," Tony begged, heaving a little. "It was an accident-"

"Why the hell did you call me? JARVIS call a hospital right now-"

"No!" Tony interjected quickly.

"Tony, this is serious-"

"I know it's serious," he said unconvincingly. "I need help."

_No shit, Sherlock. _"A hospital can-"

"I don't like doctors," he whined, pouting.

Pepper stared at his pleading brown eyes, then back at the cut he was hiding on his wrist. "What happened?" she demanded.

"I…I was working on the suit-" he nodded to the side, indicating where he had been. "I…I don't know what happened, I just…I don't know, I just zoned out for a minute and I slipped and my hand got stuck-"

"Okay, never mind, it's fine…" Pepper said, shutting him up. She took his left hand carefully. "Just…let me see how bad it is…"

Tony winced as he peeled his hand away from his right wrist, and as he did, she realized the problem was much worse than she had initially anticipated. It wasn't just his right wrist – the back of his hands as well as his right palm were cut up and bleeding as well, as if he'd stuck his hand into a sink garbage disposal.

"Oh God…"

"It's fine, not as bad as it looks…"

"Would you shut up?" Pepper shrieked, trying to slow down her breathing. She was panicking, and that was the last thing she needed to do. _Calm down, Pepper_, she told herself. She exhaled slowly. "JARVIS, switch the lights on."

She almost panicked again when the light further illuminated what she was dealing with and she closed her eyes for a moment to keep herself from screaming.

"Pepper…"

She opened her eyes. "I'm fine…it's fine. Tony, you need to go to a hospital."

"I need help."

"I know you do, that's why-"

"Can you do it?"

Pepper looked up at him, shocked, and for the first time, she saw his bloodshot eyes. He was in pain…serious pain. And despite it all, he was unwilling to go to a professional.

"Tony, I can't-"

"Please?"

"This needs stitches, Tony!" she yelled, growing exasperated and feeling helpless.

"I know," Tony told her. "You can do stitches, right?"

"What?" she shrieked again. "Of course I can't! I've never-"

"Have you ever done drapes? Or curtains?"

"Yes, but-"

Tony seemed pleased and nodded energetically. "Yeah, it's just like that."

"No, it's not! This isn't the Dark Ages!" Panic was starting to take over her again. Why was he so difficult? Did he honestly expect him to stitch him up here in the shop? And the blood gushing from his hands was helping matters either. "I can't and…what if, you might have cut into an artery or a vein – I don't know…"

He had expected this response. "No, I didn't – I asked JARVIS, he said it's possible to stitch it up here in the shop as long as I sterilize everything appropriately."

_I do not approve of completing this procedure in the confines of your home,_ JARVIS quickly added, as if fearing Pepper's wrath. _It would be wiser to do so in a hospital setting._

"No one asked you," Tony complained.

"So go to-"

"JARVIS said you can do it-"

"I don't care what JARVIS says!"

"I need you to do it," he pleaded again, holding onto his hand. "I don't want to go, don't make me go…"

She was used to his aversion for hospitals, but this was different. This just wasn't hatred for the place. This was fear.

He hadn't been like this when he had been taken to the hospital a few weeks ago after overdosing. But then again, he'd been unconscious; Tony didn't really have a say in the matter. Yet, just by looking at him now, she could tell that it was fear that was taking hold, and not a simple aversion.

She'd have to do it. "Okay, I'll do it Tony, alright? Don't worry, I'll do it…"

Tony visibly relaxed and Pepper tried to smile, albeit apprehensively.

"Thank you."

"It's fine…" she said. "Just hold on to that…tight, don't let go." She left him for a moment to look for the first aid kit as well as the sewing kit.

"I…uh," Tony hesitated from where he was. "I'd ask Dummy to do it…but his stitching techniques are rather…eccentric."

She laughed, attempting to calm herself down in the process. She returned with the sewing kit, a match box, and a bottle of Tylenol. Tony managed to muster enough strength to laugh at the last one. But he accepted the three capsules Pepper handed him.

Pepper wiped down the black thread she intended to use with a wipe in the kit, hoping that qualified as "sterilized" and drew the needle through an open flame for a few seconds.

"Have you done this before?" Tony asked suddenly.

She shook her head, biting her bottom lip until she was sure she drew blood. "No – I just hope my ninth grade biology teacher taught us correctly."

He nodded, gripping his wrist. "Ah."

She nodded again. _Focus, Pepper. Focus… _"Ok, Tony, let me see…" she said, taking his hand away from his wrist. He did so slowly and Pepper tried not to inhale too quickly. She took a damp washcloth she had brought and very carefully cleaned his hand, removing the excess blood.

"At least I'm not asking you to pull out wires from the middle of my chest again."

A smile crossed Pepper's lips. "I'd rather do that – twice."

Pepper held on to the needle with one hand and took Tony's arm with her other. There were many cuts other than the one on his wrist and she wasn't even sure if they all needed stitches.

"I don't know, Tony…" she tried to explain. "I don't want to mess up…"

"JARVIS can give you instructions if you want," Tony offered, clenching his teeth. "JARVIS, make yourself useless…or something."

And so he did, scanning Tony's wounds and assessing how many stitches he would need and exactly where and how to place them. The verdict: twelve on his left hand, and twenty-two on his right.

"Tony!" she begged one last time.

"No, you can do it, Potts," he reassured her.

Holding her breath and trying hard not to close her eyes, she pushed the needle through his skin.

He winced, trying not to worry her.

"Are you okay?" she asked instantly.

"You're doing fine, Pepper," he told her. "I'm fine, you're doing fine."

She nodded, telling herself that if she cried, the tear would probably end up in his hand, burning the hell out of it. Absolutely no tears. She pushed the needle through again.

"Ah," he exclaimed this time, wincing again.

"I'm sorry," she said, her hand now shaking.

"It's not your fault, you're fine, don't be sorry." He looked at her and noticed her shaking hand. "Do you want to stop for a minute?"

Sometimes, she just couldn't believe him. He was the one getting the stitches and yet he was offering her a timeout. "No, I got it," she told him as she continued, biting her lip every time he winced despite how hard he tried to keep it all in.

After a few minutes, she'd only gone through five of the stitches he needed. She was beginning to lose hope and by now, he was used to the pain and had deferred to biting his tongue every time the needle went through.

"So…how about the weather?" he offered, after a period of long silence, biting his tongue again as the needle went through.

"What?" she asked, not sure what to think. What weather?

_Not the weather_, Pepper thought to herself._ Just talk._ He just needed to talk, to take his mind off of what was happening.

She could give him a recap of the last meeting he had skipped – but that would probably increase the pain tenfold; not nearly a good enough distraction. Or maybe they could finally discuss the expo, information lying all over the place.

Or…

"I…" she muttered, not sure where to begin. "What happened when…you cut your hand? What were you doing?"

That definitely caught him by surprise. And she used the moment to quickly pierce his skin again with the needle. "I told you I was working on the suit-"

"No, not that – I believe you. I just meant…you know, what really happened. I mean, that is…what were you…um, thinking about?"

"I don't…remember," he mumbled quickly, now angry with himself for suggesting a conversation.

"Tony, talk to me," she begged. Holding the needle in her hand as she looked into his bloodshot eyes.

"I…" he hesitated. "I was…I was just thinking about…someone I knew. He was with me."

"Who was with you?" she asked, puncturing the skin again. She went a little deeper than she had anticipated and Tony yelped and bit his lower lip, his eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," Pepper mumbled, panicking again. Fear took hold and her hand began to shake once more. But this time, the rest of her body followed suit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, you're fine. You're doing great, Pepper, just keep going," he told her as the pain began to subside.

But she was still in shock. "I'm sorry-"

"You're doing fine, don't worry about it. Do you want a break?"

She nodded slowly, still staring at his cut up hand. "A minute…" she mumbled again, trying to slow down her breathing, closing her eyes tightly. As soon as she was calm again, she cracked her eyes open and took his hand again, ready to continue. "Sorry," she told him as she continued, cringing each time he winced.

"You're doing great," he told her each time she started to hesitate. "You're fine."

Pepper nodded once. Then after a moment, asked again, "Um…who was with you?"

"Yinsen," he answered quickly, eyes avoiding the needle poking at him.

"Was this…in…?" she prompted.

"Afghanistan," he answered, nodding.

Pepper was caught by surprise. Up until now she had thought Tony had been alone in that cave. Had he been with someone else the entire time?

"You…you weren't alone?"

"No," he said, closing his eyes as she drew the needle through. "No, he was with me. He was there before me…he even did the whole-" He used his other hand to gesture towards his chest, implying the arc reactor.

"The…surgery?"

"Yeah, he did that."

"But…" she paused so that she could concentrate for a moment. Then continued, "But I thought you invented the chest piece…how did he-"

"He didn't invent the chest piece…that came later," he quickly explained, gasping a little.

"Should I stop?" Pepper checked, realizing she had never asked him.

Tony shook his head. "No, keep going. You're doing great. The…uh, the chest piece came later when I was awake. Yinsen, he was also an engineer. A physicist I think." He laughed a little, sadly. "We'd even met before…at a technical conference." He looked at Pepper, sadness masking his face despite his smile. "Can you believe it? We'd met."

"You remembered him?"

"Me? No," he said with a slight roll of his eyes, still smiling morosely. "Apparently I was filthy drunk. He gave a lecture on integrated circuits. He remembered _me_. But…ahh-ah!" he gasped again as Pepper continued stitching.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't stop," he told her. "You know, I didn't even ask his name until the day after we met again in Afghanistan." He laughed again, as the now bittersweet memories resurfaced. "He…he installed an electromagnet into my chest," he explained. "I replaced it later but initially it was an electromagnet. And it was connected to a car battery."

Pepper was silent, trying to understand how someone could possibly make a car battery fit into man's chest.

"How did it fit?" she asked curiously.

"What do you – oh!" Tony exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "Ah! It…was _connected_ to a car battery. So the magnet was in my chest and…there were two wires…connecting it to a battery that I'd carry with me…"

The picture slowly formed slowly in Pepper's mind and as soon as it did, she wanted to cry. She could see him in her head, holding a car battery, hugging it closely as he was thrown about. Literally holding his heart in his hands.

Tony's heavy breathing and contorted facial expression brought her back to the present. "Should I stop?" she asked again. This time, he nodded, saying nothing, and left his hand held out stiffly.

"Do you have any of those painkillers left?" she asked.

He shook his head.

She nodded in response, waiting until he was ready to keep going. "Tony, if I take you to a hospital, it'll be easier…"

"No."

She waited for him patiently as he quietly gasped. It pained her to see him like this and she was desperate to ease his suffering. "Tony, please, let me take you."

He shook his head. "I hate hospitals."

"I know but-"

"I was awake, you know," he said. "When he put in the magnet, during the surgery."

Pepper's eyes widened immediately.

"It wasn't his fault. He gave me an anesthetic but it wasn't enough – probably because they didn't _give_ him enough. So I could feel it. I wasn't knocked out properly until the end." Then after a quiet pause, he reiterated. "I don't like hospitals."

She nodded, finally understanding. "Okay," she told him. "I won't ask again, it's fine…"

He was silent as he slowly gave her his arm to continue.

"I'm sorry that had to happen," she said quietly, as the needle went through once more.

"I'm not."

She glanced up at him. "Why?"

"Because it made me do something useful."

"Running a multibillion dollar company is pretty important, Tony."

"You ran it." Pepper stopped, eyes fixed on him. "Very well, actually," he added.

She said nothing and carried on. "So…the other man…Yinsen. Where is he now? Where was he from?"

"Gulmira."

This time, Pepper forced herself to keep stitching despite her surprise. Gulmira – the small town was all over the news, thanks to Iron Man's antics there some months back. It had been where he had made his "debut", if that was even the proper word. "He didn't…make it, did he?" Pepper realized aloud.

Tony shook his head. "He went to buy me more time – and it worked. He saved my life, but he just…maybe if I'd-"

"I don't want to hear it," she interrupted quickly. "You did what you could, Tony. You coming back wasn't a mistake." She looked at him seriously. "Do you understand that?" He hesitated before nodding and Pepper continued silently. "There's a reason you're here, Tony. If you dare think otherwise, I'll quit. I promise you that."

He nodded again, his eyes downcast. It had been something that had bothered him. In the end, it had all been Yinsen's decision, but that still didn't make him stop wondering, "What if".

"He told me not to waste my life," Tony said.

"You're not."

"I was before."

"Tony, just because you hate board meetings and the business aspect of the company, that doesn't mean you're a failure. The company wouldn't be where it is today were it not for-"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

Actually, she didn't. But nevertheless, she continued. "I'm proud of you, Tony. For everything you've done in just a few months. More proud of you than I ever have been."

His heart immediately swelled: approval – from none other than his assistant. _I'm doing something right_. "Even though you almost quit on me?" he asked, unable to suppress a small, honest smile.

And she smiled back. "Yes, even then, Mr. Stark."

They were silent then. The only sounds in the room were the running computers and Tony's occasional suppressed exclamation when the needle went through a particularly sensitive spot. Pepper tried to piece together everything he'd told her and what she'd learned from the past – the terrorists, the water torture, his companion in Afghanistan, Yinsen…

"The car battery," she said suddenly with a sigh, just as she completed the last stitch on his right hand.

"What car battery?" Tony asked, by now relatively indifferent to the pain.

"The one you said was attached to the magnet," she explained. "It scares me…I-I don't know why but it does."But she did know why it scared her the most – it was the display of vulnerability, imagining her boss in that state and realizing that it had been a truth.

Once she was finished with his right hand, he handed her his left and she cleaned it off again before repeating the procedure. Tony visibly winced this time and Pepper glanced up at him, and then back down.

"You know…" she said, quietly – carefully even. "When they first called me and said you were missing…I laughed."

Tony looked up at her, waiting for her to carry on; his brown eyes were warm.

"I laughed," she repeated. "I thought they were being stupid. I said they should call me back in the morning and even said that when they find you, they should let you know that I would disconnect JARVIS for a month for playing such a terrible prank on everyone."

He hummed slightly. "I don't think that punishment's fair."

"I thought it was. I went on with the rest of my day, planning everything for you to arrive that afternoon. Happy and I drove to the hangar to pick you up…he hadn't heard yet." She inhaled slowly, holding her breath for a short moment. "And then…Rhodey came out of the plane…and I couldn't find you…"

It was no use – her eyes were blurring and she leaned back so the stray tears wouldn't fall into his open wounds.

"Pepper, you don't have to-"

Now it was her turn to repeat the familiar phrase. "I'm fine," she told him. She waited for about half a minute until she'd composed herself. "Rhodey said it was shock. That when they'd told me on the phone I didn't believe them because of the shock. And I know it sounds silly now, but when I remember getting that phone call…" she shrugged to herself. "It just didn't make _sense_ for you to be me missing. The concept was just…"

Tony remained silent. He'd never thought about what anyone else was going through. Sure, he knew there had probably been a search party running…for about three weeks at best. But he'd never considered the fact that he would have been missed.

"I came by everyday," she said. "To make sure everything was where it was supposed to be – as if everything would move around if I didn't show up. Rhodey went looking for a month – then they cut off his funding and essentially put him on some sort of military house arrest." She stopped, frowning to herself. "You…you won't laugh, will you? If I tell you something."

Tony shook his head. "What?"

She continued stitching. "I slept in the shop for the first week."

But Tony didn't laugh. Instead, her statement jogged his memory. "I heard you once."

"What?"

"When they were pushing my head under the water." Tony didn't quite understand why he felt obligated to tell her all this, especially now. He couldn't explain it, but it just felt right to tell the full truth. Finally. "I heard you…I think. It doesn't make any sense-"

"What did I say?"

"My name. You just said my name."

Pepper smiled sadly, finishing up his left hand. As soon as she was done, she dropped everything, signaling her completion. While Tony examined her handiwork, Pepper left to wash her hands and replace everything she had gathered. When she returned, she sat back down in front of him.

And they talked.

Long into the night, they talked; about the kidnapping that had changed their lives and how life had been on either side of the coin. Tony told her about the cave, how it had been set up, the number of steps and turns it took to get out of the room Yinsen and Tony had been trapped in for months. About how many servings of beans and lentils he had eaten until he was sure the stuff was coming out of his nostrils. Pepper told him about the cancelled rescue mission, that they couldn't legally declare Tony dead – not for another six months which made his disappearance seem more like an unofficial stalemate, that she talked to JARVIS every day to ensure he wouldn't lose his sarcastic touch when Tony returned.

There were moments in their story during which they laughed – like when Tony mentioned the beans and lentils and Pepper confessed that JARVIS was actually pretty good company. And there were moments during the retelling where Pepper looked as if she was considering murder and Tony was honestly on the brink of tears. Like when Tony finally explained why he'd awoken from his nightmare with his hands behind his head – that the gesture was a sign of submission. And when Pepper had admitted she had slept at Tony's place for a week. But they kept going until the sun just began to peek over the horizon and dawn was underway.

"It's late," Tony pointed out.

He meant early. Pepper only nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"Aren't you tired?"

She nodded again. "A little."

"You should go home."

Another nod. "Yeah."

But it took her a full minute to muster the willpower to stand up from the couch, where their conversation had migrated sometime during the night. Without a single word, she took her purse and keys from the table they had left earlier that night. But before she went out the door, she returned to him and faced him. "I'm not leaving," she said suddenly.

"It's late…"

"No, I mean it. I'm _not_ leaving. I'm not leaving _you_. Do you understand that?"

Tony nodded slowly, initially not understanding what she was talking about. But in time, her words and their meaning became clearer.

"You're all I have, remember?"

She didn't wait for him to reply that time. She turned and walked out the door, ready to spend the rest of the day sleeping in. But had she turned around, she would have seen Tony still nodding after her as the floodgates of relief washed over his eyes.

**The next chapter should be coming soon (obviously – I've written it already, remember? XP)**

**I love you all, you know that? A lot. You make me smile. Xoxo**

**Review please. Promise. Thanks. LOVE. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry this is coming up so late – I WAS ON A CRUISE! My first actually which was exciting. Granted I was there for work (I work as a photographer for events – family business) but still! SO MUCH FOOD! Lolz. **

**Chapter 13**

Robert woke up that morning to zippers and things shuffling and moving about. And whoever was making the noise didn't seem to care at all that it was six thirty in the morning.

He groaned, cursing under his breath and sat up slightly, only to find Pepper hunched up over a duffel bag and stuffing clothes into it frantically and ferociously, a look of total dedication and complete loathing plastered onto her face.

"Virginia?" Robert grumbled groggily. Of course it was her – who else would it be? But why was she packing? "What are you doing?"

Pepper said nothing, continuing to pack. As soon as the bag was full, she zipped it up and took a plastic bag with her to the bathroom – more clattering and shuffling.

Robert got up, wearing only a shirt and his boxers, and followed her. "What are you doing?" he repeated, his eyes looking on questioningly.

Still, Pepper kept silent, throwing her things into the bag.

"Hey, stop – Virginia, stop…look at me…"

"You know," Pepper started once she'd taken everything from the bathroom. She tied up the bag and went back into the bedroom to throw her bathroom belongings into the duffel. "I've been thinking. I've had a lot of time to think, actually." She laughed a little, though her laugh didn't reach her eyes. "I've actually had all night to think."

"You're not making any sense-"

"Everything makes sense!" she screamed suddenly standing up to face him, wide-eyed and livid. "It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?"

"Virginia, calm down-" he tried to take her hand but she yanked it back before he could even touch her, furious.

"It's your fault!" she screamed again, pointing her finger at him. "It's your fault this is the first time in weeks we've actually talked to each other – you _know_ it's your fault so don't even try and pretend-!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Robert yelled back.

"Don't even try to pretend that you're confused-"

"Virginia!"

"I _never_ told you that Tony calls me 'Pepper'," she finally revealed.

Robert, for the first time, was silent.

"I never told you that," Pepper continued. "Everyone at work calls me 'Pepper', but I never said anything about it to you. So the only way for you to have found out my 'pet name' as you so accurately put it is for you to have talked to him _personally_." Pepper clenched her teeth. "What…did you say to him?"

"I didn't say-"

She cut of him off. "It doesn't matter what you said anyway. Because it worked – he backed off. Disappeared. Just like that. You would have thought I was working in a convent – how suddenly _polite_ he was." She backed away from him and picked up her duffel bag, dropping it on the bed. "When he got back from Afghanistan, everyone told me that I shouldn't expect all of him to come back. That there was no way for him to be at one hundred percent after going through what he did. But instead, he came back _better_ than he was before. A better _person._" She held her breath for a moment, then quietly asked him, "Now…do you know what it's like for someone you've known for ten years to suddenly _disappear_? Just when you thought the worst was over? Completely out of the blue. Gone."

"Virginia-"

"He was a shell of the person I once knew. _You_ did that. And I thought it was something I missed or hadn't seen. It felt like I had failed him. I just didn't know it was all your doing. You were jealous, so you were willing to _kill him_. And I can't be with someone who's that _selfish_."

"I didn't do it because I was selfish," Robert said, trying to get in a word edgewise. "I did it because-"

"You knew I wouldn't want it, Robert! Stop lying to me! You knew Tony was important in my life, but that didn't stop you did it?"

"I'm sorry, Virginia."

"You're always sorry," Pepper said, picking up her bag.

"I'm sorry for lying to you."

Pepper stopped. "That's not why I'm angry, Robert." Then, in a harsher tone, she added. "That's not why I'm leaving. I'm leaving because you _purposely_ drove the two of us apart. You let it happen and you _chose_ not to tell me. You were perfectly fine with killing him, thinking it meant you could get a tighter grip on _me_."

"Virginia – you know that's not true," Robert quickly added, trying to get in a word edgewise. For the first time, Pepper actually saw remorse in his eyes. "You know I love you-"

"You wouldn't have done that if you loved me," she corrected. "You don't love me."

"I do, Virginia – you know I do. Just let me-"

She ignored him, carrying her things toward the door. "If you find anything I left behind, mail it." At the threshold, she turned around, taking in one last look at what she was leaving behind and suddenly realized she didn't give a damn.

They were silent for a few long moments, just staring at each other. "So what now?" Robert eventually asked her quietly. "Is that it? Are you going to Tony, now?"

"No," she answered honestly. "I'm not. I'm going to take the rest of the day off, go to work at nine in the morning tomorrow…and be the happiest I've been in months."

"Do you love him?"

Pepper was outside by now, holding her bag with her free hand at the door.

"Do you love him?" Robert repeated. He had to know.

Pepper decided to be honest – brutally so. "Right now, Robert, I love him much more than I love you," she answered smoothly. Then she slammed the door shut, leaving a chapter of her life behind.

* * *

_**Next morning**_

"This Expo idea of yours just sounds like your ego on crack," Rhodes said spitefully.

"Don't be mad, Platypus," Tony taunted as he made an adjustment to the portable suit. "Just because you're not getting your suit, doesn't mean you can't be happy for me…"

"That's exactly what it means!"

Tony laughed as he worked. Rhodes was on his way back to base so they were talking on the phone. Well, Rhodey was whining and Tony was egging him on which accounted for about sixty percent of all their conversations.

"Besides…the expo _isn't_ my ego on crack as you so nicely put it. It's about-"

"Don't give me the 'legacy' crap."

"But-"

"Legacy is a euphemism for egotistical."

Tony thought about it for a moment and shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose there's always a bit of ego whenever legacy is concerned."

"No…" Rhodey said slowly. "Legacy is ego on steroids."

"Are you high right now?"

Rhodey ignored the interjection. "I mean, how narcissistic can you be to be so concerned with what people think about you _after_ you died?"

"That's not narcissistic, Rhodes," Tony said simply.

"Yeah, it is."

"I think you're pouting."

"No, I'm not."

"Relax, Platypus. You're getting a suit."

Rhodey was silent for a moment. "Really?"

"Nope," Tony said quickly. Then he immediately started laughing.

"That wasn't funny, Tony. Not even a little bit."

"Sure it was. You were just on the receiving end so you couldn't appreciate it."

"I'll get you for it too, if you're not careful. Listen, I'm at the hangar so I'll see you probably when I get back."

"Bring me something shiny," Tony said before hanging up on him. Then, he switched his attention to his AI. "JARVIS, how long until I can use my hands?"

_Another three weeks, Sir….for the twenty-fourth time_. _You do realize the length of your recovery remains constant despite how many times you ask for a prognosis?_

Tony rolled his eyes, mumbling to himself. "In that case, since I can't write anything down you better be taking notes."

_When do I not, Sir?_

He laughed to himself, then suddenly wondered why he was in such a good mood.

Well, for starters – he hadn't had a nightmare. Granted, it had only been one night since Pepper had played doctor but one night was the longest he'd gone nightmare-free or any other attack free for the last few months. So it was definitely enough to keep a jump in his step, despite his numb hands.

The Expo had also been approved – that had been yesterday. And now official planning was underway and Stark Industries would be going public with the endeavor in just one week.

The third reason walked through the door at about five past nine.

"So…you lied to me too?" she greeted.

He turned around, not bothering to answer her question. "Pepper! How are you? I'm fine. My hand is sore. Did you hear? I was working and I got it all cut up. Some crazy red head stitched it all up for me though-"

"I heard you had a talk with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago." Pepper quickly interrupted.

Tony raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. "You have a boyfriend? Why didn't you tell me?"

Pepper raised her eyebrow.

"I might have met him," Tony amended. "Briefly."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Pepper, I also got a call from my great aunt twice removed, but did I tell you about that?"

"You have a great aunt?"

"No." Tony shook his head and waved his wounded hand nonchalantly. "That's not the point."

"What did he say?"

"Well…a variety of words were exchanged…"

"Tony."

"We talked about the weather, the economy-"

"Tony..."

"And I think he mentioned an argument he had with you some time ago but my memory might be failing me at this point…I feel awfully light headed at the moment…"

She sighed – she hadn't expected any less, and by now she'd pin-pointed which argument it was that had changed everything – both at home and at work.

"He was pissed off…so I gave him a few minor suggestions," Tony tried to say offhandedly.

Now, _this_ she certainly hadn't expected, and she jogged her memory back to that day. Robert had picked her up because she'd left her car at Tony's and was stuck at Stark Industries. And he'd brought her…a frappucino. With _soy_ milk.

"_Minor_ suggestions?" Pepper repeated, as if she hadn't heard him correctly.

"Well they work pretty well when you're pissed off with me."

"Tony, I'm always pissed off with you."

"I mean in seriously _extreme_ circumstances. Like that one time I tried to surprise you and part of your old house was demolished in the process. An honest accident, might I add…_again._"

"How did you even know I like soy milk?" she quickly interrupted again, not entirely eager to hear that particular story.

"Because I tried your drink once – and I can honestly say soy milk is absolutely disgusting."

"And the frappuccino? Tony, you don't even know what's in your _own_ frappuccino – how on Earth would you know what to get me?" She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"That's entirely false. I know which one I like."

"Ok – which one?"

Tony thought about it for a moment. "I like the one with the little bits in it," he said flicking his fingers as if the gesture accurately explained what those "bits" were.

Pepper thought about it, keeping in mind that the frappuccino she got Tony was always plain mocha. "The ice?" she checked. "The crushed ice?"

"That's ice? It's so crunchy. I swear it's the best part of the drink."

"Ok, never mind," Pepper said, holding up her hand and now ready to abandon the topic. There was no point trying to get into Tony's mind and understand his spying techniques. His mind operated on an entirely different level…and entirely different _frequency._

"This isn't about the drink-" Pepper started carefully.

"Hardly," Tony agreed. "But that doesn't matter. This seems like a conversation you should be having with your boyfriend…" he wagged his finger at her disapprovingly, smiling cockily.

"Ex," she corrected quickly. "My recent ex, Tony."

His face fell immediately and the shine in his eye disappeared just as quickly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I'm going to assume…it was the conversation I had with him that spurred this sudden breakup. Or, more accurately, that you find out about it."

"Not exactly," Pepper said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"So lying doesn't tick you off? Ms. Potts, you are far too easy to please."

"Oh, please."

"Unless there was someone else…?" Tony prompted coyly, pretending to be preoccupied with something on one of the screens.

She tried not to look at him, instead pulling out a file related to the Expo for him to glance through. "Excuse me?"

"Do spill, Potts. My ears are tingling for gossip."

"Well, in that case…there was someone else."

"Really?" his eyes twinkled again. No need to feel sorry about the break up if she didn't…especially if there was someone else now involved.

"At least," Pepper started. "There was someone who was consistently getting in the way of my relationship with Robert." She gave him a very pointed look.

His face fell again as he began to realize the playful banter had taken a more serious turn. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Mr. Stark there's no need for you to apologize. Your ego is set off so easily. Who said I was even talking about you?"

Tony's grin reappeared. "Potts, if we are to be this brutally honest to each other, then I might as well point out that, after all, I _am_ the most constant and consistent man in your life."

Pepper nearly scoffed. "Consistent? You? Hardly."

"I think we'd make an excellent couple."

"Says who?"

"Says me – the day after I saved your life on the Stark Industries roof when Obie turned into a walking missile."

"I completely disagree-"

"I'm aware of your opinions on the subject matter," Tony spat back. "Your side of the argument had something to do with me _not_ bringing you a martini. You have no problem with lying but if a man forgets a drink, the entire relationship's out the window…"

Pepper scoffed again, muttering to herself. "We would _not_ make an excellent couple."

"Of course we would! We've lasted, what ten years? And somehow pulled through a three month, unexpected long distance relationship plus a little insanity session..."

She didn't like hearing that. "Tony, stop."

"Well, it's the truth," he mumbled.

"I don't want to talk about it," Pepper said finally. "Ever. I don't ever want to talk about those three months in Afghanistan or anything else that happened up until two nights ago. It's all in the past – it's over and done. And I want it there. As soon as your hands heal, every single memory of what's happened is gone. I won't remember any of it. So don't even think about bringing it back because I'll just act as if I don't know what you're talking about. We're moving on. That's the plan."

Tony nodded once, his lips pressed tightly together. "Whatever you say, Ms. Potts."

"Good," Pepper said, changing tones erratically. "And I still refuse to date you. You're too high maintenance."

"Am not."

She laughed. "Oh, yes you are."

"Well, you're no better," Tony retaliated. "It's not my fault bringing back a drink would prove so complicated. In my defense, I _did_ order the drinks. I just didn't pick them up. There was a…disturbance."

"I need your autograph, Mr. Stark."

"You're changing the subject," Tony said, awkwardly holding a pen. "You're just like JARVIS."

Pepper smirked back evilly. "Then you should date JARVIS."

"Maybe I will…JARVIS, what are your opinions on dark blue and backless dresses? And be honest."

_I choose to kindly reserve my comments, Sir_.

"So I think we all agree?" Tony said matter of factly to Pepper, ignoring JARVIS's remark. "Concerning our relationship status?"

"If that status is 'nonexistent', then yes, we are precisely on the same page."

"I'm sure you'll come around eventually."

"As they all do, I presume?" Pepper asked, unimpressed.

"Absolutely not. Only the priceless ones take their time."

"I wasn't aware you were capable of waiting."

"Only when the woman is special and intriguing enough to hold my attention for so long," he glanced up at her suggestively, but with an honest look on his eyes.

Pepper felt her cheeks glow and desperately hoped she wasn't blushing. "Feel free to dream – your flattery is falling on dead soil. Unlike you, Mr. Stark, my ego is not nearly as overgrown as yours." And with an almost evil look in her eyes and a smirk dancing upon her lips, she took the signed papers and asked him, "Are we done here?"

Tony pretended to think about it. "Not quite – I think we should go out for lunch."

"No."

"And by 'out' I mean order pizza."

"No," Pepper repeated curtly.

"And while we're at it we could always discuss the Expo."

"Oh, so now you're ready to include me in the planning process."

"Well, considering you play doctor so well I thought I'd try and see how well you could play assistant – you know, the position I actually hired you for."

"Hmm," Pepper hummed. "And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you realized you just can't plan it by yourself? You know, I was beginning to wonder how long it would take you to crack under the pressure."

Tony grimaced and rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath.

Pepper smiled. "If it's any consolation I am thoroughly impressed that you lasted this long."

"So is it a date?"

"I'm not interested in the term you decide to give our _meeting_."

"It's an unprofessional meeting. By default, it's a date."

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

"Yes, that will be all, Ms. Potts."

Tony grinned, looking all too pleased with himself as he watched Pepper leave the room. The sound of her stilettos hitting the floor echoed behind her. Just as the door closed, he noticed a quiet smile was still etched clearly into her features. The same smile presented itself on his own face and as it did, he thought to himself that he did, in fact, have a future to look forward to.

THE END

**Hopefully not too abrupt an ending. But I'm sure most of you saw it coming anyway.**

**So that's that. And now I've to a bit of important news for you…**

**I will be taking a lengthy hiatus from fanfiction – writing that is, not reading. This is because I plan on working on a personal project and in order for it to be successful, I'm going to be spending a LOT of time on it. And, unfortunately, fanfiction is probably one of my greatest (though beautiful) distractions.**

**For those of you who have been reading my earlier Iron Man fics, this also means the sequel to "The Road to Happiness" won't be coming out any time soon (unfortunately). However, I do have the entire story planned out so it will come up in time. Maybe in 6 months, maybe 1 year, I have no idea. But IT WILL BE WRITTEN. I know I've dashed a lot of people's hopes and I do sincerely apologize – but this project is something I really want to pursue so I'll be dedicating a majority of my time to that.**

**So, farewell then – to everyone who has read any or all of my fics and especially to all of those who have reviewed. I really do appreciate it and I'll be sure to leave my mark on YOUR review pages when you write.**

**Thanks for reading! LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS AGAIN! Please do leave one last review for me.**

**xoxo **

**writingmonkey10**


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